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Joe's Videos

 

JOE’S VIDEOS

Jake Connor Moss

 

2012.

 

 

I wrote this when I was 17. It’s fucked up. Enjoy.

 

Set in December, 1999.

INT. MIKE’S BEDROOM – 7:10AM

Mike is an unfit 20 year old. He lays in his bed staring at the ceiling. his room is messy. he has movie posters on his wall. Mike has not slept all night. His clock-radio alarm goes off, blasting ’I Will Always Love You’ by Whitney Houston.

CUT TO:

INT. MIKE’S BEDROOMNIGHT BEFORE – 11:30PM

Mike and Chloe enter the bedroom. Chloe is Mike’s girlfriend. She starts packing her clothes into a bag.

MIKE

I just don’t understand, what did I do wrong!?

CHLOE

You didn’t do anything wrong Mike, I said I was sorry.

 

MIKE

Then why did you suck his dick?

CHLOE

I said I was sorry Mike. It just

happened!

MIKE

It just happened? I suppose, it could have just happened. My Aunt Betty just sleazes around too, oh wait that’s because she’s a prostitute.

CHLOE

Aunt Betty is a prostitute?

MIKE

I don’t want to talk about it!

CHLOE

Well, I said I was sorry.

MIKE

You cheated on me, Chloe. With Tom! Do you have any idea how much shit that dude gave me in high school? I can’t believe you sucked his dick. Jesus Christ, could my night get any worse…

There is a brief moment of silence.

CHLOE

We had sex…

CUT TO:

INT. A BEDROOMMIKE’S VISION

Chloe is on the bed with Tom from the Gym. They are going at it.

RETURN TO:

INT. MIKE’S BEDROOMNIGHT BEFORE – 11:30PM

MIKE

Get the fuck out.

RETURN TO:

INT. MIKE’S BEDROOMCURRENT DAY

 

Mike remains in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He is depressed.

CUT TO:

EXT. BEACHDAY/FLASHBACK

Mike and Chloe are walking along a beach holding hands.

RETURN TO:

INT. MIKE’S BEDROOMCURRENT DAY

Mike looks around his room at things that remind him of Chloe. A photo of them on his desk. Her hair clip on his bedside table. A painting they did together. A Valentine’s Day card. Depressing shit like that.

CUT TO:

INT. SCOTT’S LOUNGEROOM.

Scott is a skinny 21 year old. he is asleep. He has potato chip crumbs over his chest. He wakes up – however before he opens his eyes his hand brings a cigarette to his lips, which he lights. He then opens his eyes and checks his watch. It is 7:31.

SCOTT

Fuck!

Scott rushes off the couch.

EXT. SCOTT’S HOUSEMOMENTS LATER.

Scott exits his house, still in his underwear and smoking a cigarette. He has a pile of clothes in his arms. He runs to his car, turns it on and accelerates. On his way to picking Mike up he gets dressed – while smoking and driving.

CUT TO:

EXT. MIKE’S HOUSEMOMENTS LATER

Scott arrives at Mike’s place. He is still putting his shirt on as he walks to Mike’s front door. Scott knocks on the door. Scott knocks again.

INT. MIKE’S HOUSE.

Scott enters Mike’s house.

SCOTT

Oi cunt, where you at?

MIKE (O.S

Here

Scott walks to Mike’s room.

INT. MIKE’S BEDROOMMORNING.

Mike is laying in his bed still.

MIKE

You’re late.

SCOTT

Yeah, sorry man, the traffic today was crazy.

Mike stares at Scott, waiting for the truth.

SCOTT

Okay so I slept in. I was up all night studying.

CUT TO:

INT. SCOTT’S BEDROOMNIGHT BEFORE – 3:45AM

Scott is on his computer playing Diablo.

RETURN TO:

INT. MIKE’S BEDROOMMORNING.

MIKE

Diablo?

SCOTT

Yeah, Diablo. Anyway, why aren’t

you ready?

MIKE

It’s a long story.

SCOTT

Well can you tell me while you get ready?

CUT TO:

INT. MIKE’S BATHROOMMOMENTS LATER.

Mike is in the shower. Scott sits on a chair on the other side of the shower curtain.

MIKE

Chloe cheated on me.

SCOTT

That sucks. With who?

MIKE

Tom, from the gym.

SCOTT

You go to the gym?

MIKE

No, she does.

SCOTT

Gonna say…

MIKE

He went to my high school. It just sucks you know. We dated for almost two years.

SCOTT

That’s a pretty long time. How did you find out?

