Table of Contents
Make Your Mission Bigger Than Your Failures:
About David The Optimist
Chapter 1: Are You Feeling Stuck?
Chapter 2: Your First Step
Chapter 3: Don’t Do It Alone
Chapter 4: Define Your Purpose
How Can You Conclude?
I’ve been talking with friends, reading articles, following communities and forums.
People are not happy with their present situation and they want to change. But they don’t know where to start from.
Here are a few examples of people’s needs and expectations.
So, I’ve decided to create this guide and share my thoughts on how you can find a direction when there seems to be none.
[Keep learning and growing,
I’ve always thought that the way I connect with others is really important, that connection being essential in building trustworthy relationships. Therefore, I’ll try to build a remarkable relationship with you.
I believe in people. I believe people can achieve anything they set themselves and that’s why I encourage them to do whatever they like to do.
But sometimes, that’s just not enough …
It’s really cool to know what you like to do. But more important than that it’s how you help others with what you like to do. Otherwise, you will starve to death.
Having this idea in my mind helps me set relevant objectives not only to myself, but also to helping others.
I’m an optimist and I’ll always be. Actually, I may be the most optimistic person you’ll ever meet.
I believe that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. The trick is to learn how to connect your objectives to your visions about the world and the life that you want to live.
Between the beginning of 2015 and the end of 2016, I had the worst moment of my life. A nasty depression that made me lost almost everything. I lost relationships, money and, most importantly, I lost my sparkle.
At least… that’s what I was thinking.
The thing is that I’ve never lost anything that’s part of my core, as a human being. All the values, principles, skills were still there.
But I’ve had lost sight of it – of everything.
Suddenly, I didn’t know what to do. I had no vision, nor direction.
What happened next?
I started throwing some activities into my life to improve my lifestyle.
You may have been depressed, sad, lost or even traumatized.
There are moments in life when your positive world is replaced with some hellish universe. We’ve all been there. But none of us want to stay there.
If you’re going to a restaurant and their food taste really bad, will you be going there for the second time? I doubt it.
The difference is you know where the exit is in that restaurant. As well, you have alternatives – like going to another restaurant or buying a pretzel.
When it comes to depression, sadness or other negative emotions, it’s hard to find the exit and you don’t have any alternatives.
So, what do you do?
Either you reinvent yourself or you follow a few specific steps to help yourself.
Reinventing yourself is harder and it implies changing your life totally. If you still love some of the things that are present in your life, there’s no need to reinvent yourself. All you need to do is to start working.
Are you ready to put your life’s puzzle pieces back together?
Well, ready or not, here’s the first thing you may do wrong.
Let’s try a small exercise.
Read out loud the first 5 sentences at the beginning of the 1st chapter. Read them out loud, then come back at normal and keep reading the text from here.
So, go back at the beginning and do it.
Are you done? Great!
I bet that while you read out loud that piece of text, you didn’t have any thoughts in your mind.
Logically speaking, it means that your voice has a stronger resonance than your thoughts. Basically, I just pointed out why the next exercise is going to work so well.
Make a list with 5 negative thoughts that you’re experiencing.
After you’ve written than list, go ahead and write a positive alternative for each negative thought.
For example, if the negative thought is “I consider myself stupid because I failed the math exam” then its positive alternative would be “I consider myself smart because I managed to run a marathon”.
Replace “run a marathon” with anything you’ve done or you’re good at. Anything from writing to dancing or drawing is good!
What do you have to do next?
For the next 30 days, each day, stay in front of a mirror and repeat, out loud, the positive alternatives. Every morning after you wake up and every night before you go to sleep.
The more positive alternatives, the better you will start feeling.
Is it easy? Then I’ve got one more exercise for you.
All you have to do is to think out loud and record your thoughts – use a smartphone for it.
Make sure your thoughts are positive.
After you’ve got at least 5, write them down.
Now ask yourself “Which one do I consider the most important?”
After you’ve chosen it, set 5 steps to materialize that thought.
