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I Wanna Be Happy

p.

In 6 simple steps!

P R E F A C E

Like you, I too wanted to be happy. Everybody wants to, but

very few really live their life with joy. Most people don’t

even know what happiness is, but they are in search of it. I

was looking for joy and read book after book; each one

giving me a formula that was not very different from the

other. But somehow, it was not something practical that I

could put into action and would guarantee me happiness. So

many authors, so many books, all great books that made me

feel good, but left me thirsty for true happiness!

After reading books on happiness by many successful

authors and philosophers, I asked myself, “How can I be

happy? What is happiness? Is there a way that can guarantee

happiness?” I even set out on a retreat, leaving the world

behind to introspect with all the possible research material

that I could carry with me. My research material included

Dalai Lama’s The Art Of Happiness, J. P. Vaswani’s _Secrets _

of Health and Happiness and several other books, articles,

audio books and DVDs. I armed myself with all the possible

ammunition on happiness I could find to start my research.

And then the ‘aha moment’ dawned in me and I discovered

how to be happy. So I titled my findings as _’I Wanna Be _

_Happy’. _

W ho doesn’t want to be happy? Everybody wants to, but look

around and you will find people in a race to find something

that will give them happiness. People are confused between

pleasures and everlasting joy. They don’t even know what

true happiness means, though they feel it and want it. When I

found a way to be happy, I realized that I had discovered a

simple secret; a formula, which anybody who truly wanted

to be happy could use to dance with joy for the rest of their

lives. My script is not complicated. In fact, it is so simple,

that one might wonder – could such simplicity lead us to

such a profound destination called happiness? Yes, it can!

Whether you are someone pursuing happiness or one who is

quite content but wanting to be happier, or someone deeply

sunk in sorrow and misery, this book will unlock the doors to

happiness.

Different people find themselves in different circumstances

at different stages of their lives.

Ÿ Some just feel they are plain unlucky and can’t be happy.

Ÿ Some are surrounded by people who just make them

miserable.

Ÿ Some are suffering from diseases that create pain and

makes them feel hopeless.

Ÿ Some are so unhappy that they can’t even smile.

Ÿ Some are overburdened with problems and challenges

that they push happiness away.

Ÿ Some have just slipped into sorrow after a long episode of

joy that disappeared into thin air.

Ÿ Some are happy at this point, but fear that they are going

to lose their joy.

Ÿ Some are happy this moment and unhappy the next

moment, and life is usually a yo-yo between joy and

sorrow.

And then, there are others who are neither happy nor

unhappy, but are still chasing happiness.

Different people are in different states of being and there

may be thousands of people who may not fit into the above

descriptions. But one thing is for sure – _everybody wants to _

be happy and the good news is that it is not difficult to be

happy.

I have discovered the magic of happiness and I consider

myself to be the happiest man on earth today. You too can be

happy, if you program your mind using the _’I Wanna Be _

_Happy’ _ techniques mentioned in my book. Read this book

with sincerity and put the principles described in it into

action. Your life then will be transformed and unhappiness

will be a thing of the past. Misery and sorrow will not be on

your daily agenda, if only you start each day with the

commitment [_’I wanna be happy!’ _]

C O N T E N T S

Chapter 1: What Is Happiness?

2

Chapter 2: The 6 Steps To Happiness

9

Chapter 3: The 1st Step – Desire To Be Happy

14

Chapter 4: The 2nd Step – Discover What Makes You Happy

18

Chapter 5: The 3rd Step – Do It Now! Pull Your Happiness Triggers! 24

Chapter 6: The 4th Step – Beware Of Joy Stealers

58

Chapter 7: The 5th Step – Bounce Back With Faith And Hope

66

Chapter 8: The Final Step – Be Happy Always! It’s A Choice

69

Summary

77

[*What is happiness? *]

Happiness is an emotion –

a strong feeling that makes us feel good

*and brings a smile on our face. *

1

CHAPTER 1

[*WHAT IS HAPPINESS? *]

While the question is very simple, the answer is profound.

Though the question is one, the answers are many. This is

because happiness is different for different people. But what is

Happiness?

Happiness is an emotion, a strong feeling that makes one

enjoy and feel good. It is a feeling that makes one’s heart dance

and eyes twinkle. Happiness creates excitement and builds

positive energy. It makes us smile, laugh and creates cheer.

So, while different people may define their happiness in

different words, the emotion that is born in all, is the same. It is

a strong feeling of joy, pleasure, contentment and fulfillment.

Different things make different people happy.

Ÿ

A millionaire could be happy making his next million.

Ÿ

A teacher may find happiness in the examination results of

the students.

Ÿ

A singer is joyous when the audience applauds.

Ÿ

Politicians become happy when they win an election.

Since different things make different people happy, this

cannot be generalized. I may find happiness in solitude, while

you may find it in the buzzing excitement of a city. And this

may change with time. So what makes me happy today may

not make me happy tomorrow. So clearly, people become

happy with different things and at different points of time in

their life.

It is a myth that ONLY money makes people happy. Surely,

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money gives pleasure, but pleasure need not create

everlasting joy. Not all rich people are happy and not all poor

people unhappy. Though some people have a few material

possessions, they are content and live a life filled with joy

and fulfillment. *Happiness does not depend on what you *

*have. It depends on how you feel. You may have *

*everything and yet be unhappy or you may have nothing *

*and be happy. * So what is Happiness then?

I am Happy today – truly Happy! I have shut down my

business and live my life doing humanitarian, spiritual and

inspirational work. Although I have ended my commercial

life chasing millions, I have found true joy and happiness in

what I do now. This is due to my current aspirations which

give me joy, bliss and contentment. The happiness I derive

by doing what I do now is fulfilling. It is everlasting joy!

This, I discovered, is true happiness.

Happiness is not just about momentary pleasures. One may

be happy eating a chocolate. But that is just momentary. The

pleasure soon dies as time flies. True happiness is a feeling

that lasts for a long period. If I view a pleasure as a little lake

in my life, I would view true happiness as an endless ocean.

There could be islands of unhappiness, but these would

dissolve in the ocean of joy.

Material pleasures, of course, make us happy, but do they

create unending pleasure? They can make us happy for the

moment, but they fail to create fulfillment or grant us the

peace of mind that takes us to the peak of the happiness

mountain. Therefore, what is happiness? It is being able to

do things that create joy and bliss which are not temporary.

True happiness is living a life of satisfaction, contentment,

joy and peace. It brings a sense of fulfillment in whatever

one does.

3

Are you happy? Are you truly content with what you do and

how you feel? Do you wake up every morning looking

forward to life? Does whatever you do make your eyes

twinkle? Does your work make your heart dance? Does the

‘feel-good factor’ last most of your day, your week, your

month, your year and your life or are you struggling through

life, not feeling good about what you are doing? Are you

dissatisfied with your career? Are you unhappy about life?

What is the state of your mind? Are you peaceful with those

around you or is your life in turmoil? Reflection on these

situations will indicate whether you are in a state of

Happiness or Unhappiness.