MIKE

I ended up going to that Christmas party last night. When I open this door – thinking it lead to a bathroom, I see Tom getting a blowjob from this blondie. Then as I instinctivly say ’sorry’ and go to close the door, the blonde turns around, and it’s Chloe.

SCOTT

Ah well. Good thing you ended it

though. Some guys get whipped and

don’t know when to let go.

Mike gets out of the shower.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREETSIDEMOMENTS LATER.

Mike and Scott are in Scott’s car.

SCOTT

I’m not meant to be driving you

know.

MIKE

What do you mean?

SCOTT

I failed my test.

MIKE

What…?

SCOTT

You know the test that they want you to do? Yeah. Wasn’t for me.

MIKE

You don’t have your license, do

you?

SCOTT

I guess it depends on the

interpretation of the word

’license’.

MIKE

The card that says you’re allowed

to legally drive.

SCOTT

Yeah, I don’t have one of those.

MIKE

So you’ve been picking me up before work for the past eight weeks, and you never thought to mention that you didn’t have a license?

SCOTT

You never asked.

MIKE

Get the fuck out.

SCOTT

What?

MIKE

I’m driving, get out.

SCOTT

Trust me, you don’t want to drive.

MIKE

Why not?

SCOTT

Break lights don’t work.

MIKE

Are you fucking serious? You live

with your brother and he’s a mechanic, why don’t you have your

break lights fixed?

SCOTT

Just haven’t got around to askin’

him yet.

 

MIKE

Jesus Christ.

SCOTT

Chill dude, we’re not gonna get pulled up.

Scott starts the car’s engine.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREETSIDEMOMENTS LATER.

Mike and Scott are pulled up by a police officer.

POLICE OFFICER

Licence, please.

Scott goes into his wallet.

SCOTT

Dammit I can’t find it.

POLICE OFFICER

Are you aware that it is an offence to drive behind the wheel of a vehicle without a physical copy of your licence in the state of Queensland?

Scott looks at Mike. Mike nods to Scott.

SCOTT

Yes.

POLICE OFFICER

Please state your name and date of birth.

SCOTT

Scott James Donald Heath

Christopher Roger Nigel Smith III, born 4th of October 1978.

POLICE OFFICER

Wait here for a moment.

Police Offer walks back to his car.

Mike and Scott sit in an uncomfortable silence.

SCOTT

I watched Pulp Fiction the other

night.

 

Mike doesn’t say anything.

The Police Officer returns.

POLICE OFFICER

You’ve breached the Traffic Act

Regulations by driving without a

licence, I’ll be following this up and you’ll be summons to court and have the opportunity to state your claims and/or offer any reasonable excuse for driving without a licence. Do you understand?

SCOTT

Yes.

POLICE OFFICER

 

Do you have a licence?

MIKE

Yes.

Police officer stretches his arm into the car. mike hands

him his licence.

POLICE OFFICER

Wait here for a moment.

The police officer walks back to his vehicle.

SCOTT

It’s a pretty good movie.

The Police Officer returns.

POLICE OFFICER

Alrighty, you’re free to drive.

MIKE

Thank you Officer.

Mike and Scott get out of the car and switch seats.

SCOTT

What are the odds, right?

 

Mike starts the car and pulls away.

MIKE

Shut up.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROAD TO JOE’S – MOMENTS LATER.

Mike is driving Scott’s car. Scott is eating a cheeseburger and drinking a chocolate milkshake.

MIKE

(signalling to Scott’s burger)

Where did you get that?

SCOTT

Maccas. Why?

MIKE

Oh nothin’, I just didn’t know they sold burgers this early in the morning.

Mike points to the clock that states ’7:53’.

SCOTT

They don’t. It’s from Thursday.

MIKE

That’s fucked up.

SCOTT

You think that’s bad? This

milkshake is from Tuesday.

MIKE

So fucked up.

SCOTT

Dude, it’s cool, I put it in the

fridge.

CUT TO:

EXT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Mike and Scott pull up at Joe’s Videos, a VHS hire store. The sign ’Joe’s Videos’ is extremely faded. Mike opens up the store. This includes opening the doors, and bringing out a table with VHS cases on it. Scott remain outside the entire time, drinking his milkshake.

SCOTT

Seriously, Chloe is such a bitch. I know what it’s like to have cheating get in the way of a serious relationship.

MIKE

Really, what happened?

SCOTT

Remember Tegan?

MIKE

The one that always wore pink?

SCOTT

It’s hard to talk about, you

know… I got with someone else.

