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Lifting Dims: A Poetry Collection

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lifting Dims

a poetry collection

by

 

 

Nada Ahmed

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright ©2017 Nada Ahmed

All rights reserved.

Cover photograph courtesy of Mostafa Magdy

E-book designed by Nada Ahmed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

for the family I once had.

 

Contents

Song for the Heartless

Lands Apart

In Regione Caecorum Rex Est Luscus

Black in Blue

Pried

I’ve Chosen the Darkness

Cutter

World Suicidal

Faces upon the Waters

Toughness

Geminate

The Abyss

Animus

Nightgazer

Fletcherism

Dither

Essence

Cavity

Infinite Circle

Silver Lines

Ethereal

Content

The Veil

Walls

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS:

ABOUT THE POET:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

part I:

 

Depth of Blue

 

 

 

 

 

 

[]Song for the Heartless

 

 

You speak as of heaven you are

yet to me, hell is raining immorality

amply making promises

when only with hatred you cram me

I let it be

I let you chop the smile off my face

to scatter my years onto seclusion

onto bizarre conclusions

 

you are no man of devotion

nor am I woman of heresy

but you have taken the wrong turn

to indulge a life of dismay and hypocrisy

I don’t let it be

I don’t let you reign over me

to wander my years impetuously

you’re not the one who keeps me alive

and you won’t be the one to kill me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[]Lands Apart

 

 

Swift as the autumn wind are your words

like poison, running through my veins

treacherous as the sea, keeping secrets

shadowing down my mind

 

I don’t call out for anything but mercy

upon this wildness

this lank insanity

my hands apart,

 

so spare your vicious mouthful to somebody else

unless God humbles and comes back to earth

under the name of mortality

as if it wasn’t enough what you’ve stolen

out of Mother and the spinningly token

my lands apart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[] In Regione Caecorum Rex Est Luscus

 

 

A spacious meadow, a rose grew in

ivory tower, eye is sole

one, what I see: a world to me

envy of the blind blinds me

 

the rose, by the wronging wind has withered

growing pale, yet preserved above ‘em all

ivory failing to be maintained

for they kill mammoths in the rose’s land

 

to the leas, toward defacement it led me

to the graves, I dared to carry my fascist dreams

to the bones, have I ached for the foretold end

end where to the blind’s kingdom and soul

unlikely seen, improbably said

 

I am king

 

I am no king

 

but of the fool.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[]Black in Blue

 

 

Black in blue

life, a subtle denial

die over to live

suffer a constant defile

make disbelieve.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[]Pried

 

 

She’s got her senses bent down at her feet

she’s got her thoughts ensilenced

her words defined

and whispers into her mind unleashed

 

she’s got her lurk presence keeping company

she’s got her absence in pending stiffly

this slender wait

and wonders of her retorted agony

 

she’s got a sheen pale

the moonlight

the clouds afloat

over her said and thought

she’s got a fear in motion

the swindling ocean

her self pried

when self was all she sought.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[]I’ve Chosen the Darkness

 

 

Depth of blue

tonight she falls

amongst suns and moons

tears to scars

on face so gloom

skin so dry

craving dreary fires

demon’s growls

heard at night

she, not screaming

it is the dark

for path untrodden

opting out of all wrong

all falls in darkness

all righteous

I don’t hate you

I’ve chosen the darkness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[]Cutter

 

 

I threw my papers away,

shoved the pen in one eye

and with the other I watched you coming by,

doling my organs away

I only wanted to look pretty

with no make-up, no self-pity,

wanted the mild mask on

 

please, Mr. Surgeon,

easy on the cutting

for wounds are getting deep,

deep into my eyes

why can’t you make me look pretty?

like a fairy so sleek and witty?

why can’t you just make me die?

 

 

 

 

 

 

World Suicidal

 

 

Fluted steps we are walking

pleaded in fear

by the palest sunshine

the moon is gone

beyond spaces of emptiness

the stars no longer shine

suicidal in their ever-nights

 

let us not cry over fate

and remorse our past cruelty

this calamitous game

of death and revival

could never release our hearts

I am bound to you

you are bound to me

universe’s unjust for such a doomed reality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Faces upon the Waters

 

 

Face upon the waters

I eat no lotuses, no

I, the exiting race

reigning

 

beams of furring birds

flee…but never free

swept aside

followed to no side

birds in a sly cage

 

time in a hurry

aging…sucking hole

not fair nor yet fairly

to fear the times

 

 

bright afflictions

lifting dims…bleaks

divine by the night

assemblize

 

gaze justly at life

limp, jump, haste

rebel, rebel, rebel

the sleeping gods

 

ladders upwards mind

ascend and walk

do sell

the no-dreams

to the no-ones.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Toughness

 

 

Bounced back to the bitter past, haven’t we?

spreading those sharp words so evenly

carefully we hold each other’s hands

not to recall what might have come of us

patience departs as we think

I hope you mean what you say.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Geminate

 

 

Who said of paradise I did not daydream?

about fires and our loudest screams?

for the strength I show

in which I’ve hidden my humanity

my capability to feel,

so please, sir,

do not mistake my stubborn head

and eloquent tongue

with my idiotically chaotic heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Abyss

 

 