Though it is possible for others to share their emotion or

feeling of happiness with you, understand that only you can

feel your own happiness, since it is uniquely personal and

exclusively yours. Only you can decide whether you are

happy or not. Yes, like any other emotion, the energy that

flows out of you visibly indicates how you feel. Besides, it is

not very difficult to make out whether somebody is happy or

not.

Suppose you see a person smiling, dancing and cheerfully

walking by, would you consider such a person to be

unhappy? On the contrary, if you see a person with a frown,

spiteful, agitated, irritated, angry and upset, would you

consider such a person to be happy? So, happiness is a state

of mind which reveals itself through one’s behavior and

action.

Are you truly happy? Do you too want to discover the 6

simple steps that will guarantee happiness for the rest of

your life?

4

Remember, it’s a choice unlike what most people say feel or

believe. They might say that they are doomed by bad luck or

that their life is meant to be full of unhappiness and misery,

but I have discovered that happiness is a choice. Yes, you can

choose to be happy all the time, if only you discover the 6

simple steps that will give you everlasting joy.

*As you start your happiness journey, you will find *

[*pleasures, joy, bliss and fulfillment along the way. *]Before

you encounter them, understand how each will contribute to

your being happy.

[*Pleasures *]are little spurts of happiness that come from doing

little things. You enjoy eating an ice cream, going for a

movie or playing a game of golf. These don’t last for long.

They are temporary, but they make us happy. As long as

these pleasures have no side effects, they are fine and must

be welcomed in the happiness journey.

[*Joy *]is a little deeper and a little stronger. It is something that

you aspire, dream of and then it happens. It is a wish that has

come true. It is more than just a little pleasure that comes

from a little treat. It lasts longer and gives you more

happiness than pleasures would. You are waiting for

Christmas, preparing for it, then it happens and you are so

excited – that is joy. You are planning a cruise and after a

month, you are finally sailing – that is joy. While these give

you lot of joy, the joy is not perpetual. As time passes, the

fragrance of this joy diminishes with other attractions and

distractions of life.

Bliss is extreme pleasure and joy. It gives a feeling of

“Wow!”. It is those pleasures that give you tremendous

happiness and those joys that make you dance. Bliss lies on

the top of the happiness mountain – the peak. You want to

5

meet your favourite movie star; it is more like a dream. If it is

not just meeting, but you get to spend a whole day with your

star, your joy is overflowing. You are elated, excited, thrilled

beyond your wildest expectation. That is bliss! Bliss also has

another side of extreme joy. Bliss comes at the start of

fulfillment, doing things that go deep within your heart and

soul and pull a cord. Bliss is deeply internalised. The effect

of bliss, unless like a pleasure or joy lasts much longer. Bliss

can be recalled easily and revisited in a flash of a moment.

For example, music can make your heart dance – It gives you

pleasure, it gives you joy; but most of all, music makes you

blissful. It leads you to tranquillity. It makes you feel

intoxicated. To many, meeting their spiritual master gives

bliss instantly. The happiness that flows out of a blissful

experience is like a river that keeps flowing or a blanket of

fog that envelops one. The effect of bliss lasts much longer

and the thought of blissful joy is enough to transport one into

heavenly happiness.

[*Fulfillment *]is the nirvana or moksha or the ‘ultimate

destination’ of Happiness. It is state

a

of being ever blissful.

You don’t arrive there as it is not a destination, but you

transcend to this peak. The one who has fulfillment

understands what the little pleasures are. Such an individual

does not feel the lack of pleasure in its absence and enjoys it

when it is present, but never focuses on it. fulfillment is

finding pleasure in everything one does and so pleasure

exists at all times. Pleasure merges into joy because every

experience creates happiness. fulfillment is a feeling of

everlasting and perpetual happiness. There is bliss in all one

does because one’s thoughts, feelings, actions and attitude

are programmed to be happy. fulfillment supersedes the

negative emotions that create unhappiness. It focuses on

6

blissful moments that give true joy that lasts on and on.

fulfillment is deep contentment in the heart. It is desire that

does not lead to disappointment, for it is accompanied by

acceptance and surrender. As it suggests, when one is

fulfilled, one is full and filled with pleasure, joy and bliss.

There is no space for sorrow to enter and one evolves into a

state of mystical happiness, cheer, enthusiasm and peace

that surpasses the common pleasures on earth.

On the happiness journey, you must encounter all of these

and transcend from pleasures to joy, from joy to bliss and

from bliss to fulfillment. At first, material possessions will

make you happy. But as you climb from peak to peak, you

will find joy without prosperity, bliss without possessions

and fulfillment emerging from deep within your heart and

soul.

7

Pleasures are little spurts of

happiness that come from

*doing little things. *

Joy is

a little deeper

*and a little stronger. *

Bliss is extreme

*pleasure and joy. *

Fulfillment is the nirvana

*or moksh of happiness. *

This is a state of being

*ever blissful. *

8

CHAPTER 2

THE 6 STEPS TO HAPPINESS

In my quest for happiness, I discovered that anybody could

be happy, if only they knew what happiness is and then went

about achieving it systematically. Happiness is as simple as

making a cup of tea, but even making a cup of tea involves a

recipe or a process. If one does not follow the process or

steps, it would be impossible to prepare a good cup of tea.

Likewise, it is the same with happiness.

Anybody can be happy. You don’t have to be the richest

person on earth to be happy. For all you know, the richest

person on earth may also be the unhappiest that ever lived.

Of course, money can give you pleasures, but money cannot

directly buy you happiness. While the lack of money can

result in not having material possessions which may make us

dissatisfied, it is not necessarily true that poverty is

guaranteed to make you unhappy. In this materialistic world,

it is pragmatic and important to have a decent earning. But,

one must be aware that material prosperity is not directly

proportionate to happiness. So move on without worrying

about how much money you have. Whatever be your

material possessions or earnings or wealth, you can still be

happy.

As long as you have a deep aspiration to be happy, you can be

happy. If you don’t want to be happy, then you may have all

the money in the world, and yet remain unhappy. So the 1st

Step towards happiness is to want it.

9

Once you wanna be happy, the next step is to know what

makes you happy. _If you don’t know what will make you _

[_happy, how can you ever be happy? _] Every happiness seeker

must learn this 2nd Step in the journey to happiness. Once

you desire happiness and know exactly what will make you

happy, then you are progressing in your journey towards

happiness and need to move on to the 3rd step.

The 3rd Step is having the courage to do what it takes to be

happy. It is not enough to just want happiness and know what

will make you happy. If you do not take action, happiness

will continue to remain a distant dream.

Halfway through, one must analyze if the process is working

and if the goal is half achieved. Surely, there will be some

bottlenecks and problems in your journey that will try to

hold you back from your dream of being happy. You must

confront and defeat them to progress in the path to

happiness. Discover this in the 4th Step.