For example, if your positive thought is “I want to have more qualitative friends” then here are 5 steps that could work:
1.I make a list with all the qualitative friends I have right now
2.I find “elements” at them that could help me define what a qualitative friend really is
3.I make a list with places where I can go and find more qualitative friends based on the elements I’ve found before
4.I develop a method of approaching them
5.I actually go to those places and approach humans
This second exercises is really good when, although you’re thinking positive, you get stuck in your positive thoughts and don’t know what do to.
Right now, I’m able to make a difference between thinking and doing in my activities. Actually, when I’m writing this text I don’t stop and think about how this message impacts you.
That would mean that I have to stop doing and start thinking. This process will only appear when this eBook will be finished.
I recommend you to do the same.
Think only when it’s needed and keep working when work is needed to be done. You will procrastinate less and will be more efficient within your activities.
That’s how you’ll become practical.
The more you practice, the more you improve your skills.
The more you improve your skills, the more results you’ll notice.
The more results you’ll notice, the more confident you’ll become.
When we’re talking about self-confidence, we don’t report it to a fork or a smartphone. You are confident in using the fort to eat or the smartphone to check your email.
The self-confidence is directly connected to human interactions.
The more you interact with others, the more confident you’ll become in your own strengths.
There’s one thing that you’re not getting from the fork when you’re using it.
The fork is not judging you.
We are so afraid of being judged by others, we destroy our self-esteem and self-confidence because we choose to listen to them.
You would listen to your fork if you could do it. But … it’s just a fork – you don’t care about it.
Instead, you care about the people that are surrounding you – therefore you care about their opinions.
Sadly, you not only care, but you let your state of mind affected by others’ opinions.
You don’t lack directions. You just don’t see them anymore.
There was a time when you knew exactly what you had to do. But you were also listening to others and their ideas about what you have to do.
For a while, you took their advice and went their way. That’s where everything went wrong. That’s why you weren’t capable of seeing directions anymore.
Your directions disappeared because you listened to others too much.
Others’ advice isn’t helping you. You just think it’s helpful. But all it does is to get you far away from what you want to achieve.
The sensation of satisfaction from the advice of others appears when you don’t know what to do.
The guidance you’re looking for comes from a coach that knows how to make you ask yourself questions, in order to discover – ALL BY YOURSELF – what you want to achieve.
If I would need to find an equation for this, I would relate it to constructing the personal brand.
If I would have to generate a specific question, it would be “How to discover the words that will help you build a powerful personal brand?”
I’m insisting with the personal brand thing because you don’t want only to find a direction for yourself. Sharing it with the world will help as well. But I’ll talk about it in another chapter.
So, if we’re talking about the personal brand, we’re not just referring to words but also to actions and words.
Therefore, there are two situations that can help you generate your brand.
In my case, after I ran the first marathon, I told everyone about that experience. Because of that, in their minds a pixel has spawned and said “David ran a marathon”.
After that, I got involved as a volunteer in raising funds, running a half-marathon. In others’ minds another pixel has spawned and said “David ran at a charitable event.”
And after that, I ran a mountain ultra-marathon. In other’ minds the 3rd pixel has spawned and said “David ran a mountain ultra-marathon”.
Finally, I’ve noticed some words that could help me build a powerful personal brand related to running: run, marathon, charitable event.
Let’s say I didn’t run even one kilometer until now – but I would like to.
All I have to do is to create a training schedule and when I meet with my friends I have to share with them my plans. In that moment, a pixel spawns in their mind and says “David is training for a marathon”.
After I experience the marathon, I’m going back to the first situation where I have the action that will help me generate the words to describe the personal brand
Something that we all have appears – the desire.
Since I was a child, I wanted to learn how to play guitar.
Somewhere around the age of 20’s, I borrowed a friend’s guitar and tried to learn it. I discovered that I didn’t like it as much as I thought.
Since then, I’ve changed the musical instrument and started to think about a piano.
Knowing that I want to learn how to play piano since more than 5 years now, why it didn’t happen?