MIKE

YOU cheated on HER?

SCOTT

Define the word ’cheat’.

MIKE

Have sexual relations with a person while you are in a relationship

with someone else.

SCOTT

Then yes. I cheated on Tegan. But

it was with her sister, Katie, so

it’s not like THAT bad, you know?

MIKE

You slept with Tegan’s sister?

SCOTT

No.

MIKE

You just said you cheated on Tegan with her sister, Katie?

SCOTT

Yeah, but I didn’t SLEEP with her. I sent her home before Tegan came

over, I’d have to be an absolute

PIG to sleep with my girlfriend’s

sister.

MIKE

Did Tegan find out?

SCOTT

Yeah, Katie left her socks at my

place.

MIKE

But how did Tegan know they were

Katie’s?

SCOTT

She wrote ’Katie’ on them. Classic mistake. Could have happened to anyone.

Mike and Scott enter the store.

CUT TO:

INT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Scott throws his milkshake cup in the bin that’s in front of the counter. Mike grabs a bunch of tapes from the return shoot and takes them behind the counter.

SCOTT

You know what I’ve come to notice?

MIKE

What?

SCOTT

Okay, well, this might sound a bit ridiculous, but, when you think about it -

 

Mike is only giving Scott half of his attention, as he continues to set up the stalls outside.

SCOTT (CONT’D

- the possibility of Santa’s

existence is a little far-fetched, right? I mean how could ONE guy deliver SO MANY presents in ONE night? Sounds a little hard to believe. I don’t know man, maybe it’s just me, but I think I’m gonna need some proof, you know? Like I don’t want to question Santa or anything, but like, I’m just having trouble believing it.

MIKE

(sarcastically)

Yeah man, I think you’re onto

something.

SCOTT

We’ll see. Hey did you get Chloe

anything for Christmas?

MIKE

Yeah, I booked us a weekend on the Gold Coast. Thought it’d be

romantic you know.

SCOTT

Can I have it?

MIKE

Excuse me?

SCOTT

Well you’re probably not going

anymore right? You know, after she fucked Tom from the gym – no

offence.

MIKE

I guess. Actually that’s perfect,

then I can give your present to my cousin Corey.

SCOTT

Oh really, what is it?

MIKE

Rollerblades.

SCOTT

Fuck your cousin Corey, give ’em to me. Where are they?

MIKE

In the back.

SCOTT

Can I go get them?

MIKE

Just wait until after work.

SCOTT

Or, I could wear them WHILE I work.

MIKE

No, what are you high?

There is a short pause as Mike realises that of course Scott is high, he is always high.

CUT TO:

EXT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Scott is riding around the front of Joe’s Videos in his rollerblades.

SCOTT

Wooooo!

Mike sits against the storefront watching Scott, however focusing on thoughts of Chloe.

INT. CHLOE’S BEDROOMFLASHBACK.

Mike lays on chloe’s bed, on top of Chloe.

 

MIKE

Hey.

CHLOE

Hi.

MIKE

Are you sure you want to do this?

 

CHLOE

Yes.

They passionately kiss.

EXT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Scott rolls over to Mike and sits with him.

SCOTT

Sickest Christmas present ever,

thanks man!

MIKE

It’s okay.

SCOTT

You still bummed about Chloe, huh?

MIKE

Who?

They both share in a moment of short- but positive -laughter. This is very corny. Perhaps in slow motion with doves flying in the background as an orchestra plays gently.

MIKE

Yeah. Mainly because I actually saw it going somewhere.

SCOTT

Dude, if you ever want to talk

about anything I’m always here for you, alright? I’m bein’ serious dude, whatever you want to talk about. I’m always free.

A young, hot, blonde chick walks into Joe’s Videos.

MIKE

Well I just-

SCOTT

Hold that thought.

Scott gets up and blades into Joe’s Videos.

MIKE

Fuckin’ great.

A girl walks past Joe’s Videos, Mike recognises her.

MIKE (CONT’D

Sarah?

SARAH

Mike?

MIKE

Hey what’s up? Haven’t seen you

in ages!

SARAH

I know right. How have you been?

MIKE

Great I guess. You?

SARAH

Not too bad. Are you getting up to anything tonight?

MIKE

Well I was going to go to my

girlfriend’s family’s place, but

she cheated on me last night so

we’re not going out anymore. So I

probably won’t go to that. It might be weird.

SARAH

Oh okay. Well my parents died when I was six, so I’m just having a group of friends over. You can come if you want.

MIKE

Oh thanks, yeah, I might do that

then. You live down the road from

Johnny Hay right?

