Copyright © 2014 Uncle Amon Books
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Larry was late getting back to the North Pole. He had decided to stay as long as he could and wait to see if Paul would be nicer to his sister Denise. Denise had apologized right after it happened, but Paul was very stubborn and he believed that he was right. The two Hunt children had been fighting like cats and dogs all year long.
In January Paul put chewing gum in his sister’s hair. Denise got Paul back in March when she put macaroni and cheese in all 3 pairs of her brother’s shoes.
In May Paul had strung all of Denise’s dolls on a branch of the old oak tree that grew in the Hunt’s backyard. Denise got the dolls out of the tree and put them all around Paul as he slept one night. Denise took a picture of Paul sleeping with the dolls and made posters for the last day of school.
The fall brought new drama to the Hunt household. Paul filled Denise’s closet with leaves and she was buried in leaves the next time she went to her closet. Denise had collected the leaves and glued them to her brother’s walls, floors, and bed. Larry the elf had been assigned to watch the Hunt children and he had spent the whole year worrying that he would have to send the black mark back to the North Pole. Larry knew that giving kids coal for Christmas was serious and he had never had to send a black mark in his entire 400 year career. “Come on, Paul it is almost Christmas Eve.” Larry said as he looked at the checklist in his hand.
Many areas were checked off for both kids. Paul and Denise were always kind to neighbors, they always did their chores, and both kids helped their parents take care of their grandmother who had just moved in to the Hunt house. If they could have just found a way to get along Larry could have finished his checklist.
Earlier in the day Larry had his feather quill inches from checking off the nice box for both kids when he heard the commotion. He looked in the window to see Paul with his sister in a headlock. “Stop this hurts!” Yelled Denise as Paul rubbed his hand through her hair, messing up her braid.
“Give me the remote,” Paul said as he tried to grab her hand while keeping his sister in his armpit. “I was watching that show.”
The two kids wrestled around until their parents broke them up. Denise apologized for turning the channel, but Paul didn’t think he had done anything wrong. “She started it.” Paul yelled and he folded his arms across his chest.
Paul sat in his room, arms still folded. Larry checked his golden pocket watch and he knew what he had to do. “Paul,” Larry said as he appeared in front of the boy. Paul screamed, fell to the floor and rolled under his bed. “I am Larry, I am one of Santa’s helpers, Investigation Unit. We have about three minutes, I need you to go apologize to your sister or you will be getting coal this year.”
Paul slowly made his way up from under the bed and tried to get a better look at the little man in the red and green suit. “I have been an elf for four centuries and I have never given a kid coal. You need to apologize to your sister and you need to mean it.”
“But I am not sorry, she started it.” Paul said as he sat back down on his bed. “She is always trying to push my buttons.”
“That is what sisters do,” Larry started, “And you my friend have pushed a few of Denise’s buttons as well.”
Larry glanced again at the time. “But here is the thing, you are in charge of your own actions. Just because it was wrong for her to change the channel, does not make it right to put her in a headlock.”
Larry could see his message getting through. “Two wrongs do not make a right. You both love each other and you are both good kids. You and Denise have to learn how to treat each other better.”
Paul stood up and moved towards the door and Larry grabbed his hand, “This is a onetime deal, next year I won’t hesitate to send the black mark.”
“Thank you, Larry,” said Paul as he went to apologize to his sister. Larry watched from Denise’s window and checked off the nice box for both kids just in time.
Billy lay in wait behind the walls of his snow fort in the front yard. The trap had been set. A snowball the size of a basketball was hanging over the doorway waiting for the next unsuspecting person to walk through the door. Billy really hoped that it would be his sister, June. She was always tattling on him and today he was going to give her something to tattle about. The ball was balancing on the screen door and Billy could see the knob turning. The big wooden door opened part way and then Billy heard his mother call “June, get back here,” the door closed.
“Someone has to come out eventually,” Billy thought to himself as he crouched behind the snow wall. He turned his eyes away from the door just in time to see a very short man with rosy cheeks a white beard and a red knit cat walk up and sit beside him.
“So what are you up to?” The strange little man asked. Billy tried not to look the man in the eyes as he lied about playing in his fort. He was trying very hard not to look at the giant snowball. “I saw you put that snowball on the door,” Billy froze as the words left the little man’s lips. “I know you are trying to prank your sister.”
“What snowball?” Billy asked, trying to sound innocent, but he knew that he was caught.
