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Make Your Marriage Hot: Improve Your Marriage with Science




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Be the Best Online Bitch

Behind the Kindle

Bitch, Stop That!

Does He Like Me?

Escape From Human Resources

How Do You Find a Man?

How to Find a Boyfriend in New York City

Stop His Vanishing Act

Step 1

Make It Hot

Three Steps in Six Weeks

Weighty Matters

Aside: Exercise Talk

The Style Inventory

Aside: Strength

Showing Skin

When Your Husband Changes

Aside: Eyewear


Author’s Note


Why I Do This


The Power of Marriage

Engaged and Newlywed

Men and Beauty

Beauty Has Power

The Cave Man

The Modern Man

Use Evolution to Transform Him

A Note for the Non-Married

A Suggestion


Step 2

Polish, Buff, and Shine

It’s Working: Lots of Desserts

Begin the Polishing

The Toxic Husband

Aside: Is He Powerful?


Step 3

Keep It Hot

Aside: A Dilemma


Aside: The Right Choice

It’s Working: Jealousy

Be Newsworthy

A Parting Note



  • *

I’m going to share a three-step plan with you. My goal is to help you improve your marriage and make it hotter. In particular, I want to focus on your husband’s sex appeal. To show you ways you can get him to lose weight and get healthier. Best of all, you won’t have to say a single word to him to get him to change.

The information in these pages is based on science, not fads or fashion. These techniques are grounded in the science of Evolutionary Psychology. So, they’re proven. In fact, all of the changes that happen to your husband will be due to his evolutionary mind set.

But before we begin, I want to describe a paradox. The way to get your husband to lose weight, paradoxically, requires you. It involves you. Studies have shown that men in married couples respond to the biological behavior cues of their spouses. In particular, men make positive improvements based on the “biological styles” of their wives. Men focus on these cues and react accordingly.

As a result, this book focuses on you. On your style and behaviors. And how they can make your marriage hotter. Because they cause your husband to change. That may sound like a roundabout way to solve a problem, but it’s not. It’s been proven evolutionarily. This book is not a style or makeover book. It’s a plan for turning up the attraction between you and your spouse.

This chapter, our first step, is about identifying your style assets. In STEP TWO, we’ll talk about ways to use your style to influence his behavior. And in STEP THREE, you’ll learn some ways to make his transformation permanent.

Along the way, we’ll make some pit stops. I have some shortcuts that may help you speed up his transformation. And I’ll include a few of my signature “Asides” with some other facts you may find useful.

We’ll be leaning on lessons from biology and evolutionary psychology to improve your marriage. Best of all, the science behind these methods is based on thousands of years of human evolution. So, it’s solid.

And, you can rest easy. We won’t be manipulating, nagging, or lying to your husband. We’ll simply be allowing his natural evolutionary behavior to kick in.

Three Steps in Six Weeks

This plan was designed for you to follow over the course of six weeks. Ideally, you should spend two weeks on each step; however, it’s OK if you want to spend more time per step.

Prior to the book’s release, I shared these techniques with several married women. Some of them preferred to lengthen the plan, taking longer than six weeks to complete it. So, you can extend the amount of time you spend on it. But, don’t shorten it. Stick with the six-week schedule, at a minimum.

Each step includes a list of principles or activities to focus on. When you adhere to these principles/activities, you’ll be keeping the “pressure” on your husband to change. And although the plan is designed to bring you results at the end of six weeks, watch him closely. You may see improvements a lot sooner.

Important: Please don’t modify your behavior, diet, fitness, or health routines without first consulting with a doctor.

Here’s a rundown of STEP ONE and your first two weeks.

  • Weighty Matters*

You already know how to eat healthy and stay fit. There are millions of books that cover these subjects in detail. You know which foods are good for you and which ones pour on the pounds. Likewise, you know the types of fitness activities you enjoy and which ones are good for your body. Since you’re wise in the ways of diet and exercise, I won’t cover that here

For our work, however, there is an interesting wrinkle. You see, there is only one result of your diet and exercise program that has an affect on your husband’s desire to get hot. And that result is your weight.

Your weight has a direct impact on your husband’s desire to stay slim. So, do some cardio to stay trim. Then, get as close as you can to your target weight. If you don’t know what your ideal weight range is, Google “female body mass index” or “female BMI.” Your search results will give you a weight range based on your age and height.

If you’re thin already, you’re lucky. And, as you can imagine, you don’t have to work out as much for weight control. The reason is obvious—your genetics.

Your husband wants you to exercise for your overall health and well being. He wants you fit so you can enjoy your weekend hikes, jogs, and other fitness activities with him. But in his mind, anything beyond staying slim and strong is overkill.

Just as you get your teeth cleaned and see your doctor, a regular exercise routine should be part of your life. There are many benefits of fitness besides weight loss: stress reduction, cardiovascular health, cancer prevention, and improvements in mental health/function. But if you’re thin already, you don’t need to spend more time in the gym—for our purposes.