SARAH

Yeah. I’ll see you around seven?

MIKE

Alright. See ya.

Sarah walks off the way she came, however then turns around to walk the way she was originally going.

SARAH

Whoops. I’m going this way.

INT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Mike enter Joe’s Videos. Scott is flirting with the chick customer at the counter.

SCOTT

Alrighty, I’ll see you Wednesday.

CHICK CUSTOMER

Call me sooner.

Chick customer leaves.

SCOTT

These blades are workin’ wonders.

MIKE

You’ll never guess who I just saw. Sarah Butters. Remember the one that used to come in here with her sister and we used to always talk about one day marrying them and then that way we’d be like brothers-in-law?

SCOTT

No.

MIKE

Well anyway, I just saw her.

SCOTT

Oh wait, I do remember! Her sister had blonde hair, and she moved away to study Human Services because she wanted to change the world.

MIKE

Yeah.

SCOTT

Her name was Crystal. I wonder where she is now.

INT. PORN SETSAME TIME

Crystal is on the set of a porno.

PORN DIRECTOR

Alright, great work Crystal, work

that booty. Show us what you’re

made of, honey!

 

INT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Mike and Scott are at the counter.

MIKE

I’m sure she’s still studying very hard. Anyway, I was gonna go get a bite to eat, you want anything?

SCOTT

Nah dude, I’m sweet.

 

Mike leaves the store. After a moment a customer, CAL, walks into the store. He has long black hair, thick black framed glasses.

SCOTT

Hey Cal.

CAL

Sup man.

SCOTT

What are you getting’ up to for

Christmas?

CAL

Spending some quality time with my family, wakin’ up early to open some presents, you know, what else is there to do on such a day?

There is a short pause.

SCOTT

… but what are you really doing?

CAL

Probably getting high. Where’s

Mike?

SCOTT

He went to get something to eat.

Poor dude, Chloe cheated on him

last night.

CAL

With who?

SCOTT

Tom, from the gym.

CAL

Mike goes to the gym?

SCOTT

No, Chloe does. Anyway, Tom from

the Gym went to Mike’s high school and used to give him shit. So Mike’s like extra upset by it, you know.

CAL

Bummer man!

SCOTT

Yeah. Are you after anything?

CAL

Do you have My Little Mermaid?

SCOTT

Nah, Charles got it out a few days ago.

CAL

Are you for real? That’s lame. I

guess I’ll just go watch it at his place. Although last time it got pretty weird when we watched Beauty and the Beast together.

INT. CHARLES LOUNGEROOMFLASHBACK

 

Cal and Charles sit on the couch as Beauty and the Beast

plays on the television. After a short moment, Charles

places his hand on Cal’s knee.

INT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Cal has a frightened look on his face.

Mike enters the store with a bag of food.

CAL

(to mike)

I’m always here for you man. Whatever, whenever. I’m always here if you want to talk about anything.

MIKE

Thanks man, that’s really -

Cal checks his watch.

CAL

But listen, I got to go. I’ll see

you ’round, ’kay mate? See ya.

Later, Scott!

Cal leaves.

SCOTT

I want to be JUST like him.

MIKE

Yeah, he’s something.

Mike begins eating his food behind the counter.

SCOTT

Can I have some?

MIKE

Are you serious? I asked you before I left if you – You know what, here, have some of this and shut up.

SCOTT

Thanks man. I honestly think that Christmas brings out the best in everyone. I mean everyone seems so much happier around Christmas time. Less frowning. Less fights. So calm. It’s such a joyful time.

Suddenly a man with a gun enters the store.

GUNMAN

Oi! listen up.

Mike and Scott raise there hands.

SCOTT

Shit! Holy fuck!

MIKE

What the fuck dude?

GUNMAN

Stay cool fellas, I don’t mean any trouble.

SCOTT

Then why the fuck do you have a

gun?!

GUNMAN

Oi, just listen to me for a second. I don’t mean any trouble, I just need a place to chill out for a bit. To lay low.

MIKE

Then why wouldn’t you just fucking walk in here like a normal person and chill out, why would you see it necessary to announce that you want to chill out in here with a gun aimed in our faces?

GUNMAN

Because I just robbed KMART down

the road and I don’t want the cops to find me!

MIKE

You’re a fucking idiot. I have no

respect for you as a robber, you

should be ashamed of yourself.

GUNMAN

Well I don’t usually go around

stealing shit and holdin’ places up alright, so give me a fuckin’ break. It’s Christmas Eve for fuck sake.