“Alright, here’s the deal.” The stranger began, “You go and take the snowball down and I won’t tell Santa about this little incident. I think we both know how this will look on your record.” Billy shook his head and he went to take the snowball down. He had only taken a few steps when he turned to say thank you to the little stranger, but the man was gone.
“Who was that man?” Billy wondered. “Could that have been Santa? Or an Elf?” Billy ran the rest of the way to the door and knocked the snowball down. He shoveled the snow out of the doorway and went inside to see if he could help with any chores.
Billy spent the few weeks leading up to Christmas on his best behavior. He was nice to his sister and he always did his chores. Billy’s run-in with the elf had really changed his attitude and he didn’t even mind helping out.
One night, only days before Christmas, Billy’s parents invited the neighbors over for a holiday party. All of their neighbors stopped by. Billy was helping get the table ready for the dinner when his Dad introduced him to their newest neighbor Mike Kringle. Billy was taken aback it was the little man from the snow fort. “Oh, no need for an introduction,” said Mr. Kringle, “We’re old friends.” Billy felt let down, he couldn’t believe that he had been tricked into being nice, but then he realized that he had actually had a lot of fun. He got in trouble less because of his attitude, Billy and his sister had never gotten along so well and helping out felt really good. The young boy smiled back at Mr. Kringle, “Yep, he really helped me out,” said Billy.
“Tim always gets better toys than I do!” Jon yelled as he slammed the door to his room. He had been arguing with his Mother all night about toys. It started when his mother asked him to pick out a few old toys that he didn’t play with any more to take to the downtown mission. Jon knew that he had toys that he hadn’t touched all year taking up space in the toy room. He had a Captain Adventure action figure that he hadn’t touched since he turned nine and a castle play set that he didn’t use. He knew there were toys he could find, but he didn’t want to give away any toys.
“There are children out in the world who have no toys to play with at all.” Mother said. It was the same thing she always said. She was always telling Jon and his brother about how lucky they were to have clothes, food, and toys.
Tonight when she said it Jon asked, “If I’m so lucky then why did I have to give any of my toys away?”
It didn’t seem very fair to him, these kids with nothing were not being asked to give anything away. On top of all of that, his brother just went and picked out toys and brought them to their mother in a box. “But Tim has way better toys than me,” Jon thought when he had looked through the box that his older brother had brought from the toy room.
Jon heard his Dad come home from work. Still very upset and not ready to have another fight, Jon buried his head in his pillow so that nobody could see his face. The muffled sounds of Jon’s parents talking were coming up through the floorboards. The little boy knew he was in trouble.
The creaking on the steps got Jon’s heart racing, the door flung open and his Dad said, “Grab your coat, we are heading out.” Jon’s Dad didn’t seem angry as he closed the door and went to go get changed. Jon got dressed and met his Dad in the garage. His Dad was wearing a ratty old t-shirt and jeans. It was a huge change from his usual suit and tie look. “It doesn’t matter what I look like where we are going.” Jon’s Dad said reading his son’s mind.
They drove to the downtown mission and Jon started to feel terrible that he hadn’t packed up any toys as his Dad passed Tim’s box of toys to one of the workers at the mission. “I am glad you guys could make it, dinner is almost ready.” The worker said.
Jon felt bad enough looking at all of the homeless people, of all ages that were crowded around the building. He was going to feel really guilty if they fed him too. Luckily for Jon he didn’t have to feel bad, because he and his Dad were helping to serve the soup. He ladled soup to each passing bowl and with every scoop, Jon felt better and better. He realized that giving is just as fun as receiving.
Luckily reindeer had a knack for getting presents to their destination. Roddy had been running most of the night with the present in his teeth and he was starting to get tired, but the need to deliver the gift drove him forward. The young reindeer had been wandering alone when he saw the present fall from the sleigh. He followed the present as it fell to the ground and he read the tag, “Julie Newman, Buffalo, NY.” Now don’t be foolish, reindeer cannot read unless they are looking at the tag of a Christmas gift. Once Roddy had tracked the gift down, he picked it up and started running.
It had been a very weird day for Roddy. It started out with flying practice. Roddy didn’t want to listen to his coach, he was off playing with an elf and not paying attention, and as Roddy ran his way across the snowy ground he really wished he had listened more in class.
After class he had gone home and his Mother was waiting for him at the cave opening. “Why didn’t you clean your room like I asked you to?”