Exercise Talk

[_From now on, don’t say anything to your husband on the subject of his weight, diet, or fitness. All of the discussion of these topics is water under the bridge. _]

The power of making your marriage hot will come from your actions. There is no utility in continuing a conversation on these subjects. If he brings up the subject, address it gently and move on.

If he persists, you can say, “Of course I want you to be happy and healthy, sweetheart.” That should do the trick. And don’t invite him out for a run, to go the gym, or do any other fitness activities with you. Let him change on his own.

The Style Inventory

This is a fun exercise, but a little crude. You need to take a style inventory. A physical inventory of yourself. What makes you hot? What do the boys like about you? Do you have hot legs? A great butt? Gorgeous hair? A sexy smile?

Identify your Top 5 beauty assets below. Why? Because identifying your best assets is the first step in getting your husband to change. We’ll talk about how to use your beauty assets a little bit later. But for now, take an inventory of your beautiful self.

My Top 5 Beauty Assets:

1) _____________________________ 2) _____________________________ 3) _____________________________ 4) _____________________________ 5) _____________________________

Got your list? Good. Identifying and accentuating your beauty assets is an important part of getting him to change.

[*Aside: *]

*Strength *

_Your husband doesn’t care about your strength. Your upper body and leg strength matter very little to him. As long as you can do physical activities with him, he’s good. So, skip the shoulder press, leg work, bench press, and dumbbells. He doesn’t need you to have arms like Michelle Obama. Michele Obama’s beautiful, but as long as you’re trim and can lift a heavy box, he’s happy. _]

Showing Skin

Showing skin is an easy way to turn up your sex appeal. And it takes no work. Just wear less clothing. Your face, neck, arms, back, stomach, and legs contain a plethora of erogenous zones that drive guys crazy. Guys go particularly wild for any part of the neck and shoulder, cleavage (of course), wrists, the inside of the arms, hands, hips, and thighs.

And yes, your husband has his favorite “parts” of you, but his favorites don’t matter right now. Just select your favorite areas and show them off. The only real exception to the rule of showing more skin is if you have a problem area. So, if you have flabby arms or another area that you don’t like, just display the skin in the areas you do.

When Your Husband Changes

Your husband is going to change. Whether it’s week one or week six, you’re going to notice a transformation. But you have to be very careful when he starts changing. Why? Because you don’t want to spook him. So, don’t over-praise him like a puppy dog. And don’t ignore his efforts. The key here is balance.

So, when you’ve noticed him make an effort to improve himself, give him a compliment. Smile at him and tell him how proud you are of him. Don’t say, [_“See! I told you you’d feel better if you went jogging!” _] Just stick with your three-step plan. As long as you stay on track, he’ll continue making changes.



[_Another easy way to turn up your sex appeal is to ditch your glasses. Why? As you’ll learn later, men are biologically driven to change for pretty women. In particular, for women of high reproductive health. As part of this plan, you will be copying the behavior of these women. And these women don’t wear glasses. _]

_“But glasses can be hot!”, you may say. OR, “Tina Fey wears glasses and she’s sexy.” OR, “I just bought a new pair of frames and they are super feminine and sexy!” _]

Your new glasses may be cool, even funky. But they are not sexy. The only time glasses are sexy is during the “sexy librarian” fantasy that every heterosexual man has. And even then, the librarian’s glasses are removed (along with the rest of her clothing) before the good stuff happens.]

My recommendation? See your eye doctor and get some contacts. Even the squeamish can learn to use contacts without trouble. And if you’re over 40, they have bi-focal and tri-focal contacts that work well. You’ll look sexier instantly.

[_Don’t forget to place your order for contacts pronto, since they take awhile to order. You’ll want them in hand as you proceed to the next step in making your marriage hot. (BTW, love Tina Fey.) _]

Priorities for Weeks One and Two

• Eat Right and Workout
• Skip the Weights
• Identify Your Best Features
• Show More Skin
• Compliment Your Husband as He Changes
• Choose “Contacts” Over Glasses






ome of the pages at the beginning of the book were moved here to allow for a larger Amazon Look Inside! preview. Apologies for any confusion. The Foreword is next, followed by the Introduction, and then the rest of the book.


m a hopeless romantic. I’m a fan of love. And I believe in marriage. 100%. For the right couples, there’s nothing better. My perspective is unique because, well, I’m divorced. As a former member of the club, I enjoyed the benefits of being married. And I faced its many challenges.

“What does this have to do with making my marriage hot,” you say? Let me explain.

In my former marriage, I’m the one who ended the relationship and filed for divorce. After nearly a decade together, I realized our union was dysfunctional. Our marital problems were systemic. We tried counseling, but had little to show from our years of therapy.

But after our divorce, something happened. I figured out the answers to many of the problems that plagued us. In time, I sought counseling and learned more about myself. Over a period of years, I emerged stronger and gained a new perspective.

I had an epiphany after that. I realized that I wanted to help women create and maintain successful relationships. As a divorced man, I felt like I had a unique perspective even among the many “relationship experts.” And that was years ago when I first started writing.