MIKE

Listen, I have no problem with you staying in here, but you’ll have to unload the gun.

GUNMAN

Huh, yeah right, like I’m just

gonna unload the gun. Scott slowly moves his hand to below the counter.

SCOTT

Behind this counter is a silent

alarm that goes straight to the

police station less than a

kilometre away. Unload your gun, orI’m pressing it.

GUNMAN

How do I know you’re not bluffing?

SCOTT

Come look for yourself.

The gunman bends over the counter, where he sees the red button.

GUNMAN

Fuck!

The gunman unloads his gun. Mike and Scott lower their hands. The gunman hands the bullets over to Mike.

MIKE

Now, chill here as long as you want, just don’t cause any trouble, or we will fuck you up.

GUNMAN

Okay, okay. Jeez.

SCOTT

(to gunman)

… he just got dumped.

GUNMAN

What happened?

MIKE

I don’t want to talk about it.

SCOTT

She cheated on him.

GUNMAN

With who?

SCOTT

Tom, from the gym.

GUNMAN

(to Mike)

You go to the gym?

MIKE

What if I do?!

GUNMAN

Doesn’t look like it…

Mike takes the rest of his breakfast and goes outside.

SCOTT

His girlfriend – or ex-girlfriend, goes to the gym.

GUNMAN

That sucks man. Listen I’m sorry

about before. You know how

crazy things get around Christmas, right.

SCOTT

Yeah, all good, sorry about

threatening to kill you with my bare hands.

GUNMAN

I can’t remember you doing that.

 

SCOTT

Oh no. I’m forgetting to say things aloud again. Anyway. What’s your name?

GUNMAN

Kyle Carroll.

SCOTT

Kyle Carroll… THE Kyle Carroll?

KYLE

What do you mean when you put ’the’ before my name? I don’t know how to respond to that.

SCOTT

Did you used to write for the

Courier Mail?

KYLE

Yeah I did.

SCOTT

I loved your work! Why did you

stop?

KYLE

Remember when I compared Mother

Theresa to Hitler?

SCOTT

Yeah!

KYLE

They didn’t like that. No, Siree

they didn’t.

SCOTT

…And now you’re shop-lifting from KMART?

KYLE

Yup, and now I’m shop-lifting from KMART… Anyway, how long have you guys worked in this dump?

SCOTT

Since we bought it eight months

ago.

KYLE

You own this place?

SCOTT

Well yeah, Mike and I go halves in the lotto each week, and we ended up winning a bit under a sixty grand.

KYLE

So you bought a video store?

SCOTT

Well yeah, but I got some other

stuff too.

INT. STRIP CLUB.

Scott sits down in a pimp and dope-as-fuck attire, as he gets dances from four strippers. In front of him are tens lines of coke.

INT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

SCOTT

But yeah, together we decided that we should do the smart thing and invest it into a business.

KYLE

Aren’t they saying that video stores are like a dying business?

SCOTT

Yeah, that’s what they WANT you to think.

KYLE

You run a video store with your

best-friend? That sounds fucking

awesome.

SCOTT

Yeah, well we did host some interviews…

INT. JOE’S VIDEOSFLASHBACK

Mike and Scott sit behind a desk set up in the store. Scott is in his usual, casual attire. Scott is in a three piece suit. Interviewee #1 is a schoolboy, aged 15.

SCOTT

So you’re looking for a first job?

INTERVIEWEE #1

Yeah. I’m free after school, and on the weekends.

SCOTT

But you don’t have any experience.

INTERVIEWEE #1

But I did get really good grades in Math, English and Business.

SCOTT

Yeah, but we need someone with

experience you know. I mean it’s a very important job working in a video store, we can’t just let any-ol’ school boy come here to work. Imagine if they let someone

become the Prime Minister without

having previous employment, just

because they got good grades in

year 10 – the country would go to

the shitter wouldn’t it? Do you

really think we want this place

going to the shitter? We most

certainly do not. I mean, hey,

everyone has the right to dream,

but watch whose toes you step on,

mate. You’re free to go.

Interviewee #1 is left feeling extremely guilty.

INT. JOE’S VIDEOSFLASHBACK

Mike and Scott sit behind a desk set up in the store. Scott is in his usual, casual atire. Scott is in a three piece suit. INTERVIEWEE #2 is a senior citizen, aged 89.

 

SCOTT

You are so old! Your first shift

would be on Tuesday – are you sure you’ll be able to make it ’til Tuesday?