Roddy had also gotten himself in trouble with Santa Claus. Christmas Eve is a very busy day in the North Pole and Santa had asked Roddy to help him secure the gift bag to the sleigh, but Roddy was daydreaming and not paying attention. Some elves came to help Santa, and Roddy had apologized after it all happened. The young reindeer could not help but wonder if the present had fallen because he had not helped secure the bag.
Roddy’s feet felt very heavy. He had watched as Santa’s sleigh had passed overhead. Those reindeer made delivering presents seem so easy. Roddy wanted to give up, but he knew he couldn’t let Julie down. Roddy charged on through the snow, racing through Canada on his way to Buffalo. He ran across the frozen waters of Hudson’s Bay and followed the Ottawa River to the Great Lakes. His hooves were burning as he travelled through the snow. Roddy ran straight across Lake Ontario and into Buffalo. “Now to find her house.” Roddy thought to himself.
Luckily for Roddy, reindeer have a sixth sense about these things and his nose became a homing beacon as it drew Roddy towards the house. As soon as he arrived at the address Santa pulled up on the roof. “You made it!” Santa bellowed to his young reindeer friend. “I knew that you would get the gift for Julie here on time.” Santa held out his hand and the present was magically pulled up through the air to where Santa was standing. “Thank you little reindeer,” said Santa, “But next time just listen when other’s speak and I won’t make you run so far.” Roddy saw that Santa was smiling. He learned his lesson and was very happy to help out!
“I think it was probably the gum I put in your hair,” Mike said to his little sister Beth. “I know it was back in March, but I am pretty sure they take the whole year into account. Beth started to think about what she might have done to deserve this. I mean if Santa was skipping their house altogether they both must have done something. She remembered the day that she nailed her brother’s shoes to the floor, all 8 pairs. That could have been the reason, and Beth could think of four or five other incidents that could explain why she and her brother were waiting to see if Santa would show at four o’clock in the morning.
“Maybe we fought too much?” Beth suggested, she remembered at least one fight a day for the entire year. Yesterday the fight was about socks and whether or not Beth was wearing a pair of Mike’s. The day before that they had been fighting about not going to school. Neither one of them was in favor of going to school, but they argued about whose excuse they should use.
They argued so much and so loudly they had no chance of convincing their parents that they were sick. “Or it could have been the lies that we always tell.” Beth offered up another suggestion. Her and her brother spent a lot of time lying to avoid getting in trouble or to get the other one in trouble. Both brother and sister knew that they had done many terrible things to the other one all year.
“Well,” Mike started, “I guess we should go to bed, Christmas is cancelled.” Beth started to wander off toward her bedroom. “Hold on sis,” Mike grabbed his sister by the hand. “Let’s make a promise right now that we are not going to do this again” The two siblings shook hands and then they hugged. It felt good to say those words out loud. The kids both went to bed and fell immediately to sleep. It was like the weight of the world was off of their shoulders. They could rest easy knowing that they were going to find a way to be nice to each other.
The next morning Mike and Beth woke up late and both walked slowly into the living room. They assumed that they didn’t have any presents from Santa, but they had to walk through that room on the way to the dining room. A sparkle caught Mike’s eye as he walked past the tree. He looked and saw them, two small presents were right underneath the tree. Mike stopped his sister and showed her the gifts. They sat down on the floor and Mike read his gift tag out loud, “To: Mike, it is never too late. From: Santa.” They wanted to rip the presents open and see what was inside, but they knew that they should wait for their parents. It was a small gesture, but a great start to their new year.
~ ~ ~
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Q: What was the monkey’s favorite Christmas song?
A: Jungle bells!
Q: Where does the snowman keep his money?
A: In the snow bank!
Q: Who delivers cat Christmas presents?
A: Santa Paws!
Q: What are Santa’s helpers taught at an early age?
A: The elf-abet!
Q: What game do reindeer play in their stalls?
Q: What do elf students do?
A: Gnome work!
Q: What can Santa give away and still keep?
A: A cold!
Q: Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws!
Q: How do you know when Santa Claus is near?
A: It’s easy to sense his presents!
Q: What songs do Santa’s gnomes sing to him when he comes home freezing on Christmas night?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!
Q: What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
Q: Did you hear about Dracula’s Christmas party?
A: It was a scream!
Q: Who sings “Love me tender,” and makes Christmas toys?
A: Santa’s little Elvis!
Q: What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas?
Q: What did the reindeer say to the linebacker?
A: No more Blitzen for you!
Q: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
A: Okay everyone, sack time!
Q: What do snowmen do on the weekend?
A: Chill out!
Q: How do cats greet each other at Christmas?