Why I Do This

I believe that marriage can be easier. I believe that every woman deserves a hot marriage. And, I believe that falling in love is a human right. This is what I believe.

I’m an introvert by nature—a quiet person who loves people. I spend my off-hours watching human behavior and male-female interaction. Not in a creepy way. But, in a respectful way. I try to learn from it because I’m curious. These small psychological and behavioral nuances interest me. I spend months watching and cataloguing these behaviors until I observe something unique. Then, I write.

Next, I work with artists and designers. These are creative people that I admire. Together, we create book designs and book covers that capture my romantic imagination. The result is short books with practical steps you can use.

This is why I write.


y picking up this book, you’ve shown that you care about your marriage. You want your husband to stay fit and sexy. For himself, for you, and for your marriage. Remember, the physical bond is part of your marriage. There’s nothing trivial about it. When you increase the attraction between you two, it improves your union.

The Power of Marriage

The loving bond between a husband and wife is all-powerful. And the benefits of saying “[_I Do” _]are proven. The science backs me up on this. Across all cultures, marriage shows demonstrable benefits. The betrothed live longer, happier, and healthier lives.

And then there’s the sex.

Married couples are bonking—a lot. At a much higher rate than their single friends. TV and movies love to portray married people in sexless unions. But for the most part, this is fiction. Sure, sexless marriages exist. But they are at one end of the bell curve. The majority of married people love to do the mattress mambo. The research bares (ahem) this out time and again.

But forget the data. Let’s talk about you.

You married for love. Not because marriage is the cultural norm. Not because wedding jewelry looks cool.[_ ]And not because you read a gushing cover story about it in _Heterosexual Monthly.

You grabbed your man and walked down the aisle for tangible reasons. You loved him. You probably knew other married couples that were happy. Maybe your parents had a union you admired. And you knew something that many others didn’t. Marriage can be great.

You and your husband probably look at other marrieds. You judge them. I’m not criticizing you. It’s natural to judge. You probably look at other couples and evaluate their unions. You watch them and divine what’s working. Then, you look at your own coupling and try to improve it. That’s smart.

When marriage brings love, it’s expected. When it brings security, it’s understood. But when it brings friendship, it’s beautiful. The joining of two people can be poetic. It’s no wonder we celebrate. But, I’m preaching to the choir. You’re already a fan.

* Engaged and Newlywed*

Think back to when you were engaged. Your fiancé was so handsome. Back then, he was probably more handsome. Your attraction to him was stronger. He was more stylish and fit. It’s only natural that your physical bond was deeper.

Then, as your wedding date approached, you tuned out the stereotypes. You’d seen them hundreds of times before. Husbands portrayed as dumb, fat, or lazy. Sitting in their boxer shorts, drinking beer, and watching TV. Laughable clichés. You may have even heard chatter in your social circle. Some women may have told you that your fiancé was going to get fat after the vows.

After you got married, you and your hubby did change. But most of the changes were good. You were both more comfortable and more in sync. You were happier and more secure. But there were some changes you didn’t like.

Maybe your husband stopped wearing nice suits and dress shirts. Or, he grew fond of baggy jeans and sneakers. Maybe he gained a little weight. Maybe [_more _]than a little weight. But you loved him anyway. Yet, there was always a part of you that thought back to your wedding day. And how great he used to look.

* Men and Female Beauty*

Did you know that men physically change in the presence of beautiful women? Guys actually transform their bodies when pretty girls are around. Subconsciously, they suck in their guts, puff out their chests, and walk more erect. They do this to be attractive to these women.

During courtship, men also change. And the prettier a man’s fiancée is compared to him, the more dramatically he changes. These men may take up rigorous fitness regimens, focus on their careers, or give themselves fashion overhauls.

A man who is engaged to a beauty may start marathon training. He may spend his off-hours not cavorting with the boys, but by pounding the pavement in two-hour runs, twice a day. A guy who loves his career may redouble his efforts at the office. He may put in night and weekend hours just to impress the boss and try for that VP spot. Another man in a happy courtship, may take a sudden interest in expensive men’s wear. Without any previous interest in fashion, he may choose to spend his money on custom suits, imported silk ties, and European shoes. Just to look hot.

These male behaviors make sense because of a lesson from Evolutionary Psychology: Heterosexual men make predictable changes in behavior in direct response to the beauty of their female partners.

The men in the above examples are subconsciously showing their partners that they are ideal mates. That they (these men) are alpha males who are worthy. That they are worthy of their partners’ high reproductive health and that they are worthy of commitment.

Displays of fitness and earning potential are ways that men demonstrate their ability to protect and provide. These predictable responses to female beauty are encoded in male DNA and are the result of thousands of years of evolution.

You probably know of guys who have made these kinds of changes from your social circle or from the movies. You may have a friend whose fiancé just landed a promotion. And lately, she’s been telling you how dedicated he is, spending all of his spare time at the office. And Hollywood is chockablock with tales of men who make dramatic improvements just to “get the girl.”