↓ KEY QUESTION ↓
Why the hell didn’t I pay attention to my desire of learning how to play piano until now?
↑ KEY QUESTION ↑
Asking myself a question like this helps me generate answers.
There’s a chance that I don’t have money to buy the piano. There’s another chance that once I buy the piano I will realize I don’t have enough space for it in my apartment.
This way, I identified two directions that I could take.
I could work harder and smarter in order to earn the money to buy the piano. And I could reorder the furniture in my apartment and make space for the piano.
As you can see, by answering the above key question I generated an action plan with two directions.
Then you’ll need to have something that’s vital – curiosity!
You’ll need to have the curiosity to experiment and experience as many things as you can. It will help you discover what are the things that you love and enjoy.
Simpler than this it can’t be. Be curious and discover things. Invest your energy in it.
Curiosity leads to desire.
Desire leads to the action plan.
The action plan leads to words. Use them to spread your message around the world.
Don’t know what to experience first?
Make a list with 20 activities that you can experiment and experience for 7 days in a row:
01. ___________________________ 02. ___________________________
03. ___________________________ 04. ___________________________
05. ___________________________ 06. ___________________________
07. ___________________________ 08. ___________________________
09. ___________________________ 10. ___________________________
11. ___________________________ 12. ___________________________
13. ___________________________ 14. ___________________________
15. ___________________________ 16. ___________________________
17. ___________________________ 18. ___________________________
19. ___________________________ 20. ___________________________
These activities can be dancing, painting, running, talking with strangers and so on.
If you would do something right now. If you would start right now. What would you do?
You may not have the answer right now, if you have just started reading this eBook like 30 minutes ago.
But you will have it right after you will start experiencing.
That’s why it’s important to do the previous exercises. They will help you and guide you towards your first valuable action step.
In the autumn of 2015, I ran a 64-km mountain ultra-marathon. It all started with 2-3 runs a week in 2010, each run not being longer than 2 kilometers.
So, no matter how small your first action step is, just go for it. At one point, if it really means something to you, it will turn into something bigger.
Go back to the last exercise.
You’ve had to make a list of 20 activities that you want to experiment.
After you will experience them all, pick only three – the ones you enjoyed the most.
In my life, right now, are three new activities that I’m experiencing and I’m really excited about them.
Dancing, meeting strangers, and traveling.
So, I have to set a mission for all of them.
01Mission. I want to dance until it becomes something natural for me. Eventually, I hope that I will be part of a dancing crew and dance on choreographies like the ones from “The Marshall Fitness” videos.
02. Meeting Strangers
02Mission. I want to meet strangers and learn more about the species that I’m part of. I hope that I can understand people better and, as well, understand myself better.
03Mission. I haven’t traveled that much until now, but I’m really curious about what’s on the other side. Right now I’m working on a crowdfunding project that will help me travel the Europe, meet strangers, and discover a practical formula for optimism.
So, these are my missions at this moment.
Maybe I’ll achieve them and have results, maybe I won’t. What’s more important than having results is actually doing something in my missions’ directions. Otherwise, nothing will happen.
Therefore, go ahead and pick the most enjoyable activities from your before list (with the condition that you’ve experienced them) and write them down. Set their missions as well.
Having a mission is like having an objective. But it’s not as specific as an objective.
Having a mission is also more valuable than an objective. An objective is part of a mission.
For example, if I want to meet strangers, an objective would sound like this: “I want to meet 30 strangers from Australia that can give me a powerful life advice related to optimism.”
While an objective gives you clarity, a mission gives you enthusiasm.
It’s better to have enthusiasm because it’s easier to generate the clarity.
Asking yourself ‘why?’, ‘how?’, ‘what?’, when?’ or ‘where?’ will give you clarity.
But in order to have enthusiasm, you need to have a purpose. A major goal that triumphs everything else that’s prior in your life.
I told you before about my crowdfunding project. I’m dreaming about it daily!
I’ve started working on it like three weeks ago and since then I’m always thinking about it. I’m thinking about how I can improve it, how can I do it better and more efficiently. And I’m excited as fuck!