While it is simple for anyone to follow these 4 steps and

reach closer to the peak of happiness, there may be a few

unfortunate ones who are deep in sorrow as if the quicksand

of misery is holding them back from their aspiration of

happiness. Well, for them the 5th Step is the most important

step that will reveal, how they can escape from the prison of

unhappiness and how they can rejuvenate their lives to

create new hope for joy. Yes, it is possible, but before

attempting the first 4 steps, this group needs to visit the 5th

step and then start the journey. The reason I insist on step

number 5 is because many of us are entangled in this slot and

we need to get out of it. Therefore, it is very important for

10

this step to be part of the 6 steps of the happiness journey.

People in this step are in a different state of mind. They are

deeply buried in sorrow. Their life is surrounded by misery.

They wish to be happy, but can they find happiness? Is there

hope, even though they seem to be deeply immersed in

unhappiness? Yes, anybody can be happy, but they must first

learn to bounce back to life. Once they do, they can follow

the steps that will guarantee happiness and transform their

lives.

And then finally, we arrive at the Sixth Step. It is easy to be

happy occasionally, but how do you remain happy all the

time? This is the magic we discover in the sixth step where

each of us can decide how we want our life to be. Happiness

need not be a flavor of the month. It is something that can be

yours forever.

So far, I have only given you a small glimpse of the journey

to happiness; it is not the journey itself. You must read each

chapter to understand each step and then put it into action.

Once you do, happiness is guaranteed. It cannot escape you,

if you sincerely adapt your life to these six steps.

The moment you stop following the process to find

happiness, you may sink into sorrow. The choice is yours! If

you don’t like the fruit you are growing, you must change the

seeds that you are sowing. And for this, you must have the

courage to change. Only then can you be truly happy!

Happiness is the most important thing in life. Almost

everything that people do in their lives is done to make them

happy. They make money so that material prosperity gives

them joy. They work hard to build name and fame so that the

11

popularity keeps them excited and happy. They chase lofty

dreams and accomplish achievements so that it gives them a

sense of fulfillment and brings them happiness.

If only people knew that there is a shortcut to happiness

which they could easily discover, and it comprised of six

simple steps that would guarantee joy; then they would

escape a complicated life and live simply but happily for the

rest of their lives. Happiness is not a distant dream, if only

we know what it means and how we can achieve it. Let us

start the journey to discover the 6 steps towards everlasting

joy, one by one.

12

*Be Happy *

*Be *

[*Always! *]

*Happy *

It’

[*Always! s *]

[*It’ a *]

s Choice

*a *

*Bounce Back *

*Bounce *

*With *

*Back *

F

*With aith *

F

*And *

*aith *

Hope

*And *

*Beware Of *

*Beware Joy *

*Of *

Stealers

*Joy *

Pull Y

*Pull our *

Y

*Happiness *

*our *

T

[*Happiness riggers! *]

T

*Discover What *

*Discover *

*Makes *

*What *

Y

*Makes ou *

Y

Happy

*ou *

Desire T

*Desire o *

*T Be *

*o *

Happy

*Be *

13

CHAPTER 3

st

THE 1 STEP

DESIRE TO BE HAPPY

Do you truly want to be happy, or are you lost in the turmoil of

life, doing things that really don’t matter? Have you thought of

happiness? There are people who keep doing what they are

doing and continue achieving what they are achieving.

Happiness is not a priority for them, so it escapes them. But

there are some, who stop and ask, “Why am I doing what I am

doing? Why is it that I don’t have a sense of satisfaction from

what I am doing?” And this makes them ponder further. Many

of them introspect and then create in them the passion of

wanting to be happy. Finding a source of joy and happiness is

far more important to them now, than doing what they have

been doing. They have started the journey to happiness. They

have taken the first step to happiness because they DESIRE to

be happy.

Unfortunately, though most people in this world actually want

to be happy, they are too caught up in what they are doing, that

they forget happiness. Life escapes them and at the fag end of it,

they look back and realize that they were never happy! They

were just busy accomplishing their goals, and the pleasures that

followed one after the other because their achievements, kept

them happy for a little while. Finally, they realize that they were

just temporary pleasures, which did not lead to happiness.

So, before life escapes you, it is important to stop and analyze

what will give you true joy forever. Of course, we all become

happy momentarily with little trinkets that life throws at us. But

14

this is not true joy. In fact, these distract us from the true

happiness of life.

If you wanna be happy, the first step is to be passionate about

wanting happiness and to place it above everything else.

Those who are on the journey need to reprioritize their lives

by doing what makes them truly happy, by escaping from the

maze of life that traps and consumes them. Yes, most of us

get so consumed by life that we lose the desire to be happy.

We are busy, but what are we busy with? Soon, we realize

that it was a big mistake being busy with what did not matter.

What should have mattered the most was happiness, and that

was never a priority! Those who realize this are most

fortunate. They stop and tell themselves, “I wanna be

happy.” They make changes in their lives. They chart a new

course that will bring them joy, bliss and happiness. Those

who truly want to be happy must eliminate all the ‘ifs’ and

‘buts’ from their lives. They ought to make a decision to be

happy today, no matter what. There is no tomorrow. They

make a decision to be happy today, anyhow! On their

journey to happiness, they burn all the exit routes so that they

don’t give themselves any options for turning back, only to

be consumed by life.

If you wanna be happy, make happiness a priority. More

important than anything else is happiness. Keep telling

yourself: “I wanna be happy.” Put this slogan up everywhere

you go and on everything that you see. Everything that you

do must have one objective – Happiness. Then, you have

surely started the journey towards everlasting joy.

The moment you embark on the happiness journey, there

15

will be many to discourage you or question you on the

soundness of your intention and action. To them, happiness

as a goal is weird! They are so busy doing so many important

things, that happiness is never a priority. While you

transform, there will be many roadblocks, chains and

magnets that will try to hold you back and stop you. But if

you have started the journey in earnest, then there is nothing

that can hold you back.

It is time to move on to the next step because you have now

become someone who wants to be truly happy. You are

obsessed about happiness and passionate about it. Like me,

nothing else matters to you too. You just desire be happy.

The second step is to find out what makes you happy.

Te

T ll

yo

y urself

everyday

“I wanna be

Happy!”

16

If you want happiness for an

*hour, take a nap. *

*If you want happiness for a day, *

*go for a picnic. *

If you want happiness for a

*month, get married. *

If you want happiness for a

*lifetime, keep helping others. *

42

17

CHAPTER 4

nd

THE 2 STEP

DISCOVER WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

You have started on the happiness journey, and you have

made up your mind that you wanna be happy. Your desire is

strong. It’s a passion; it’s an obsession. You have now moved

to the next step – Discover what makes you Happy.

One actually has to delve into the past to find out what really

gave one joy so that one may discover what will make one

truly happy. While trying to discover what will make you

happy, you cannot forget the past, nor can you ignore the

present, for things have changed. You must also keep the

future in perspective as to where your desires for tomorrow

lie. Your list of things that made you happy must first come

from the past, and that comes through reflection and

introspection. Then, add that list to what currently gives you

joy and bliss. Once done, you can get presumptive and start

assuming what will give you true joy in the future.