Need more proof? Watch a man improve himself instantly. Just utter this one sentence to him: Kate Upton is coming over to see you.

* Beauty Has Power*

The lesson to divine is that female beauty has great power. An unbelievable power to get men to change. Did you ever wonder why men are so smitten by female beauty? It’s not just big boobs and long legs that get their loins stirring. It’s what the physical is saying.

A beautiful woman telegraphs high reproductive health. Her thick, long hair, clear skin, youthful gait, straight teeth, symmetrical features, high cheekbones, pert breasts, and long legs say, I’m perfect for making babies! Men are drawn to these women because they’re the best for mating.

And just like the beauties, you can get your husband to change. You have a special power over him. And that power is your style, sensuality, and beauty. Your behavior and physical looks can drive him to change. This isn’t a sexist or anti-feminist statement. It’s a biological fact, grounded in science. But don’t misunderstand me. [_I’m not saying that your beauty determines your worth. _]

Thousands of years of evolutionary programming have shaped your husband. And it has influenced how he behaves. You’ll gain a keen insight into why he behaves the way he does by acknowledging this. Your husband is like 99.9% of heterosexual men. He will respond in a predictable way to female beauty. The Cave Man

The human brain has nearly tripled in size since our ancestors touched terra firma. And the brain hasn’t just grown, it’s added new structures. Scientists call these physical changes, adaptations. These are changes in the physical makeup of the brain that result in behavioral change. And the male brain, in particular, has changed with regard to mate selection and competition.

Let’s go back to cave man times for a quick analogy.

Once upon a time, there was a caveman leader named Grog. Grog’s only goals were to survive and reproduce. As the leader of his tribe, he had his choice of healthy, attractive females. These were women of high reproductive health who Grog mated with regularly.

The women who mated with Grog were generally happy. After all, he was a powerful leader who protected his tribe and provided for his harem and offspring. And since he was the leader, women competed for his attention.

But every day in Grog’s life was a brutal struggle for survival. There were human and animal predators. There was disease, famine, and war. Grog survived through aggression and violence. On the upside, his alpha status ensured that he mated with women of high reproductive health (pretty women). On the downside, his stress level was high. He had to maintain his dominance or risk losing his power and his harem.

Remember, lawlessness was the norm in prehistoric times. Men would attack and kill each other over mates, property, resources, and tribal issues. When there were disputes, they were quickly solved with violence. And to the survivor went the spoils: power, status, land, food, resources, and women. Diplomacy was the end of a club.

The Modern Man

Now, fast-forward to modern times. Violence is far removed from the world of the modern man. Except for war, our culture doesn’t condone violence. Men don’t express themselves by beating each other to a pulp (usually). So, men compete in acceptable ways to survive and reproduce.

The modern man knows how to survive and reproduce. In particular, he knows what will attract women of high reproductive health (i.e. pretty women). He knows he’ll be successful with them if he earns a lot of money, becomes powerful, or is very good looking. Few men attain celebrity, but those who do can create an unparalleled desire in women.

When a man attains all of these traits, it creates a trifecta of high desirability: wealth/power, looks, and celebrity. These are the big turn-ons for most women. Less than 1% of men will attain all three traits. And most men will never acquire any.

The modern man strives for these traits to survive and reproduce. He can’t be like Grog and use violence. So, he survives and reproduces in an acceptable way. He works hard to acquire these traits of desirability in order survive. In order to reproduce with these pretty women. And when a man attains and then loses one of these traits? He will grow despondent. Why? Because he knows he has lost some of his ability to survive and reproduce.

Use Evolution to Transform Him

The cave man and the modern man are important in understanding your husband. Both types of men explain why your man behaves the way he does in your marriage. Even though thousands of years separate Grog from the modern man, you can see striking similarities in both archetypes.

Both types of men seek key male traits of desirability in order to survive and reproduce. And both types of men know that they must modify their behavior in order to be attractive to women of high reproductive health (i.e. pretty girls).

Evolutionary Psychology is the name of the science that explains much of your husband’s behavior. Evolutionary Psychology or “EP” is a respected field of science that explains how biology affects human behavior. The aspect of EP we will draw on has to do with these predictable male responses to female beauty.

As in the previous chapter, STEP ONE, you’ll learn how to “trick” your husband’s mind into thinking he is going to lose you to a caveman like “Grog” or the next alpha male that comes along. (I know this sounds cruel, but we’ll be gentle.) You’ll learn to turn up your sex appeal to mimic women of high reproductive health. When you do, your husband will change. He will probably start working out, getting fit, and looking hot.

Remember, your husband has an evolutionary desire to compete for female beauty. His desire to look good for pretty women doesn’t change. So, by increasing your own beauty, you will cause his transformation. He may start working out, slimming down, and dressing better. He may even try for that promotion at work to earn more money. The irony is that he doesn’t “need” to compete for you. You’ve already got his ring on your finger!

Here’s the big takeaway: Identify and improve your style and beauty assets. When you do, your husband will respond. He’ll start losing weight, dressing better, and focusing on your desires.