On 7th of May 2017, it will be up on Indiegogo and it will run for two months. If you’re reading this after 7th of May, search for “The Journey Of An Optimist” on Indiegogo and you’ll find my crowdfunding project.
Being able to dream about your mission is an indicator.
If you’re able to daily dream about your mission, it means you’ve chosen the right mission.
Right now, for me it’s really important to discover a practical formula of optimism. It’s so powerful, it represents a purpose.
If it wouldn’t be so powerful, I wouldn’t think about it that much, and probably wouldn’t have even started it.
This is a little trick I’ve learned along the way.
If you connect your mission to a passion of yours, it will be easier for you to achieve your mission. Simply because the objectives connected to your mission are much likely to be achieved – they’re related to something you like doing.
Otherwise, if you’re mission is not connected to a passion of yours, you won’t find any satisfaction in your adventure.
Actually, you won’t have to make anything.
If your mission is powerful enough, you won’t care anymore about your failures.
For instance, take my example.
My native language is not English – it’s Romanian.
I hated school and because I had a teacher who couldn’t care less about her students, I didn’t learn English.
Therefore, I had to learn it by myself. So I started reading and writing in English.
At first, I was asking a friend to proofread my text and explain to me why I was wrong. Later, I went to a private teacher for a few months to improve my grammar.
In the meantime, I was working with different clients and writing for them various texts. I lost more than half of them because my grammar was really bad.
Fast forward to the present moment, I’m able to speak English clearly. When I’m writing something that I consider really important – like a book – I give it to a friend to proofread it for the second time.
If I would have stopped when my clients said to me that I have too many grammar mistakes and they can’t work with me, I would have failed.
Stopping is the only failure I know. Others are just obstacles.
Learning English was just a step toward my mission. It was never the mission.
It doesn’t matter if you choose to run a marathon or learn how to dance tango.
Yes, you will be able to do it alone, but it will be ten times harder. But why do it alone when you can ask for help?
Where can you find people who can help you?
You can start by searching them in your town or you can go on Reddit, create a post and tell the world what you’re looking for.
When it comes to practical things (like painting or dancing) you can search for courses or events that are happening where you live.
But what do you do when you want to learn marketing or a new programming language and you need to brainstorm with someone about it?
You embrace the concept of mastermind.
Here’s an article I wrote at the beginning of 2017 and I think it’s perfect for this chapter.
Posted on January 13, 2017 by David The Optimist
I’ve always wanted to learn more and to develop myself more. But, at the same time, I’ve always thought that learning is an individual process. Therefore, when I was learning something, I was doing it by myself.
I quit school two times because of its bad system and promised myself I’ll never go back. I quit my (first) 4-months job because I didn’t fit in a place where people were lazy, mean, and kinda dumb and promised myself I’ll never be employed again.
So, I’ve always been an ONE-person team. Since I discovered masterminds. Because that was the moment when I started to realize how great it can be to learn things with someone else.
It was the summer of 2016 and I wanted to change some things at my mindset and also improve my skills. Especially, my marketing skills.
I didn’t know where to start but I had this mentor that was guiding me. After talking a bit with him and ask for some guidance he says: “Hey, David. It happens that I know a guy that’s at the same level as you are. Don’t you wanna have some Skype meetings with him and grow together?”
I was a little bit skeptical, but I went for it. What could go wrong?
My mentor asks the other person if he would be interested in the same thing and he agrees. The funny thing is that I happen to interact with that person before, when I searched for blogs where I could write guest-posts.
Therefore, we exchanged some ideas and we established some important notes about how this “thing” should go on. Because we didn’t know how a mastermind should be. We just liked the idea of a mastermind.
Every Tuesday, at 10:00, we have our Skype call. We both live in the same country, but different cities. We never saw each other, but only through our webcams.
At every mastermind session, we have 5 topics that we discuss:
/1 One thing about ourselves;
We both say one thing about ourselves in order to know each other better and to connect better.