You make the list to differentiate between the small

pleasures of life, and those things that give you true joy.

Small pleasures will last for a few moments, but there are

some joys that are everlasting. When you have an ice cream

or a good meal, it will give you pleasure for a few moments.

But probably buying a new home will give you true joy that

will last much longer. A hobby, a relationship, will fall into a

category that will probably give you eternal joy. Some

people find joy in music, some in romance, and some in

spiritual and humanitarian endeavors. Others find bliss in

pets, material possessions, physical relationships and even

solitude. You don’t have to worry about what makes others

happy. Dancing, talking to people, rejoicing in the beauty of

nature and shopping are some things that may bring

happiness to some. For others, it may just be the job that they

18

love doing. Each of the above might be more specific for

you. It could be enjoying a game of Golf, or dancing Salsa,

or strolling in the beach or playing with a Golden Retriever.

Remember, this is ‘your own’ happiness list. It does not

matter what others feel about this. You have to discover what

makes You happy.

So start with the past and write out that list – ‘what actually

made you happy’. The first step is to make a list.

TABLE 1

[*What made you happy in the past? *]

GRADE

(Use introspection and reflection)

  • H / J / B / F

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

[ H – Happy J – Joy B – Bliss F – Fulfillment*]

19

Review all those memories of joy. It was not just material

achievements that gave you happiness; it was more often the

finer things like emotions and feelings that gave you true

happiness in life. Take your time, but list the greatest joys of

your past.

Once you have finished, fill out one more table (TABLE 2).

‘The greatest joys of the present’. Include whatever gives

you extreme joy. It could be anything; your job, your

hobbies, your relationships, the people you meet, the way

you spend your time, your recreation, your home or your

TABLE 2

GRADE

Greatest joys of the present

H / J / B / F

*

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

[ H – Happy J – Joy B – Bliss F – Fulfillment*]

20

work place. Analyze every bit of your present, to discover

your present joys.

Once through, peep into the future. Put on your imagination

hat and visualize those things that in reality will make you

happy in the months and years to come. This is not a wish

list, but rather a list of those simple things that will truly

TABLE 3

*What will make you happy in the *

GRADE

[*future – IMAGINE! *]

  • H / J / B / F

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

[ H – Happy J – Joy B – Bliss F – Fulfillment*]

21

make you happy based on your past and present and as you

would like your future to be.

Now, you have compiled three lists of what makes you

happy. The next step is to grade the Tables 1 to 4.

Against each item in the table, choose one of the following:

1. H – if this gives you a lot of Happiness

2. J – if the happiness is extreme Joy

3. B – if the happiness envelops you in a state of Bliss

4. F – if the happiness is everlasting and leads you to

Fulfillment

You may be surprised at your grading. Many truths will

surface from your past, present and future aspirations. Once

you have graded your list, it’s time to eliminate and cut down

the list to 10 things that will make you the happiest. You have

nearly completed the discovery on what makes you happy.

The final step is to try and prioritize these 10 things. Number

them from 1 to 10 based on the amount of happiness you

derive from each of them. You now have the final list to

reflect upon. Look at it and be sure that you have narrowed

down and identified your happiness list. If you do not

discover what will make you happy, then you can never be

happy. You may be passionate, but without focus, your

passion will disintegrate. Sure, this list might change

gradually as time goes by, but one can modify it. But, doing

the list with a three dimensional perspective of the past,

present and future will eliminate the risk of a total makeover.

This is your happiness list and you need to make a final

review before putting your stamp on it. So look at it one last

time, word it out perfectly and there you are!

Bingo! You have discovered what makes you happy!

By now, you feel it is your passion that is adding excitement

to your happiness journey. So far, you have finished only

two steps – you desire to be happy and you have discovered

what makes you happy. Now, it’s time to move on to the next

step.

22

A word of caution – whatever forms your happiness list, you

are going to broadcast it, publicize it and make it known.

Therefore, don’t put anything in that list which is unethical or

unfair or anything that you have to be ashamed about. After

all, you must be proud about what makes you happy and if

there is something negative, it is time for review and

correction, for nothing negative can ever lead you to

perpetual joy.

*TABLE 4 *

[*YOUR MOST VALUABLE TREASURETHE HAPPINESS LIST *]

TOP 10 THINGS THAT

GRADE

  • MAKE YOU HAPPY *

1 to 10

(based on past, present and future)

1

2

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CHAPTER 5

rd

THE 3 STEP

[*DO IT NOW! *]

[*PULL YOUR HAPPINESS TRIGGERS! *]

Wow! You have your happiness list in your hands. You have

the recipe for joy and bliss.

Is it enough to make you happy? Of course not!

It’s the 3rd step that is truly going to give you joy. The third

step is, ‘Do it now. Pull your happiness triggers’. Based on

your discovery, you now have a happiness list. Doing these

things will surely give you happiness. But, just looking at the

list is not enough. You must do it. For instance, music gives

me tremendous joy. I know it and I have experienced it, but I

have not gone to a concert in months. I haven’t taken the time

to listen to my favorite music for weeks. How can I be

happy? I know that music makes me happy. Now to be

happy, I must press the button since music to my ears is sugar

to my soul. Music makes my heart dance, so I must pull this

trigger of happiness as often as I can.

I call them triggers because it is not enough to load a gun

with bullets. To hit the target, you need to pull the trigger.

There are many people who truly want to be happy and they

know exactly what makes them happy, but unfortunately

they do just the opposite. Happiness is a distant dream, an

illusion and a destination they always yearn to reach. If only,

we pull the happiness triggers and do the things that give us

joy, our lives will be transformed. Happiness will no longer

be a destination. It will become the journey itself. If we

intelligently make our happiness list, we can have joy and

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bliss everyday in our lives by pulling the happiness triggers

with passion. Of course, there will be blockages and

problems that may stop us. But we must be committed to

doing what makes us happy.

Happiness is a commitment and with half the journey

completed, one must keep one’s passion and persistence

alive. Put your happiness list everywhere. Put it on your

laptop, in your mobile phone, in your purse, at your office, in

your home and even in your toilet. First you make an effort to

create the happiness list. Once done, the happiness list will

push you to get into action. These are your personal

happiness triggers.

But there are some happiness triggers which are universal.

These are common triggers that you may want to add to your

list to make you happy. If the triggers you have chosen are

unrealistic or secondary, you can reconstruct your list,

reviewing the universal happiness triggers. These universal

happiness triggers are guaranteed to give you joy, bliss and

happiness. After all, happiness is a simple matter and we can

control our feelings, by choosing positive emotions that will

trigger positive attitude, thoughts and habit. These positive

emotions are sure to generate happy feelings. Some of the

Universal happiness triggers which follow will surely work

for you too and will trigger happiness in your life.