A: A furry merry Christmas and happy mew year!
Q: Did you hear that one of Santa’s reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?
A: It’s true. Comet cleans sinks!
Q: What’s fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels?
A: Santa on roller skates!
Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!
Q: Which bug does not like Christmas?
A: A humbug!
Q: Who brings the Christmas presents to police stations?
A: Santa Clues!
Q: Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?
A: He said it was too tight!
Q: What do you get when you cross a famous singer and one of Santa’s helpers?
A: Elfis Presley!
Q: What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has no el!
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem!
Q: Why does Santa go down chimneys?
A: Because they soot him!
Q: Why couldn’t the butterfly go to the Christmas ball?
A: It was a moth ball!
Q: Why couldn’t the Christmas tree stand up for itself?
A: It didn’t have legs!
Q: What did Dracula say at the Christmas party?
A: Fancy a bite?
Q: Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach?
A: Because he didn’t want to be recognized!
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish!
Q: What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Black mail!
Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: It is Christmas, Eve!
Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle!
Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A: A water puddle!
Q: What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?
A: Best vicious of the season!
Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!
Q: What happens to you at Christmas?
A: Yule be happy!
Q: How does Santa Claus take pictures?
A: With his North Pole-aroid!
Q: What did they call Santa after he lost his pants?
A: Saint Knickerless!
Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?
A: Looks like rein dear!
Q: What reindeer can jump higher than a house?
A: They all can! Houses can’t jump!
Q: Why is it so cold at Christmas?
A: Because it’s in Decembrrr!
Q: What do snowmen like most about school?
A: Snow and tell!
Q: What is the cow’s holiday greeting?
A: Mooooory Christmas!
Q: Who is never hungry at Christmas?
A: The turkey because he’s always stuffed!
Q: What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
A: Santa Claustrophobia!
Q: Why does Santa like to work in the garden?
A: Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!
Q: What’s Santa called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
A: Santa pause!
Q: What was the hairdresser’s favorite Christmas song?
A: Oh comb all ye faithful!
Q: What do you give a train driver for Christmas?
A: Platform shoes!
Q: Is it true that mummies love Christmas?
A: Yes! Because of all the wrapping!
Q: What’s Scrooge’s favorite Christmas game?
Q: What does Santa say when he is sick?
A: OH OH NO!
Q: Who delivers elephants Christmas presents?
A: Elephanta Claus!
Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A: A subordinate claus!
Q: What’s the best thing to put in a Christmas cake?
A: Your teeth!
Q: Which of Santa’s reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
Q: What do you get hanging from Santa’s roof?
A: Tired arms!
Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite Christmas entertainment?
A: A phantomime!
Q: What did the snowman say to his friend?
A: I think I smell carrots!
Q: What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?
A: The letter D!
Q: What do gnomes fear most about Christmas?
A: They’re afraid Santa will give them the sack!
Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
A: He had no body to go with!
Q: What Christmas carol do parents love the most?
A: Silent Night!
Q: Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
A: Because they both have sandy claws!
Q: How do you make a slow reindeer fast?
A: Don’t feed it!
Q: How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?
A: Chick to chick!
Q: What is the snowman’s favorite snack?
A: Ice crispies!
Q: What does Santa call that reindeer with no eyes?
Q: How many chimneys does Santa go down?
Can you find your way through the maze?
Can you find your way through the maze?
Can you find your way through the maze?
Can you find your way through the maze?
All rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction. No part of this book or this book as a whole may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form or means without written permission from the publisher.
Christmas Stories, Funny Jokes, and More! Merry Christmas! Your child will enjoy this cute Christmas book full of fun stories and Christmas jokes. This is an excellent read for early and beginning readers. Big and bright illustrations for younger readers! These stories are great for quick bedtime stories and cute tales to be read aloud with friends and family! -Excellent for early and beginning readers -Great for reading aloud with friends and family -Christmas stories and adventures about Christmas -Funny and Hilarious Christmas jokes & illustrations for kids This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. Story List & Activities: -Larry the Late Elf -The Snowball -The Gift of Giving -The Gift That Fell From Santa’s Sleigh -Where is Santa? -Christmas Jokes -Funny Christmas Jokes for Kids Q: What Christmas carol do parents love the most? A: Silent Night! Q: What did the snowman say to his friend? A: I think I smell carrots! Q: What are Santa’s helpers taught at an early age? A: The elf-abet! Q: What was the monkey’s favorite Christmas song? A: Jungle bells! Scroll up and click 'buy' and spend some quality time with your child!