/2 What are we working at;
We both say what are we working in the next week. This helps us to keep track of our own tasks.
/3 What we’ve learned in the last week;
It helps us to learn from each other mistakes.
/4 Where do we need help;
This is only about feedback and brainstorming – never about doing work for the other person.
/5 Weekly/monthly exercises;
Here are two types of exercises: one that we establish with one week in advance; a second one that we establish one month in advance.
Every week we set an exercise that we both have to do for the next week. It’s something that concerns at least one of us and it’s around marketing. Here is some stuff about we talked about until now: e-mail marketing, how to write better, how to grow a community, how to sell better, and so on.
But once a month we are talking about something else.
Once a month we are talking about a book that we both agree on reading. After we read the book, we share ideas and conclusions. It’s amazing – like having two brains instead of one. Pure brainstorming! Pure learning!
We also read something on the mastermind topic too.
We were looking to find more information about how a mastermind session should be structured and how we could get as much as we can from this activity.
After we did some research, we didn’t found any qualitative book about mastermind and how to do it in order to get something specific. The book we read is called Mastermind Dinners: Build Lifelong Relationships by Connecting Experts, Influencers, and Linchpins and it’s more about how to connect with people.
If you know a well-written book on mastermind sessions that tells more about what I’ve shared with you in this article, please share it with me in the comments section below.
If you are a millionaire entrepreneur, then you may want a different kind of mastermind, where you surround yourself with people that are at your level.
But me? I’m making my first steps in the world of entrepreneurs and maybe I can’t afford to be part of that type of mastermind.
So, it brings up this powerful question: how do I find people that are at the same as level I am?
Here are few steps:
/1 Create your “letter of proposal”
Think about why you want to be part of a mastermind and how do you want the sessions to be structured. You can use my model if it fits your needs.
In my example, I wanted to learn more about marketing. So, here’s a letter of proposal that I would develop:
My name is David from davidmitran.com and I’m interested in finding people that are looking to learn more about marketing, especially email marketing and copywriting.
If you want to be part of this, here’s a structure that I’ve been thinking about in the last weeks that would fit my needs (and maybe yours):
[INSERT STRUCTURE HERE]
If you think this is a cool thing to do, reply to this email and tell me your thoughts.
Thanks for taking the time of reading this.
Have an amazing day,
Also, you can include your interests in the field that you are willing to learn more (email marketing is the above example) and your passions. This way, the person you are contacting will know a little bit more about yourself and will be able to connect at a deeper level with you.
/2 How to find the right people
Well, first of all, you need to look into your list.
Yes, I know you have your own list of people that you’re following. Maybe it’s a blogger that you like how he writes or the topics he covers. Maybe it’s a social entrepreneur that is helping his local community.
Contact them with your proposal.
Second, you should start thinking about big communities, like Reddit, Quora or Pinterest. There are lots of small groups of people that are willing to learn more. You can find there the right people.
/3 The Internet is not everything
If you are that type of person that is going to conferences or workshops, then you should keep your eyes wide open for people like you.
In this type of situation, you already have something in common with the people that are attending the same event. And that’s in the name of the event.
If the conference is about building paper planes, then you know you will find people interested in building paper planes at that event. And you can start from there.
If you are thinking about starting your own mastermind group, then there’s one thing that you should definitely avoid.
I’ve tried (and still trying) to implement the same above structure in a group of bloggers. This group has 5 to 10 active bloggers that are always showing up at meetings. Yes, we are doing the mastermind sessions offline because we are all from the same city.
But because they have different interests (and they are also kinda lazy) I’m not able to find the right structure that could work with this many people. It’s really hard to find 3 people that have the exact same interests, but what should I expect from 5 or more.
This idea was validated recently when I started another group (again with only one other person) and, at first, I wanted to add this person to the first group. But I’m glad I didn’t.
This time I only set the fact that I wanted to learn more – not from a specific domain, but in general. If I would add this new person to the first group, then I would’ve messed up some things. Because now, in this new group, instead of focusing on internet marketing, I’m focusing on personal and spiritual growth.