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Happiness Trigger 1

Make Others Happy

Compassion is sure to trigger happiness. When you care for

others and take action by making them happy, you are sure to

create joy for yourself. Happiness shared is happiness

doubled, just like sorrow shared is sorrow halved. When you

make others happy, you automatically become happy. It is a

natural human tendency and is born from either being

generous and magnanimous or from compassion. Dada J. P.

Vaswani says, “Happiness has no permanent address, but it

always dwells with those who live for others.”Yes indeed,

the hand that gives the rose, cannot but escape without

retaining a little of the fragrance.

Do you want to be happy – then do it now! Pull this

happiness trigger. Go and make someone happy and you will

be happy immediately. It may be an employee, a friend, a

family member or a complete stranger. It’s very easy to make

someone happy. A smile, a word of appreciation, some kind

of help or even a chocolate can make someone happy. That is

all that it takes to generate happiness and the moment you do

it, you will be happy too. It is a sure way to perpetual bliss

and happiness.

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Happiness

has no permanent address,

but it always dwells with those

who live for others.

~ Dada J.P. Vaswani

27

Happiness Trigger 2

React Positively

We must realize that 10% of life is what happens to us and

90% of it depends on our reactions. Often, somebody close

to us says something harsh, unfair and unreasonable. Can we

control their actions? No, we can’t! But we can react

Positively! We can choose a Positive attitude. Instead we

choose to react negatively and lose the Joy in our life. Our

negative emotions don’t stop there. We spoil the present

moment and pass this on to other people too. We take it with

us through the streets and to our work place. Our colleagues,

customers and associates feel the negative attitude because

we are oozing with negative energy. Later, when we meet

friends, we are still negative.

What created this huge amount of negative energy?

Stop and reflect!

A small trigger made us react negatively. If we are positive,

we would not react this way. We would be careful and pull a

positive trigger, thereby reacting positively.

While we cannot control others’ actions, we can surely

control our reactions, because they are our reactions. It is a

universal law that those who react positively are happy.

Those who live with a negative attitude will always attract

unpleasantness, misery and sorrow. Imagine living a life

with love, hope, faith, confidence, forgiveness and

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compassion; how can you be unhappy because you are

reacting with positive energy all the time? Instead, if you

live with anger, hate, worry, cynicism, indifference, fear and

jealousy, these negative emotions will trigger enough poison

to make your life miserable and keep it that way.

So if you wanna be happy, pull this happiness trigger and

don’t delay; do it now. React positively. Choose positive

emotions. Eliminate the negative energy completely and

you are sure to be happy.

Yo

Y ur reactions

are

yo

y ur choice!

React positively

and be h appy.

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We cannot direct

the winds,

But, we can adjust

our sails.

We cannot control

other people’s actions,

but we can control

our own reactions.

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Happiness Trigger 3

Count Your Blessings

This trigger is guaranteed to make you happy. So do it

now; count your blessings. And how does one do this? Just

look around and be grateful for all you have as compared to

others. It is very easy to count our troubles and most of us do

it. We are always making a list of what we don’t have rather

than counting what we have. I love these words that I read

years ago:

“I had the blues, because I had no shoes

_Until upon the street, I found a man _

[_who had no feet.” _]

In fact, there is this beautiful hymn, ‘Count your blessings’

Count your blessings

Name them one by one

Count your blessings

See what God has done

When upon life’s journey

you are tempest tossed

When you are discouraged

Thinking all is lost

Count your many blessings

Name them one by one

And it will surprise you

What the Lord has done

Are you ever burdened

with a load of care

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Does the work seem heavy

you are called to bear

Count your many blessings

Every doubt will fly

And you will be singing

As the days go by

Count your blessings

Name them one by one

Count your blessings

See what God has done

Count your blessings

Name them one by one

Count your many blessings

See what God has done

When you count your blessings and are grateful for what you

have, you immediately become happy. Of course, there are

tough times. Everyone has them. _A problem free life is an _

_illusion and does not exist. _ But, just because we have

problems, there is no need to be unhappy.

What does this trigger ‘count your blessings’ do? When you

pull this trigger, it changes your focus from criticism to

appreciation, from ungratefulness to thankfulness, from

cynicism to cheerfulness and from greed to contentment. So

do it now. Pull this trigger and start counting your blessings.

You have two eyes, two hands and two feet. Many don’t have

these. Are you grateful for what you have? Do you count

your blessings? I always count my blessings and it gives me

tremendous happiness, beyond what material pleasures can

give and I become overjoyed. So I keep pulling this trigger.

Why don’t you try it, do it now and you too will find joy.

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I had the blues

_because I had no shoes, _

Until upon the street

I found a man

_who had no feet. _

_Count your Blessings _

_and Be Happy. _

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Happiness Trigger 4

Program Your Thoughts And Actions

This is a happiness trigger that works for many. Try it. It may

work for you. Program your thoughts and actions through

positive energy power. Many people think that they cannot

control their thoughts and therefore their feelings. Sure, we

cannot control thoughts, but we can definitely influence

them. This can happen, if we program our thoughts, feelings

and actions with a power called ‘positive energy’. If we keep

adding positive emotions to our lives, we are sure to

influence our attitudes, thoughts and habits to be positive.

Every positive emotion launched into our lives will trigger

happiness. For instance, love is sure to trigger bliss, just as

hope is guaranteed to build positive energy.

All these positive emotions like optimism, courage,

confidence, tranquility, compassion, enthusiasm and humor

are positive ammunition that we can program our life with.

We can invite these into our lives and by doing so, we will

trigger positive feelings that will generate joy and

happiness. Sometimes, a great way to program happiness is

to just choose happy actions like smiling, joking, dancing or

singing. These will pep up the positive energy that is needed

to program our life to joy. Do you really want to be happy?

Then pull this happiness trigger and you will be surprised to

see what is in store for you.

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STOP

*I accept only those *

positive thoughts

and

people, who contribute to

*my happiness. *

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Happiness Trigger 5

Manage Problems Happily

Many people are unhappy because they have problems. I have

problems and I am sure you do too. In fact, every living being

has problems. The word ‘problem’ is born from the word

‘probolo,’ which indicates something that is thrown before us.

Thus a problem thrown in front of us is like a challenge. The

way we handle it will decide how our life will be. If we

manage problems happily, we will not lose our joy while

dealing with them. However, if we allow problems to trouble

us or agitate and make us react negatively, we have lost our

joy and bliss for the moment.

Sometimes a problem cannot be solved. It just has to be

managed. Either way, we must learn to pull this trigger and

manage problems happily. This means that we must not let the

problems manage us; rather we must take charge of the

problems. The way I manage problems is that, I accept them

with a game playing attitude. I think of it as fun and solve the

problem, and remind myself that every problem has to pass.

No problem will ever kill me! And finally if it does, well then,

so what, either way, life is temporary. So why worry so much

about it. I find that with a positive attitude, I am able to deal

with problems in a much better way than I would when

worrying or being tensed about them. When I worry about a

problem, it robs me of the ability to think clearly. It also robs

my smile which is the most important treasure I would hate to

lose. So now when a problem comes to me, I first smile. Then

I welcome the problem as if I was anticipating it and talk to

my problem. In this humorous way, I find that half my

problems are solved and the other half gets managed without

me losing my happiness. Pull this trigger today, not tomorrow.

