We spend our lives trying to be something we’re not… Why? Why try to be something else when inside you might be AWESOME!!! What I want to know though is: HOW AWESOME ARE YOU?
Take the simple test below. Pick an option from 1 to 5, then read the results that are even further below the stuff that’s above it to find out your result!!!
1_I’m not awesome… Not awesome in slightest.
2_I’m just me and I’m reasonably happy being just me. Claiming that I’m awesome is stretching the truth quite a bit.
3_ I'm just me and I'm happy being just me. Claiming that I'm awesome is stretching the truth a little bit.
4_I’m quite awesome. Perhaps not as awesome as I could be, but still… quite awesome nonetheless.
5_I’m AWESOME… No two ways about it. I’m the best of the best and I don’t care what anybody else thinks… I’m AWESOME… HELL YEAH!!!
Now read the number below that corresponds with the number you chose for your results (Haven’t I explained all this once already to you? You know, you really need to listen more!)
1_You miserable fucking turd… For God’s sake, take a look at yourself, crawling about the world feeling sorry for being the person you are… “I’m not awesome… Not awesome in slightest.” Well let me tell you something pal… YOU’RE NOT FUCKING WRONG!!! You sad slimy little shit!!! For fucks sake stand up for yourself. For once in your miserable little life grow a pair and man up(or woman up… Though in this case it’s probably best not to grow a pair!)… Pathetic twat!!!
2_Oh!!! You’re reasonably happy are you? Reasonably happy… Reasonably happy being a fuckwit!!! Well good for you… You fuckwit! You’re reasonably happy just strolling through life, keeping your head down while the rest up humanity spits on you. Still reasonably happy now are we fuckwit, now that I’ve pointed out just what you are? Well? Are you still reasonably happy? You…you… you probably are… Pathetic twat!!!
3_Yeah… I dig you. What was it you said again: “ I’m just me and I’m happy being just me. Claiming that I’m awesome is stretching the truth a little bit.” Yeah, I can dig that… Dig it like a dead man digging down into the shit filled hell’s of Satan! Or in other words, I don’t dig it!
And I certainly don’t dig YOU!!! I mean listen to yourself blathering on… “I’m happy being me, accept me for what I am!” Well I don’t fucking except you. The mere thought of you fills me with so much disgust that I’d rather sandpaper off my face than spend one second in your company… Fact is, I can see through your mask. See through to the pissy shitty freak in hiding… the grotesque fuckwittedness that lays beneath it… Pathetic twat!!!
4_What! You picked four! Of all the numbers to pick, and you picked four. Fuck me, this dick picked four…Ha ha… Jeez that’s funny. You think yourself “quite” awesome… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… You of all people think yourself “quite” awesome… Oh my God, I cannot take it… That’s just soooooo funny. This means that you’re the type of person who wakes up in the morning, looks in the mirror and winks at yourself thinking: “Not bad… not bad at all.”
Fuck off you TIT!!! Fuck off you… you… Pathetic twat!!!
5_Yes… Yes Yes YES… You picked it. You only went and picked it. That’s awesome dude. Truly awesome. Truly truly truly AWESOME!!! Awesome in a way that makes you the most AWESOME interplanetary ballbag to ever spread his or her fowl filth across this good clean earth.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??? Wasn't it obvious... Wasn't it as plain as the nose on your face that I was being sarcastic with this daft, stupid test? And yet you still went for the option that only the biggest loser would ever choose! There's an old saying that goes "You're no better than the rest of us"... but in your case that saying should be changed to "Your less better than the rest of us"... Awesome indeed... If you were to vanish tomorrow, I could use my arse to replace you and not a soul would know... Pathetic twat!!!