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Journeys of a Dandelion

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Journeys Of a Dandelion

Musings and more.

Index

Poetry

1. Scream ………………………………………………………………… 8

2. Time …………………………………………………………………….. 10

3. They have to go ……………………………………………………… 13

4.Memories ……………………………………………………………….. 15

5. Insecure ………………………………………………………………….. 17

6. Calm ……………………………………………………………………… 20

Prose

1. Failures ………………………………………………………… 23

2. Okay …………………………………………………………….. 26

3. An ode to Alan Harper Lee …………………………. 28

Gallery ……………………………………………………….. 30

Scream.

Sometimes, you just feel so low.

So low that you feel like sitting down in the middle of the road.
And Sit and cry and yell and scream.
Boy! How you want to scream.
How you want  to just stare at the unknown faces that surround you,
And at them, scream.
You want to scream to let the world know.
That you’re done.
You’re done with this little thing called hope.
You’re done with Saying “just a little bit more”
Now, you’re just waiting for the speeding car to come and hit you.
For that speeding car to be the hand that releases the anchor that had been forcing you, to hold on.

And hence,

Waiting,
To be free.
To be free to float into infinity.
Gone will be these grey shades then.
And gone will be these rainbows that from behind the clouds  peek.
Gone will be the moments when you used to seek,
Warmth, from the flame that’s bleak.
You will have to no more, innocence in puppy eyes seek,
You will have to no more, in pretence be.
You could just be free.
And you could scream.
And this time, you won’t scream because you want liberation.
But because you have it.
Because you have your hands on the wheel.
You could steer your way into the horizon.
And glide in the clear blue skies like a falcon.
And once again you’ll stare into the faces  unknown,
This time not because of frustration,
But because through their desperation, 
You’ll see .
And you’ll laugh into their faces like an evil queen,
Because now you can see the pink and blue and the yellow and the green.

And of happiness will be your scream.

Time.

I always feel that time is fleeting you know.

Like if I don’t do something by tomorrow it would be too late.
Like sand.
Just washing away.
And I am standing here on the shore, watching it slide by and making half built sand castles for it to destroy.
But I don’t want them to be half built, 
I want them to be sand monuments so that when the time comes for the wave to dissolve it, I can stand by and watch it dissolve, with pride.

It is like having sand and putting together lumps of it and making a somewhat castle like structure out of it.

I don’t want it to be like that, I want a clear map of what I want to build, with the right angles the right block sizes. the right buckets and the right tools. 
I want Everything to be preset and clear in my head.
I’ve always succeeded when everything has been clear and preset.
But right now it isn’t so.
Right now it is one step at a time on a foggy road. I don’t know if in the next step I will fall ir if I would stand on my feet a little bit better. 
I hope I wouldn’t fall.

And I always feel like it’s too late.
That I didn’t hurry enough in taking the next step.
That I took a little bit longer in the last one.
That I lost a pearl out of my necklace of time.
And I am afraid, more and more with every passing day , afraid, that I shall have no pearls left when the time shall come.
Afraid that one day, I will look back and realize that I wasted them all.
That I was careless in the times when I should’ve been the most careful.

Me and time, we have a bitter sweet tale.

Maybe it has the right things for me and I am doing fine, but it wouldn’t tell me that and free me of my anxiety,
oh no.
It likes to watch me agonize over my musings.
Maybe it is indeed correct what I am feeling, and my hurrying isn’t an over thinking consequence, but a rational measure that will maybe bring me good someday.
And maybe  I should do what I’m doing but not be so anxious anymore, 
maybe everything is just fine.
Which one of these it is, 
I know not.
It is something
Only time can tell.
But that’s the thing,

***

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Journeys of a Dandelion

  • Author: ketakee nimavat
  • Published: 2016-05-08 13:05:07
  • Words: 2777
Journeys of a Dandelion Journeys of a Dandelion