In company, all is fair

but when sole

I am tripped

by my thoughts of you

my abyss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

part II:

 

Passion Crime

 

 

 

 

 

 

Animus

 

 

Ever I grow restless of your rigid breaths?

ever you never cease?

and of hearts, of passion we shall not confess

are thoughts built not to please

 

stirred we fall as to tempt the animus

boiling soils, waters in hell

delusions tumbling like castles of sand

the reeling voids we ought to fill

 

after all, these vices shall wittily smolder

for my ego I cannot swallow

hunger do I for your frozen shoulder

care do you for a light in the morrow?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nightgazer

 

 

Consciousness could not go to sleep

when heart was the eyes, wide awake

observing your beauty that flickered

and as the sun set

I gazed into the horizon

only to find it gone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fletcherism

 

 

If I let the lights take you

to the paths of deathly desires

the nothing left cannot make you

any closer

if I am to sleep for eternity

will wake in low heavens not to see

my debris onto the hells of Utopia

any farther

and if I subdue my fires and flames

I shall crave all credits and fames

that my name is carved upon your heart

never fader

 

but if I revive you to down here

for all my endings to draw near

the earth blossoms in red and black

never sadder

and you turn me down

not!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dither

 

 

Of which cold doth the shiver linger along?

for a night, only a night sees its fairest song

on thy charms and thy nestles I bear no more

a hold so bitter, that it leaves me so sore

if trembling, the words you utter as to fear

words of mine, as to affections be way near—

 

farewell, alleged valor!

alas! here fall’th a tear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Essence

 

 

Crawl into me and do fill

for void is my essence and I

the air, searing in your lungs

if you don’t exist,

then how can I?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cavity

 

 

But after all she slept on her own

though he was stalking her redly doors

looking through the holes

and hers was wide open

ready to comprise

with the devil and his rousing ties

he listened to the hands ticking

‘cause time did not fly by

while he hid under her bed

the boogeyman was what she thought

to scare herself this often

overlook these holes in the wall

though his hands, at last, could reach

and the ties would finally bind

but it was too late

for there were no more holes to find!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Infinite Circle

 

 

Once the infinite circle of doubt subsided in his heed,

once I broke my silence and threw my troubles aside

the anticipation shattered those chances I might fight

against his helping hands nearing in my time of need

 

now the liquids run soft and slow over my belly

and the curves of his waiting hands

fit around the curves of my delicate body

bringing me peace while they feed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silver Lines

 

 

Skins of silver lines

my plain dress, you stripped

figures divine

and if averse,

your roots reach out to mine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ethereal

 

 

Do fossils acclaim the joy in hand

when the sea merrier pleas his widows to hoard?

of merry dreams they art made

upon lousy laments he finds in love

lov’th do me, my navy appeal

lov’th do thee, thy whining queen

beneath castles of sand shall I confer my heart

and whistling birds in midst heavens…to heavens

liberty howling that we can hear

and in gayest dreams of mine

I beheld thine beloved ivory

through the nail, through the hair

such a passion crime!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Content

 

 

If only it wasn’t for the fear of losing

I would have conquered your within

I would have extinguished this fire in your soul

with water flowing down my womb

I would have stolen the good in you

left you to nothing but ashes and bones

if only it wasn’t for the fear of falling

I would have come ease your pain

and mine, you would have done the same

but that you are close, but not here

I am content

or my heart only tells me so!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Veil

 

 

A night is

but a veil

hide our failure

but to collide

through our bodies

I don’t feel

the you above

the me inside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walls

 

 

Why do I always miss

those I never met?

faces engraved

upon my heart

yet I keep building walls

against the ones already exist!

 

 

 

 

 

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS:

 

I would like to thank the talented photographer Mostafa Magdy who generously contributed his work to the making of the book cover.

I would like to also thank my amazing husband Kaml Rajab who has long endured my ‘mad writer’ moments and partook in the editing of my poems.

And many thanks go to my courageous mother and sisters whose incredible strength and persistence to go on have been of much inspiration to me.

ABOUT THE POET:

 

Nada Ahmed is an Egypt-based poetess, short-story writer and spoken-word performer. Born and lived in Cairo, her daily endeavors to resist social and political hindrances were always translated in classical poetry inspirations. Although her early writings leaned toward the traditional, Old English mode of literature, her current productions are inspired from modern American female writings. She took up English literature and linguistics as her collage major for five years, and has been active as an article writer for the past nine years.

 

 

CONTACT:

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Lifting Dims: A Poetry Collection

A book of poetry that is meant to both document and honor the author's childhood and teenage days. A reflection of self-growth, struggle with mental illness and a never-ending quest to find family and love. Lifting Dims is an intention to be heard. The first part of the book voices the poet's dark emotions toward a cruel father and a prejudiced society, and addresses the mental turmoil that accompanies her strife. The second part, on the other hand, attempts to reveal the false liberties and profound desires found in love. Poems in Lifting Dims are infused with imagery and melodies designed to make a statement rather than merely exist for a literary purpose. They will lead the way to manifest tenors of anguish, desire, hope and mystery that is life.

  • Author: Nada Ahmed
  • Published: 2017-06-05 16:10:25
  • Words: 1794
Lifting Dims: A Poetry Collection Lifting Dims: A Poetry Collection