A Note for the Non-Married

You don’t have to be married to benefit from the techniques in this book. Whether you’re officially hitched or living together doesn’t matter. You just need to be in a monogamous, committed union with your man.

A Suggestion

I know this is a bit sneaky, but I don’t recommend that you tell your husband about your three-step plan. The reason is simple. This book was written for you, not for him. It’s designed to help you shape his behavior. But if he learns of your plans, he may react negatively. He may feel resentful or hurt if he learns that you have a strategy to get him to change.

Now, let’s bring back the hot man you married!

New York City


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From Purple Green Media

Make Your Marriage Hot:

Improve Your Marriage

With Science

(Relationship Advice For Women)

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Prentice Prefontaine


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[For J.Y.
If you were mine, I’d workout all the time]



y now, you’re looking a little sexier. You’ve been at it for two weeks now. How goes it? More importantly, notice any changes in him? You’ve probably made a few improvements in yourself. It’s only been a short while, but you may have lost a little weight. You’re probably dressing cuter, too. When you workout more, you want to show yourself off.

Maybe you’ve started wearing that ballet neck top that shows off your sexy neck and shoulders. And you’ve probably gotten a few compliments from your co-workers or girlfriends. You’re focused on the right stuff now. And you’re exercising and eating right. Changing how you dress is a natural result of feeling healthier.

At this point, your husband may have made some stirrings about the gym or his diet. On his own, he may have brought up these subjects without you mentioning it. He may even be making comments about how [you _]always seem to be at the gym. He may have noticed you changing. Or not. His recognition of your changes doesn’t matter right now. _He will notice. So, just keep moving forward with your plan.

Aside: It’s Working

  • Lots of Desserts*

[_During your three-step plan, you may get inklings that the plan is working. But there are inklings and then there are signs. And one of the signs that it’s working is “food sabotage.” _]The phrase sounds more sinister than what it is, so let me explain.

_You may find that your hubby surprises you. “Honey, you’ve been working so hard taking care of yourself, you really deserve something special,” he may intone. And that’s when he takes out your favorite treat. It’s cookies from Levain! Profiteroles from La Sirene! Ice cream from Häagen-Dazs! _]

_What he’s doing, subconsciously, is sabotaging your work at getting hotter. He’s fearful. He’s feeling a natural biological threat that you may move on to a better man. He’s subconsciously noticed the changes in you and feels worried since you’re sexier than he is. _]


_If your husband does surprise you with a bevy of desserts, thank him. Enjoy a small portion and save the rest for later. And go back to your plan. _

* Begin the Polishing*

Remember the list I asked you to create in STEP ONE? Take that out now, cause we’re going to use it. This step, STEP TWO, is about amplifying. It’s about pumping up the volume on your beauty. It’s about polishing and refining those hot assets you’ve already got.

Below is a list of common physical attributes. Locate the beauty assets you identified in STEP ONE on this list. Then, note some of the ways you may be able to refine and amplify those assets.

Arms: If you’ve got arms like Michelle O., short sleeve tops and dresses are your thing. Consider hot tanks, sexy T’s, spaghetti strap numbers, and rolled up cardigans. Anything looks good on you, so just show off those sexy arms of yours. Michelle Obama look out!

Ass: Lucky you. You’re blessed with an awesome posterior. Now’s the time to show it off. Almost anything looks great on a girl with a great badunkadunk. You must get yourself some jeans. Preferably several pairs. And if it’s sex appeal you want, the tighter the better. Skinny jeans are hot on you as is anything that hugs your beautiful bottom. And don’t skimp on flirty sun dresses, mini-skirts, and cute shorts. Men also love those tight, low-rise jeans that reveal just a bit of your hip and midriff.

Eyes: Those pools of wonder. You’re lucky if you have beautiful eyes. Men will be drawn to you, no doubt. Now, if you have pretty eyes, there’s not much you need to do to show them off. From what I’m told, the “smoky eye” look is still the most often requested makeup tip. However, I hear that most women don’t know the proper way to create it. May I suggest a visit to one of the boutique makeup shops in your city for a quick refresher? The clinician there can show you how it’s done (usually for free). Then, you’ll know how to “dress” your eyes properly when you want to get even more attention.

Face: What a punim! With a face like that, there’s nothing you can’t do. If your face is one of your best features, here’s a surprising tip you won’t hear from your female friends: don’t wear makeup. One of guys’ pet peeves is the amount of makeup that women wear. If you’ve got a great face, you don’t need to cover it up. Besides moisturizer and sun block, you can go au naturel. However, if you want to make yourself even hotter, consider getting a tan. You will add points to your sex appeal with the healthy glow that comes from that just-back-from-the-beach look. Consider visiting a spray tan place every once in a while. It’s cheap and it’s more healthy than baking in the sun.