INT. JOE’S VIDEOSFLASHBACK

Mike and Scott sit behind a desk set up in the store. Mike is in his usual, casual clothing. Scott is in a three piece suit. INTERVIEWEE #3 is an extremely hot chick, aged 27.

SCOTT

Are you straight?

INTERVIEWEE #3

Yes…?

SCOTT

Are you single?

 

INTERVIEWEE #3

Yes…?

SCOTT

Do you do anal?

INTERVIEWEE #3

No.

SCOTT

Sorry, we’re looking for something else.

INT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Scott continues talking to Kyle.

SCOTT (CONT’D

But yeah, we just decided to run it ourselves…

EXT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

 

Mike sits against the front of Joe’s Videos as he finishes up his breakfast.

INT. MIKE’S BEDROOMNIGHT BEFORE – 11:30PM

Chloe is in the doorway of mike’s bedroom. Mike stands by his bed.

CHLOE

I fucked him too.

MIKE

Get the fuck out!

CHLOE

You’re so pathetic. Piece of shit. Tom actually knows how to keep a women happy.

EXT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Mike stands and walks inside.

 

INT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Mike enters the store. Kyle is teaching Scott how to juggle.

KYLE

There you go, almost got it!

Scott accidentally drops the balls.

SCOTT

I’m never going to be able to join the circus!

Scott storms out of the store in frustration.

KYLE

(reassuringly to Mike)

He’ll get there

MIKE

Who are you?

KYLE

You mean like what’s my name, or like, who am I on a deeper, spiritual level?

The store phone rings.

MIKE

I don’t even care.

Mike answers the phone.

Kyle leaves the store.

MIKE

Hello?… Yes, Mum… Yes, she

did… Tom, from the gym… No, I

don’t go to the gym, she does…

Alright, thanks Mum, yes… Okay,

I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you

too, bye.

Mike hangs up the phone.

MIKE

Jesus Christ.

There is a customer waiting at the counter. He is in his late 30s.

CUSTOMER #1

Excuse me.

Mike turns around to serve the customer.

MIKE

Hey. Just these ones today?

CUSTOMER #1

Yeah, thanks.

MIKE

Holy shit, Mr. Stevens? It’s me

Mike, you taught my English class a couple of years ago.

MR. STEVENS

Oh hi Mike!

MIKE

So, you just comin’ to get some

movies to watch over Christmas?

That’s cool. What movies you

getting’ out?

Mike begins to notice the titles.

MIKE (CONT’D)

Pussy Power, 8 Inches of Madness

and Penetration Operation. Cool.

MR. STEVENS

Yeah. Just something for the wife. Not for me.

MIKE

You’re married?!

MR. STEVENS

No, no I’m not.

MIKE

Okay… Well that’s 1.95.

Mr. Stevens hands the correct amount over.

MIKE

See ya ’round.

Mike looks out at the floor between the DRAMA and WESTER shelves.

INT. JOE’S VIDEOSFLASHBACK

Mike and Chloe are drinking alcoholic liquids as they sit on the floor, between the DRAMA and WESTERN shelves. They are laughing so much that they are crying.

INT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Mike escapes his daydream and continues to do paperwork at the counter.

Kyle enters the store

KYLE

… So how’s the single life

treatin’ ya?

MIKE

Excuse me?

KYLE

You’re single right… because of

Tom, from the gym…

 

MIKE

Let’s not talk about that. Where’s Scott?

KYLE

He’s outside rollerblading. If you ever want to talk to anyone, I’m aways-

MIKE

I understand that you want to be

nice, but trust me, you’re just

saying that.

KYLE

No, really, if you ever want to

talk, I’m happy to listen. I’ve

been cheated on and I know how if

feels. I KNOW how IT feels.

There is a pause.

MIKE

Well, I guess, it could help if -

Scott enters. He has grazed his knee.

KYLE

Scotty, you’re back!

SCOTT

I fell over, someone get a bandaid!

MIKE

Ah, fuck this. I’m goin’.

Mike gets his skateboard from behind the counter.

EXT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Mike skates on the footpath from outside Joe’s Videos.

EXT. SKATEPARKMOMENTS LATER

Mike skates to the skatepark. There he meets up with Phil and George McKinney, two skater brothers.

PHIL

Dude, there’s no way F.R.I.E.N.D.S is going to last ten seasons. It’ll last maybe two more AT BEST!

GEORGE

Whatever man. You just wait and see.

Mike approaches the fellas.

MIKE

Hey fellas.

GEORGE

Sup man, how ya goin’?

MIKE

Chloe cheated on me last night.