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Happiness Trigger 6

Use Hope To Cope And Be Happy

I have often pulled this trigger and have learnt from others

that this trigger is like a rope. _A rope called hope with which _

_we can cope with all the dope that life throws at us. _ A lot of

muck that we face makes us feel hopeless as if we have

reached the end, _but with hope, the end will turn out to be a _

bend and our scars will be turned into stars.

Hope creates joy because it changes our negative feelings to

positive ones. It creates optimism from pessimism and it

gives us power. The hopeless one thinks that the night is

dark, but hope reminds one that it is always the darkest

before dawn and soon the sun will rise.

Without hope, we are lost in sorrow. Hope identifies signals

that give us joy, like the singing of the birds before the break

of dawn. Hope is a positive energy that is guaranteed to give

joy and peace. Do you live with hope? If you do, then it must

be one of your happiness triggers. If you don’t, then pull the

rope called hope. Do it now, for this will make you happy

forever and ever.

Learn to live with HOPE: Have Only Positive Expectations!

This trigger will ensure you live happily every day.

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38

Happiness Trigger 7

Walk Away From Unhappy Situations

I love this trigger and I have seen many people using this to

be happy. At times, we are amongst people who make us

unhappy, in the midst of situations that create sorrow and we

just remain there. Why do we do that? For instance, we are

invited to go with friends for a movie that is sure to break our

heart and make us unhappy. We even go to the theatre, but

soon realize that the movie is not good. Should we force

ourselves to watch it or can we walk out of the theatre? Of

course, we can opt for the latter! Of course, we can! Why

pour sorrow into our mug of life and be unhappy.

At times, when somebody is watching a TV program that is

negative or the family is discussing a negative topic, you

don’t need to participate in such a negative event. You can

gracefully excuse yourself. We must remind ourselves that

some situations may not be under our control, but where we

are and what we do is in our hands. We can choose to walk

away from unhappy situations, but when we don’t, we permit

happiness to dissolve and be lost. Therefore, we must pull

this trigger and move out before it is too late. In my life, I

have made it a habit not to accept anything that is negative

whether it is people, thoughts or circumstances that rob me

of my happiness. I just pull this trigger and it is so easy. I just

walk away from unhappy situations. Try it and it will result

in you being happy.

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If someone is trying to make you unhappy, just say:

[*“Sorry I cannot be unhappy. *]

My mind is programmed

[* to be happy always!”” *]

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Happiness Trigger 8

Surround Yourself With Happy People

To be happy, we must pull this trigger. We must surround

ourselves with positive people; people who are full of love,

faith, hope, cheer, enthusiasm, energy, forgiveness and

understanding. We are sure to pick up positive vibrations

from such people, and that will make us happy.

This is quite different from walking away from unhappy

people or situations. That will only move us from being

negative to neutral but to be happy we need to enter a

positive zone.

When I want to be happy, I often meet happy people who are

so enthusiastic that I am sure I will end up being happy too.

There are some blessed people who vibrate positive energy

all the time, and we must try and surround ourselves with

such people always. To be happy, pull this trigger

consciously.

Meet h appy

people.

Be with cheerful

people.

And yo

y u will be

Happy!

41

Happiness Trigger 9

Ignore The Insignificant

This trigger is important for those who worry a lot. They let the

small stuff of life affect them and their happiness. They get into

every detail and each detail creates pain. After all, life is a

journey that we must all enjoy before we depart. When we lose

our joy to trivial things, we may find that we win little battles at

first, but eventually, we end up losing the big war itself. What is

the use of fussing over every small, insignificant issue and

losing our peace of mind? Of what use is it to address every

tiny, meaningless issue, but in the bargain, lose our peace of

mind?

Our colleagues sometimes don’t do what they are supposed to

do. Sure, they should have done it right. But by getting into the

details, we can only reprimand them and in the bargain, lose

our happiness. If it is significant, we must correct them. But

more often than not, most of the things that grab our attention

are truly insignificant and we sweat over small stuff. To realize

the importance of this trigger, look back into the past and

analyze how much energy you wasted, how much joy you lost

while settling the silly issues. In hindsight, was it worth it?

Make a commitment to stop now. If it is a habit, start changing

it and don’t react to insignificant matters ever again. Each time

you conquer this temptation, you will be blessed with joy.

Finally, very few things in life really matter and the person who

understands this is blessed. One must ignore the insignificant

and focus on happiness and joy rather than worrying on every

silly matter knowing that worry is sure to kill happiness. If you

pull this trigger and start ignoring insignificant things, you

have started your journey towards joy and bliss.

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Happiness Trigger 10

Reverse Your Hurts

All of us get hurt in life. That is life! Friends too hurt us,

knowingly and sometimes unknowingly and we feel

unhappy. But we must realize that being hurt directly

corrodes our joy. So, how do we deal with hurts? Like Dr.

Robert Schuller said [_“Do not curse your hurts, do not nurse _]

_your hurts, do not rehearse your hurts, instead reverse your _

[_hurts.” _] Yes, there is no point in repeatedly cursing the hurt

or reminding ourselves of it by nursing and rehearsing it, but

the challenge is how you reverse it. The best way to reverse

the hurt is neither by expression nor by suppression but

rather by forgiveness. When you pull the trigger with

forgiveness, your sorrow will turn to joy and your

unhappiness to happiness.

Every day, our near and dear ones may do small and big

things that create irritation and hurt. The more we rehearse

these, the more we are sure of becoming unhappy, because

these will create feelings of sorrow. And why choose sorrow

if we learn the trigger of reversing our hurts through

forgiveness? We are doing ourselves a bigger favor than to

the ones we forgive, because we are gifting happiness to

ourselves. Of what use is it to repeat and rehearse negative

thoughts and feelings? They will grow bigger and bigger and

blast unhappiness into our lives. Is it not simpler and more

intelligent to just pull this trigger and reverse the hurts?

Forgive and be happy. Try it now.

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I am going to be happy today,

even though the skies are

cloudy and grey.

No matter what comes my way…

I am going to be happy today.

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Happiness Trigger 11

Use Positive Self-Suggestions

A great way to trigger happiness is to use positive self-

suggestions as often as you can. Those who actively do it

know the power and benefit of it. Some people wake up

every morning with positive self-suggestions like: “Today is

going to be a great day.” or “I feel great today.” or “God

walks with me today, so I will be happy.” or “I am going to

make today a beautiful day.”

These self-suggestions act as autosuggestions or automatic

triggers that inject positive energy into our thoughts and

feelings and it really works! Some people use these

autosuggestions as screen savers on their computer screens

or as wall paper on their mobile phone. There is no end to

creativity here. Some have posters put up in their offices and

homes while some put it in their cars and restrooms.

