by Buckminster Solo
(Presented by Dennis Bauer)
Copyright 2017 Dennis Bauer
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Table of Contents
April 17, 1888
Mr. Wilton Badgely-Phipps
Vice President, Irregular Research and Logistics
Scientific Instrument Manufacturing Company
Mr. Buckminster Solo
SIMCo Biologics Institute
REPORT NO.: 00000001-01
EVENTS OF NOTE
Dear Mr. Badgely-Phipps;
Allow me to start by congratulating you on becoming SIMCo’s newest Vice President and head of our department. Consider this first report the beginning of what I’m sure will be many productive exchanges between your office in London and our newly-established division here on the Farsetland. I’ve no doubt that your advice and leadership, though remote, will prove invaluable as the staff and I continue to prepare this facility for the arrival of researchers and students.
As I’m sure you’ve been informed, there are a number of unique facets to our Shockley Hall operation. First, please note that I have been blessed with a most fantastical and convenient mode of transportation that requires neither horse nor wheel nor engine of any kind. Perhaps others have already informed you that I am able to will myself into the world-between-worlds and emerge, an instant later, at any distant location of my choosing. No matter how often I do it, it remains a curious sensation: My mind expands and I momentarily acquire awareness of the whole of creation—a broad awareness that soon refocuses on my desired destination and, in short order, I find myself there, exactly where I wish to be.
The origin of my remarkable gift is as unknown to me as it is to the handful of others I’ve met who share it. Speculation on this matter tends to drift into the realm of the mystic and often involves intercessions by the exalted and mysterious priests of the Valthemian order, instructed by their gods to relinquish some of their fabled supernatural abilities and enjoined to reconnect with their humanity. We’re told the priests accomplished this by trading with individuals they encountered who willingly exchanged large segments of their past for a chance to experience power divine. Was I a participant in one of their deals? Was the price for my amazing gifts some forsaken version of myself? I am only certain of the fact that I have no memories of my life before two years ago. If I willingly bargained away my old life for this new one, I can only imagine how drab and dreary it must have been.
I feel it is also important for you to note the unique character of the location chosen for the Biologics Institute. The city-state of Ephinburg is a place of great historical import, commercial significance and considerable strangeness. Predictably, perhaps, the city draws to it an oddish assortment of individuals who bring with them unique challenges and opportunities for the company. I offer the following account of a recent incident as an example.
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Fine dining, steampunk, death and sherry... with a smattering of Shakespeare thrown in for good measure. It all unfolds in the Victorian-era city of Ephinburg where Buckminster Solo - the teleporting, brown-nosing facilities manager of the SIMCo Biologics Institute - has a tale to tell: It involves a lost empire, an earthbound demigod and the relationship between espionage and coleslaw. If Mr. Solo isn't careful, it might also involve a brutal and quite fatal beating, or worse... a budget cut.