PHIL

No way! That blows.

GEORGE

With who?

MIKE

Tom, from the gym.

PHIL & GEORGE

You go to the gym?

MIKE

No. She does.

PHIL

(to George)

Makes sense.

GEORGE

What’s his last name?

MIKE

Jones.

GEORGE

Tom Jones? That’s one hell of a

name.

MIKE

Yeah, he went to high school with

me.

GEORGE

So he fucked Chloe? That sucks man, what are you going to do about it?

MIKE

Nothing. I mean we broke up, so

there’s nothing I can really do you know?

PHIL

Would you ever kiss and make-up?

GEORGE

What is this a fucking Disney

movie? Don’t encourage the dude to forgive his cheating girlfriend that obviously has a history of displaying absolutely no love or even the minimal amount of affection that should be contributed to a healthy relationship.

(To mike)

But seriously though, would you ever consider it?

MIKE

No! Trust is everything, you know, and what’s a relationship without that?

GEORGE

Good point, hombre.

PHIL

Hey, you know Sarah, right?

MIKE

Yeah, I saw her earlier today.

PHIL

Well, luckily her parents died when she was six, so each year she spends Christmas Eve with friends. Come to her party, it might help get your mind off things.

MIKE

Yeah, she invited me to that. I

might go, but I don’t know, I don’t think I’d be up to it.

GEORGE

When I broke up with Sandra – or

was it Michaela, anyway, definitely when I broke up with Zoe I felt like really sad and shit right? So to help myself get over her I’d change something, like cut my hair, or I’d paint my room, or I’d wash my clothes.

MIKE

That’s a great idea!

GEORGE

Washing your clothes? Yeah it

turned out really well, you should try it sometime. I never thought I’d do it, I’m glad I did.

MIKE

No, painting. It’s a great idea.

The store’s sign is pretty faded.

PHIL

Then go paint the motherfucker!

MIKE

That’s probably not a bad idea.

Cheers dudes.

Mike skates off.

PHIL

Is it gay if a dude sucks my dick?

EXT. PAINT STOREMOMENTS LATER.

Mike arrives at a paint store. He walks in, and then out with paint and paint brushes.

EXT. STREETSIDEMOMENTS LATER.

Mike is skating on the side of the road with a paint tin and brush in each hand.

EXT. JOE’S VIDEOSMOMENTS LATER

Mike enters the store. Scott and Kyle are eating pizza and watching a movie on the store’s television. They resemble a teen couple, as they cuddle under a blanket.

SCOTT

Oh, I love this bit!

MIKE

Am I interrupting something?

KYLE

Shhh!

SCOTT

Great, now I missed it!- oh, hey Mike. What ’s up?

MIKE

Come outside… We’re painting the sign.

Scott’s eyes light up.

SCOTT

We’re painting the sign?

KYLE

You’re painting the sign?

An elder lady customer joins in from the back of the store.

OLD LADY

You’re painting the sign?

INT. BOARDROOM.

A group of suited men surround a conference table. The CEO hangs up a phone.

CEO

They’re painting the sign!

 

INT. NEWS STUDIO.

A news anchor presents the midday news.

NEWS ANCHOR

This just in: They are painting the sign.

INT. SCHOOL HALL.

One student approaches another at the lockers.

STUDENT #1

Hey dude did you hear about Joe’s

Videos?

STUDENT #2

Yeah, they’re painting the sign!

Another student overhears the conversation.

STUDENT #3

They’re painting the sign!

EXT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

Mike, Scott and Kyle are outside Joe’s Videos, looking up at the sign. There are two ladders leading to the roof. Scott drops his paintbrush.

SCOTT

Fuck this.

Scott begins to roll back inside.

MIKE

Scott!

Scott rolls back.

KYLE

All I wanted was to stay inside.

Mike hands Scott a paintbrush.

MIKE

Be cool, man.

Mike walks inside.

SCOTT

I am cool…

Mike returns to the front of Joe’s Videos with a boom box.

He turns on the radio.

EXT. JOE’S VIDEOS – AN HOUR LATER

Half the sign is painted. Mike is painting, Scott is sitting on a chair as he uses a reflector to help him tan, and Kyle does Thai Chi. An extremely attractive girl walks by the three young men. Their heads and eyes follow her as she passes.

KYLE

Eight point five.

SCOTT

Nine.

Another girl walks pass.

KYLE

Six point five.

SCOTT

Seven point five.

A guy walks pass.

SCOTT

Eight.

Kyle stares at Scott for a second.