Whenever you have the chance of displaying or projecting a

self-suggestion, don’t miss the opportunity. It works! It will

trigger happiness in your life. It’s time for you to pull this

trigger too.

Keep repeating

g

and reaffirming:

‘I am h appy.’

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Sybil F

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P rtridge

46

Happiness Trigger 12

Crazy Triggers

Many people pull crazy triggers that give them joy.

However, it doesn’t matter what the trigger is as long as by

doing it, you become happy. Some people become truly

happy with their pets. Unfortunately, if the pet dies, they

don’t get another pet for years. They live in a kind of sorrow

or rather in the absence of joy, till they finally realize that

they need a pet. The moment they get a new pet, their life is

filled with happiness. What stopped them all these years? Do

you have a pet? Maybe you can pull this trigger to bring you

joy but you don’t.

Some people truly become happy with kids around them, be

it either their own or others’ kids. But for some reason, their

lifestyle becomes such that there are no kids around. They

lose the joy that comes from kids. We are all made in such a

way that the child in us never dies. This works for some and

doesn’t for others, but you could check if this is a trigger that

can bring joy in your life. It sure does in mine. Playing with

kids gives me tremendous joy.

Another sure way to happiness is to travel. Travel to your

favorite destination. It works beautifully for me. Whenever I

want to be really happy, I just plan a trip to one of my natural

havens – a beach, a mountain or a beautiful lake.

Do you want to be happy? Then maybe, you need to create

crazy triggers like pets, travel, kids or something else that is

unique to you but is sure to make you happy.

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Happiness Trigger 13

Connect To The Universal Power

Are you a believer? If you are, then you will probably relate

to this trigger better. Those who live with faith and believe

that there is a power that gave them life can pull this trigger to

be happy. It doesn’t matter which religion you belong to. But

if you believe in God, then you are fortunate to have this

trigger available to you. Those who pull this trigger connect

with God, the universal power and become happy. When you

connect with the spiritual power, you build faith and faith

creates Full Assurance In The Heart. Faith leads to peace, joy

and tranquility and this builds the happiness in our lives.

There are those who live as atheists. To them, there is no

Creator or God, and they are thus unable to pray and find

happiness through this trigger. For the sake of being happy at

least, it makes sense to connect to the universal power, so as

to draw the energy that creates this joy. If you haven’t tried it,

it’s worth a try. The presence of a spiritual connection gives

us courage and confidence leading to happiness. It’s a trigger

you can pull now, whoever you are and where ever you may

be. It costs nothing and if it works, it’s a big treasure. So why

not try it now?

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Happiness Trigger 14

Love What You Do

Or Do What You Love

Many people go to a job that makes them miserable. They work

eight hours a day, five days a week and hate what they do. How

can they be happy? To them, there is a simple prescription to joy.

Love your job or Leave your job. For if you don’t love your job,

not only will you be unhappy, you will never be successful. Then

why drag through something in life that has no meaning. Why

not rather do what you love and be Happy?

There are so many opportunities today that you can craft out and

do whatever excites you and makes you happy. You don’t have to

do something; you can choose to do what you like. If you choose

a job that excites you, it is no more a job and thus it will make you

happy and give you joy. So don’t continue doing something you

hate. Quit. Do it now. You would be doing your employer a favor

too!

But what if you are in a situation where you can’t do what you

want to do. Then the least you can do is try to enjoy what you are

doing. Yes, if you can’t do what you love, then try to love what

you do. If you do, you would be happy and this is the most

important factor. Whatever be the case, learn this trigger and

implement it. Never do what you don’t love, because you can

never be happy. If you have no choice, then start enjoying what

you are doing. Find a way to make your work exciting. Make it

fun and not only will you get it done, but you will also get to

enjoy life much more and be happy.

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Love your job

or

[*Leave your job! *]

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Happiness Trigger 15

Stop And Change

Many people just keep on doing what they are doing and

they complain and whine about their happiness. It is strange

but true. If you don’t like whatever you are doing, why not

stop and change. You may be in a relationship that is making

you miserable. Why continue? Why not stop and change?

Whatever is giving you unhappiness is not compulsory most

of the time. You can make changes, but you must have the

courage to stop. So stop now and pull this trigger. Stop and

change whatever is causing you misery. Find out what it is

that will create joy. Trigger happiness in your life. If there is

a relationship you must get into, do it now. If there is a

relationship you have to end, end it now. If there are friends

who are making you unhappy, you must stop and talk to

them and not continue to live miserably. It may just be a

situation at home or office that is troubling you so stop and

change that.

Each of us might have different things that hold us back from

happiness that we need to stop and change. I know a person

who was in a bad relationship for years. Every day he would

complain and cry about the relationship he was in. But he

continued till one fine day he decided this must stop. He

confronted the situation and it changed forever. Very often,

relationships can give us tremendous happiness or

unhappiness. It is very important that we evaluate our

relationships and ensure we are in positive ones. Review this

trigger. Is there something that you must stop and change to

give you happiness?

If there is, then do it now.

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52

Happiness Trigger 16

Refuse To Be Unhappy

How can someone make you unhappy without your

permission? After all, being happy or unhappy is a feeling or

a behavior that is born out of our reactions. We cannot

control people’s actions, but we can control our reactions.

People may try to hurt us, but we can refuse to be unhappy,

because unhappiness is a choice that comes from our

reaction. Do you wanna be happy? Then this is an important

trigger you must pull all the time – refuse to be unhappy.

Whatever be the circumstance in life, we can choose to be

happy and refuse to be unhappy. Do you pull this trigger in

life or do you find yourself unhappy against your wishes?

Whenever you feel unhappy again due to others actions, stop

and tell yourself, “I refuse to be unhappy” and change your

reaction from that of unhappiness to happiness..

To

T

be h appy,

refuse to react

unh appily.

Be Happy

instead!

53

[*Are you hurt? *]

To be happy,

don’t curse your hurts,

don’t nurse your hurts,

don’t rehearse your hurts.

Just reverse your hurts.

54

Happiness Trigger 17

Smile

Have you tried this trigger? It is magical and it works

wonders, both for yourself and for the one who receives your

smile. It’s ironical that though it costs nothing, people do not

want to smile. What happens when you smile at somebody?

They smile in return and both you and that person become

happy. Although it is such a simple and effective trigger, it is

not used in most situations in life. However, since you have

decided that you want to be happy, it is a great trigger to

adopt. Keep this trigger loaded and ready always. When you

meet the next person, just smile and see how much warmth it

radiates. Not only will it make you happy, it will make others

happy too and this in turn will give you joy. While there are

some people who are always smiling, some others have not

learned this art at all.

When you make smiling a habit, you are encompassed with

happiness since you emit happy vibes to others as well as

receive happy vibes in return. Have you made smiling a

habit? If not, pull this trigger and start today. Smile and you

will see and enjoy the magic it brings. Challenge yourself to

smile all the time and you will find yourself happy always.