Hair: Beautiful hair is a huge turn on for men. As I say in Bitch, Stop That!, men absolutely adore long hair. If your hair is long, keep it long. And if it’s short, grow it out. Long hair is a turn on for ten out of ten men. And if your hair is gray or graying, consider dyeing it. I’m not saying you should. But consider it. I think that a little gray in some women’s hair is sexy. But you have to figure out if that’s the type of look you want.

And a note for women who love short hair and think men do, too. Women often say, “Halle Berry is pretty and she has short hair!” And I always respond, “When you look like Halle Berry, you can cut your hair short, too!” By the way, if your mane is already long, make sure to wear your hair “down.” Show off those lovely locks of yours.

Hips: Jeans are a great way to show off those beautiful hips. Consider low-rise jeans, too, since those can really accentuate the curves.

Legs: Hot legs are hot. And what a great asset you’ve got! Go out and buy some sun dresses and flirty skirts. Skinny jeans also probably look hot on you. And don’t forget the shoes. Heels are an absolute must to show off your lovely stalks. Guys love girls with gorgeous gams.

Lips: Get some hot lip gloss in a variety of colors. Go for hues with pink, since men associate pink with sex. And shiny is best, to get more attention and catch the eye. Skip the severe lip colors like black or brown, since they’re not feminine. If your complexion supports it, go for fire-engine red lip color. Major drama. Very hot.

Neck: A great neck is great, and not just in Great Neck. The neck is one of men’s favorite erogenous zones. You have a bevy of ways to show off your neck. In fact, almost any top will complement your asset, including one of my favorites: the peasant top. You may also want to experiment with glitter and dot some on the nape of your neck before you go out.

Shoulders: Buy yourself a ballet neck or scoop neck top to show off your beautiful shoulders. And a word to the wise on buying tops. If you’re the sort of gal who has wide shoulders, don’t buy tank or spaghetti-strap tops. Those types of tops will accentuate your broad shoulders and make you look more masculine. Instead, consider cap sleeve tops to soften your look.

Smile: Every girl has a great smile. How to pump up the volume on those pearly whites? My suggestion is to find one of those places that does teeth whitening. Spend $75 bucks and get a professional teeth whitening treatment. And forget those home whitening kits and “teeth whitening zappers” since they don’t work. Actually visit one of those teeth whitening places and get it done professionally. It’ll be worth the investment and you’ll look amazing.

Stomach: If you’ve got a great stomach, consider buying some tops that are a little shorter than they should be. You want something that occasionally shows off your bare mid-riff when you reach, stretch or contort your upper body. Although the phrase “belly shirt,” may make you think of teenagers, there’s nothing wrong with showing off your beautiful mid-riff. You want something that will heighten your sex appeal when you reveal those hot abs of yours.

The Toxic Husband

All husbands aren’t created equal. And some husbands possess an amazing skill for blaming others, including their spouses. These men may be covert-aggressives who are experts at manipulating. And they are one of the worst types of husbands imaginable.

Below, I want to share a “type” of toxic husband with you. (Note: I use the words “you” and “your” in the example below to refer to a type of husband and wife. I’m not referring to you and your spouse!)

_The toxic husband is expert at shifting blame. He knows which of your buttons to press to get you to change the subject. He turns your words against you, so you criticize yourself. And he uses excuses to shift the blame on to someone else. _

[_ For example, if you talk with him and say, “How come you didn’t get the groceries I needed at the store?” he may say, “I couldn’t because my credit card stopped working. And you didn’t get any cash for me the last time you were at the bank.” OR, “You don’t need to make chicken tonight. I’m tired of it anyway. How come you don’t try any other recipes?”_]

See how he did that? He got you thinking that you were at fault because he didn’t get the groceries. Or because you don’t cook a wide variety of menu options. He put you on the defensive.

Here’s another example, where he uses a similar tactic:

[_ If you talk with him and say, “I need you to contribute more to our housework,” he may say, “The reason why our house is a mess is because you’re spending so much time at the gym. Everything was fine before you started working out.” OR, “If you didn’t nag me all the time, I would.” OR, “I work very hard to support our family. For once, I just wish you’d to respect me for my contributions to our family.”_]

See how he did that? He totally skipped the issue of him not doing housework. He made you think that you were to blame for working out and using the gym. And he tried to give you a guilt trip to get you to switch subjects. He put you on the defensive.

These men are bad news. So, even if you’re rocking the 3-step plan, you may get pushback if you have a husband like this. These type of men will offer excuse after excuse. (“It’s your cooking that’s making me fat. I used to be thin, before we got married.”) They may even accuse you of having an affair because you’re looking so hot and sexy.

Another strategy these types are known for is being purposely vague. So, if you corner him about his behavior, he may suddenly be short on details. He may become unusually quiet and won’t respond to direct questions.

These types of men may be covert-aggressives. And nothing you say or do with them will have a positive result. Disagreeing with them doesn’t work, because they know how to get you to criticize yourself. And agreeing with them will bring you misery.

If you’re married to a covert-aggressive, I suggest you get individual counseling. Although he’s unlikely to change, you can. And since it’s you I care about, you can get some help. You may be able to develop strategies for coping or consider other options.