•Start your mastermind group if you want to learn more, but not only by yourself;
•Don’t search to invest money in a mastermind group, but invest time in searching the right people for this activity;
•Create yourself a structure and a letter of proposal, in order to know what you have to do and to anchor people to your mastermind sessions;
•Avoid creating mastermind groups of more than two people (you and someone else) because it’s hard to find people with exactly the same interests.
What you want to achieve + how you can help others with what you want to achieve = your purpose.
This is an equation I’ve discovered through various personal experiences.
It’s not enough to know what you want to achieve. What’s as important as that is how you help others with what you achieve.
So, there are two questions.
You want to become a bestselling author. You want to be able to run 100 kilometers without stopping. You want to have your own dance crew and reach 1.000.000 subscribers on YouTube.
Just pick something.
Whatever you want to achieve, make sure you have the desire to teach or help others.
These are two questions that I’m asking myself monthly.
The process of asking and answering them is helping me discover myself. By doing this I’m closer to knowing everything about myself – but that will never happen.
People are always changing – you are always changing.
By continuously asking these two questions you’re becoming conscious. You’re realizing what you want to do and how you can help others.
There’s no doubt! For sure you can help others. But first, you need to realize it. That’s the purpose of these questions.
So, when you know what you want to achieve and you’ve figured out how you can help others, you’ve got yourself a purpose.
But, usually, a purpose is something big – even bigger than yourself. And it may scare you.
Let’s take the dance crew and YouTube example.
Purpose: What to achieve – having a dance crew of 4 members and reaching over 1.000.000 subscribers on YouTube. How to help others – teaching over 100.000 people how to dance.
Well, there are some huge numbers.
But you can break them down into projects and sub-projects.
There are three big projects:
The first project: having a dance crew of 4 members.
Break it down into sub-projects like:
-Having a dance crew of 2 members
-Having a dance crew of 3 members
-Having a dance crew of 4 members
The second project: reaching over 1.000.000 YouTube subscribers.
Break it down into sub-projects like:
-Reaching the first 1.000 YouTube subscribers
-Reaching the first 5.000 YouTube subscribers
-Reaching the first 10.000 YouTube subscribers
-Reaching the first 20.000 YouTube subscribers
-Reaching the first 50.000 YouTube subscribers
-Reaching the first 100.000 YouTube subscribers
-And so on
The third project – teaching over 100.000 people how to dance
Break it down into sub-projects like:
-I think you’ve got the idea.
Also, you can set milestones that connect the subprojects. Milestones like after having a dance crew of 2 members, I’ll focus more on reaching the first 10.000 YouTube subscribers.
And that’s it. As simple as that.
Hello dear friend,
Thank you for downloading this eBook. I really appreciate your support – it makes me work a little bit harder every day.
I really hope this eBook is valuable to you. While writing it, I focused my words on helping you clarify your thoughts regarding the first steps you have to make if you want to change anything at you or your lifestyle.
If you want to share your thoughts with me or have any questions, please hit me up on [email protected].
If you enjoyed this eBook, I’d love it if you’d share it with a few of your friends.
If someone forwarded this to you, or if you haven’t already, I invite you to subscribe to my blog – it’s totally free – at DavidTheOptimist.com/subscribe. I’ll send you exclusive content and the latest updates. I’ll never spam you.
[Keep learning and growing,
I’m an optimist and I’ll always be. Actually, I may be the most optimistic person you’ll ever meet. I believe that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. The trick is to learn how to connect your objectives to your visions about the world and the life that you want to live. Between the beginning of 2015 and the end of 2016, I had the worst moment of my life. A nasty depression that made me lost almost everything. I lost relationships, money and, most importantly, I lost my sparkle. At least… that’s what I was thinking. The thing is that I’ve never lost anything that’s part of my core, as a human being. All the values, principles, skills were still there. But I’ve had lost sight of it – of everything. Suddenly, I didn’t know what to do. I had no vision, nor direction. What happened next? I started throwing some activities into my life to improve my lifestyle.