KYLE

I’d say seven.

A girl walks into the store.

SCOTT

Mike.

MIKE

Yeah?

SCOTT

Customer.

MIKE

Great…

Mike steps down from the ladder, places his brush and paint tin down, wipes his hands and walks inside.

INT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

The cute customer looks at the video tapes. Mike walks behind the counter. After a short moment she calls out.

CUTE CUSTOMER

Hi.

MIKE

Hey. Can I help you with something?

CUTE CUSTOMER

Yeah, do you have The Shawshanke Redemption?

Mike is stunned at her excellent taste.

MIKE

Drama, fourth from the right on the top shelf.

CUTE CUSTOMER

Thanks.

The cute customer brings The Shawshanke Redemption to the counter.

MIKE

Great choice. You seen it before?

CUTE CUSTOMER

Like a zillion times! Better than Pulp Fiction

MIKE

Really, you think so? I don’t know if I’d go that far.

CUTE CUSTOMER

Well, understanding that they are

two very different films, I’d still have to say that I think I liked The Shawshanke Redemption more. Pulp Fiction you get to see a bunch of characters develop over a few days – which is awesome and Tarantino does it extremely well, but with The Shawshanke Redemption you get to see a handful of characters develop over like twenty years. I’d much rather see the latter. I kind of feel like I bond with the characters, you know? Do you get that?

MIKE

I guess.

CUTE CUSTOMER

Anyway, I’m babbling far too much, I should really-

MIKE

What’s your name?

CUTE CUSTOMER

Courtney.

MIKE

I’m Mike.

There is a short pause.

MIKE

Oh! That’s 75 cents.

Courtney hands him the change. Mike hands her the tape.

MIKE

There you go.

COURTNEY

Thanks. Merry Christmas!

MIKE

Merry Christmas.

Mike watches her as she leaves.

EXT. JOE’S VIDEOSMOMENTS LATER

The Mike and Kyle are up on the ladders. Scott is rollerblading around them.

MIKE

This is really starting to look

good!

Chloe walks along the footpath and stops when she arrives at the entrance of Joe’s Videos. Scott stops rollerblading when he notices her.

SCOTT

(coughs)

Slut!

Mike notices Chloe.

CHLOE

Hi Mike.

SCOTT

Fuck off, bitch.

CHLOE

Mike, can I talk to you inside?

Chloe enters the store.

Mike follows her inside.

INT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

MIKE

What do you want?

CHLOE

I just wanted to say sorry. I was really drunk last night.

MIKE

I know.

CHLOE

So… are we still okay?

MIKE

Get the fuck out.

CHLOE

Excuse me?

MIKE

Did I stutter? Get the fuck out.

CHLOE

I don’t understand how you can just say something-

MIKE

and I don’t understand how you

can suck a guy’s penis, after

fucking him, and still pretend that you want to be with me. Seriously, you’re fucked up and sure, you hurt me, and I’ll probably be hurt for a long time, but it’s not because I want to be with you, it’s because I wish I still wanted to be with you. But I don’t. Because I’m not into tramps. So sorry I’m not some Hugh-Grant-in-Notting-Hill-that-takes-a-girl-back-no-matter-what. I’m a real person, and I don’t know what kind of fairy-tale world you live in, and what kind of ending you wanted to this, but we were together for almost two years, and you CHEATED on me. Do you really think that I’m just going to forget that? No, I won’t ever forget it. In fact, in ten-or-more-years it’ll probably be the only thing I remember you by. And you call me pathetic?

Chloe leaves.

EXT. JOE’S VIDEOS.

As chloe exits the store, Scott throws a tin of paint on her.

CHLOE

What the fuck?!

SCOTT

Sorry. Slipped.

Chloe storms away.

Mike then exits the store.

SCOTT

How did that go?

MIKE

Fine. Lets go to that party tonight.

INT. SARAH’S PARTYNIGHT.

This party scene lasts for thirty-three minutes.

Sarah’s party is in a mansion. There are hundreds of guests. There’s a dance off. There’s fireworks. Scott is in an orgy. Mike snorts cocaine off Sarah’s ass. Scott and Mike play Russian roulette. Scott has a snake wrapped around his neck. Mike is dressed in women’s clothing. Mike is in the pool with five girls on each side of him. Scott deals drugs to a group of eight graders. Mike shaves his head.

 


Joe's Videos

  • ISBN: 9781370582174
  • Author: Jake Connor Moss
  • Published: 2016-08-14 07:35:10
  • Words: 5895
Joe's Videos Joe's Videos