Is He Powerful?]

_Very attractive women rarely partner with average men. The beauty that marries a man of average looks is a myth. Women almost always couple with men who are equal to them in physical beauty. But, there are some exceptions. _

A pretty woman may marry a man of average looks if he is remarkable in another way. For example, if he is wealthy, powerful, or famous. Or all three.]

_You already know this behavior from our culture: septuagenarian media moguls and their young wives, gray haired Hollywood movie actors with young arm candy, and Hugh Hefner with his bevy of buxom blondes. There are also women who prefer older men. They are another exception to the rule. _]

Why is understanding these rich and powerful men important? It’s only important if you’re married to one of them.]

[_If you’re lucky enough to be married to one of them, congratulations! Around these men, though, increasing your sex appeal won’t get them to change. Their impetus to change is low because their wealth, power, or fame insulates them from the “laws of mating.” So, they don’t need to workout to keep the beauties. _]

Priorities for Weeks Three and Four

• Eat Right and Workout
• Beware: Food Sabotage
• Pump Up the Volume on Your Best Features

  • *

elcome to the last step, STEP THREE. In STEP ONE, you identified your beauty assets. Then, in STEP TWO, you turned up the volume on them. You amplified them and showed them off. At this point, four weeks have gone by. I hope you have some progress you feel good about. You’re working out, looking hot, and probably have some new fashions to boot, too. Cool.

STEP THREE is about maintaining your sex appeal. I want to show you some easy ways to maintain your beauty that require little to no work. Everyone wants a shortcut. So, this step is about helping you find some tricks to keep the pressure on him. And these techniques are very easy on you.

[_ [* Aside:*_
_*A Dilemma*] _]

“What happens if I follow these steps, increase my sex appeal, and my husband doesn’t change?”]

[_ If you go through the three steps over six weeks and he’s made no changes, you have a dilemma. You see, men are biologically programmed to respond to your increase in sex appeal. This is a rule of nature backed by science. So, it would be very rare for a healthy, heterosexual male not to respond based on the work you’ve done. _]

_So, ask yourself three questions: _]

1) “Is my husband rich or powerful?” If so, see the “Aside” on that subject in the previous step. AND,]

_2) “Am I certain I’ve made measurable improvements in my sex appeal over the past six weeks?” AND, _]

_3) “Have I changed any of my other habits?” For example, you can’t follow these steps but increase the nagging of your husband. If you have, you’ve taken a step back. _]

_If the three issues above don’t apply and he still hasn’t changed, there may be something physical or psychological at play. My suggestion is that he visit a psychotherapist and get a full medical work up by a doctor. He may have an undiagnosed psychological problem or health issue that needs to be addressed. _]

*Shortcuts *

If you don’t want to wait all six weeks before seeing if you can get your man to change, I have a couple of sneaky suggestions for you. Here are a few you can try.

Dress Sexy: Find your favorite flirty dress or skirt. Then, find some heels you like. Then, wear your flirty dress and heels each and every day for the next six weeks. Yes, that includes nights, weekends, and holidays. This is an easy way to increase your sex appeal and it requires virtually no work. Just put on your sexiest outfit and [_voila! _]

Go Polar: Polarity is another principle that may help you turn up the heat. Science shows that the differences between the sexes (the “polarity” between female and male) are the basis for strong attraction. Ever notice the celebrity couples in the news? The more “feminine” the women in the couple are, the more “masculine” the men are. These couples are just echoing what we’ve learned from biology earlier. Men are attracted to traits that show female reproductive health. To keep things hot with your own man, keep doing things that preserve the sex differences between you two. The more “feminine” you dress and behave, the more “masculine” your husband will respond. And it’s these differences between you two that will keep your marriage fun and hot. Your husband is biologically programmed to respond to your femininity.

Meet a Dancer: Strippers and female salsa dancers are sexy. They know how to move their hips, arms, and legs to get male attention. So, this idea is a little unconventional. I suggest that you befriend a stripper or salsa dancer to learn how to move more sexily. If you don’t want to visit a strip club to make a new friend, you can always take one of those “Stripping for Fitness” classes that they offer in most cities. Or, you can take up salsa dancing. Either approach will give you some new moves you can use. You’ll learn how to move your hips and act more seductively in your every day life. And your husband will take an even stronger interest in you. It’s an easy way to cheat to turn up your sex appeal.

Wear Pink: Wearing pink is another great way to cheat. Pink is a great way to look hotter. You love pink. Men love pink. It’s a no-brainer. And men love to see it on women, since it’s supremely feminine. Guys associate the color with sex. No surprise there.

[*Aside: *]

  • The Right Choice *

[_At some point, you’re going to get hit on. Maybe you already do as a married woman. Lucky you! But as you amplify your sex appeal, men are going to notice. Maybe it’ll be your son’s school principal. Or the husband of one of your friends. Or a guy at the Starbucks. One of them is going to make you a proposal. And it may be tempting, given your unfit husband sitting at home. _]

_But by having an affair, you will undermine the trust that is the foundation of your marriage. This isn’t a lecture on morals. You obviously think your husband is worth staying with, or you wouldn’t have picked up this book. So, if you’re working hard to preserve your marriage, don’t undermine it at the same time. _]

_Take these “compliments” in stride. You are hot. Good for you! Stick with this plan and see if you can get your husband to look hot with you. When he changes for the better, a fling with your kid’s soccer coach won’t seem all that hot. _]

[It’s Working:

Jealousy is another emotion that may emerge during your three-step plan. If your husband gets jealous about your improved looks or new workout regimen, it’s because he’s still looking like a schlub. He’s likely jealous that you’re getting attention from other men and looking hotter. But most of all, jealousy tells you that your work is going well.

Most of the women that I’ve shared these techniques with have reported positive changes in their husbands. In only one case, did a husband express concern about a woman’s renewed interest in fitness and dressing better. So, it’s conceivable (although unlikely) that your husband may suspect that you’re cheating on him. It all depends on how dramatic your transformation has been in turning up your sex appeal.

If the subject of fidelity comes up, be honest. I hope you’re not cheating on him. Whatever you say to him, be sincere. If you’re happy in your marriage, make sure he knows it. Tell him you’re working out to stay happy and healthy. Not because you’re cheating on him. Then, ravish him in your living room so he knows that you love him.

Be Newsworthy

Some women have asked me, “Is it still important to dress hot, even if he’s not around or on a business trip?” The answer is YES. You want to maintain a sexy mind set. By staying sexy, you’re keeping attraction at the top of your mind. And it will encourage you to exhibit the sensuality that will get him to change. Even if you’re talking to him on the phone when he’s stuck at the airport, your sultry behavior will come through. You want to maintain a constant sensuality and not turn it on and off.

The other reason to keep “the new you” front and center is because you may run into one of your husband’s married friends. Maybe you’ll see the wife of the couple at Starbucks. And later, she may gush to her husband and friends about you: “I saw Tracy at Starbucks. Wow. She looked so sexy!” You want good news like that to spread and get back to your spouse.

A Parting Note

Writing non-fiction books for women is one of my greatest joys. I enjoyed sharing this information with you and appreciate your support. Below is a summary of all of the steps in the book for handy reference.

Summary of Steps One, Two, and Three

• Eat Right and Workout
• Skip the Weights
• Identify Your Best Features
• Show More Skin
• Compliment Your Husband as He Changes
• Choose “Contacts” Over Glasses

• Eat Right and Workout
• Beware: Food Sabotage
• Polish Your Best Features

• Eat Right and Workout
• Use Beauty “Cheats”: Dress Sexy, Go Polar, Meet a Dancer, Wear Pink
• Be Newsworthy

Also by Prentice Prefontaine

Be the Best Online Bitch

Behind the Kindle

Bitch, Stop That!

Does He Like Me?

Escape From Human Resources

How Do You Find a Man?

How to Find a Boyfriend in New York City

Stop His Vanishing Act

  • Books by Prentice Prefontaine*

Author Page

About Prentice Prefontaine

I always wanted to write. I wrote when I was younger to express myself and I do the same thing today. I’m a big reader, too. Books, magazines, cereal boxes—anything. Every project starts with research, because I like to learn about a subject before I begin. I read, travel, and interview people, and I take notes on what I learn. I immerse myself in a topic because it’s interesting, and then I start writing. This can take anywhere from months to years. When I’m done, I work with professional artists to create book designs I hope will capture your imagination. The result is writing steeped in real life. I hope you enjoy it.


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Make Your Marriage Hot is a registered trademark.



Copyright © 2013 by Prentice Prefontaine

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LEGAL: This book contains the ideas and the opinions of the author and is intended for entertainment purposes only. Talk to a doctor before making any changes to your health routine, including starting any diet or exercise program. The author specifically disclaims any responsibility for any loss, liability, or risk as a direct or indirect consequence of the use and/or application of this book.


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Make Your Marriage Hot: Improve Your Marriage with Science

Ready to bring the excitement and romance back into your marriage? Forget sexy outfits and ‘date nights.’ It’s time for science.... Science shows that men change their romantic behavior when their wives modify their “mating cues.” Inside this book, you’ll learn how to improve your marriage without talking to your husband about it. When you follow these steps, you may be able to improve your marriage without counseling. Your husband may turn up his sex appeal, lose weight, and focus his attention on your needs. You Can Keep Doing What You’ve Been Doing To Fix Your Marriage. Or, You Can Use Science. Click “Buy” above. Prentice Prefontaine is the only Amazon marriage expert with over three decades of experience. He believes that every woman deserves a great marriage. He believes that marriage can be easier. Prefontaine is the author of several books including the bestsellers Does He Like Me? and Stop His Vanishing Act.

  • Author: Prentice Prefontaine
  • Published: 2017-09-22 13:35:11
  • Words: 8561
Make Your Marriage Hot: Improve Your Marriage with Science Make Your Marriage Hot: Improve Your Marriage with Science