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Happiness Trigger 18

Essential Daily Triggers

Apart from these triggers, there are essential triggers that we

cannot ignore. If we don’t pull these triggers, we may end up

in a soup of unhappiness.

Taking care of our health is one such trigger. If we are

careless and do not take care of our health, we may end up in

pain and suffering which will create sorrow. Therefore, as an

essential daily trigger, we must take care of our bodies and if

we have a problem, we must go to a doctor. Ignoring a rotten

tooth for example, may lead to a complicated root canal

surgery that will surely give us pain and unhappiness.

Sometimes, just food can affect our happiness. Certain type

of food makes us happy, but certain others pull us down and

make us uncomfortable and unhappy. We must identify what

kind of food nourishes us and what can rob our smiles away.

If we are committed to happiness, we must learn to monitor

and control our diet so that we are happy all the time.

Another essential daily trigger is the type of thoughts we

think. Sometimes negative thoughts enter our mind and

create unhappiness. If we are conscious about joy, we can fix

a filter and stop these thoughts from sinking into us. As they

appear, we can re-direct them away, so that they don’t enter

our domain to make us feel unhappy.

There are many essential daily triggers that together form a

trigger.

56

Another one is peace. Many things rob our peace of mind

and lead us to unhappiness. Once we become conscious of

what robs us of our peace of mind, we will proactively

choose those things that give us peace. There are many more

that can be added to this list. Essentially in our daily lives, we

must proactively accept and do whatever leads us to

happiness.

Be generous in pulling the universal happiness

triggers as well as those of your own.

You now have a list of happiness triggers that are universal

as well as those from your own happiness list. Pulling these

triggers is a sure way of bringing joy in your life. But just like

the trigger of a gun that needs to be pulled to release the

bullets, these triggers too must be pulled into action. Surely,

your happiness list has assured triggers and some of these

universal triggers will work for you. Together, they are

guaranteed to make you happy.

The next time you are feeling down and miserable, stop and

pull these happiness triggers and you will see happiness

coming in and transforming your present condition. Be

lavish in using these triggers, for the more you pull

happiness triggers, the more you will experience joy and

happiness.

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CHAPTER 6

th

THE 4 STEP

BEWARE OF JOY STEALERS

Beware! You have just climbed three important steps on the

ladder to joy and happiness. You not only have a strong

burning desire, but have also discovered what will make you

happy. You want to pull the happiness triggers that will

trigger your happiness. But now, it’s time to be careful.

Commonly, we have read signs that say, ‘Beware of dogs’

everywhere we go. Fortunately, dogs rarely harm us. There

are poisons which are more harmful that you must beware

of. I call them “Joy Stealers”. They are the thieves that rob us

of our most valued possessions – joy and happiness. They

are strong negative emotions that poison our minds and

devastate us. Some of them are anger, jealousy, fear, guilt,

temptation, worry, revenge, hate and doubt. These poisons

enter our lives and without our slightest knowledge, walk

away with our bliss. You must beware of all the joy stealers.

This is because we work hard to build a passion for

happiness and then persistently discover what makes us

happy and powerfully pull each trigger to create happiness.

But, the poison of negative energy can nullify all our

positive efforts when it enters our lives. And therefore, we

must remember, Step 4 – Beware of Joy Stealers. We must

keep them away. We must consciously eliminate these

negative emotions from our thoughts and attitude.

Whenever they appear, we must shoot them down ruthlessly.

Let us analyze a few of the joy stealers.

1. ANGER: Anger is a dangerous terrorist that starts as a

spark, but burns out our entire emotional strength. You may

be the happiest person on earth, but the moment anger enters

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your life, it flares up and brings out the worst in you. You lose

control and explode, not knowing what you speak. The force

of anger is such that it can create irreparable damage. It is a

strong negative poison that erupts because of various

reasons. However, it is a reaction and can be controlled. If

we do not burn anger, it will burn us and destroy our joy and

peace. Normally, when this joy stealer enters our lives, we

try to suppress it, but it will surface again. Sometimes we try

to express it. But it doesn’t end there; it only flares up worse

than before. The only way to conquer anger is through

forgiveness which is a positive emotion that can nullify

anger. Beware of this joy stealer. Take charge of it before it

consumes you, and if it ever does, be ready to forgive and

forget so that the anger subsides and happiness is restored.

2. JEALOUSY: Jealousy is another fire that can burn us. We

may be living a life of joy and bliss but suddenly and

foolishly, we lose our happiness because we become jealous

of others. Jealousy is thus a joy stealer. The moment it enters

our lives, it walks out with our bliss. It is a strong negative

poison that can steal our joy. I had a friend who was very

happy because he bought a new Mercedes Benz. We went for

a test drive and he was excited and full of joy with his new

car. Suddenly his neighbor passed us by in his new BMW.

My friend became upset because he was jealous of his

neighbor’s BMW and all his joy disappeared. Jealousy stole

his happiness. Just think about it. Should we let such a joy

stealer take away our joy? We must beware of jealousy and

when this ugly poison surfaces, we must talk ourselves into

being content with what we have. We must learn to be

grateful and satisfied. Peace will be restored if we are

intelligent enough to let jealousy pass by, rather than give it

place in our hearts. If we do, it will enter forcefully and rob

us of all our happiness.

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Happiness does not

come when we have

more of something.

In fact, greed steals

our happiness

115

60

3. FEAR: Fear is dangerous, for it can paralyze. The acronym

for FEAR is ‘False Expectations Appearing Real.’ Yes, fears

may be false, but this joy stealer is an expert in exaggerating

dangers and building strong negative emotions that will steal

our happiness. Beware of fear; for once it enters our lives, our

peace of mind exits. We must learn to live our lives with

courage and confidence – the positive emotions that can

conquer fear. When fear appears, we must consciously attack

it and make it disappear.

4. GUILT: All of us, sometime or the other, experience the

emotion called guilt in life. When we do something wrong,

we feel guilty and this guilt steals our happiness. But why

should we feel guilty? Nobody is perfect and when we err as

human beings, we must make amends. Therefore, instead of

letting guilt corrode our soul, we must proactively and

positively accept our mistakes and try to make good in place

of the wrong done. This way, we remain positive. On the

contrary, if we live with guilt, we harbor a strong negative

poison that will make us unhappy. This joy stealer can walk

away with all our joy and bliss. Therefore when, guilt

appears, we must be honest and sincere, and with humility

accept our wrong doings. We have to try our best to do good,

thus eliminating the negative poison. Never feel guilty.

Learn to deal with guilt if ever it shows up again.

5. TEMPTATION: Many of us get tempted to do something

ethically wrong. Sometimes, we do these actions to be happy,

not realizing that we can never be happy with unethical

actions. Some young children steal something that they

would like to have, but when they realize that their

temptation led them to robbing, they feel miserable. We must

hold back from temptation or any negative emotion that will

create unethical happiness. Even though we may have

temporary joy, this will emit lot of negative fumes which will

61

suffocate our happiness. The short term joy is so

insignificant when compared to the long time misery that

temptation creates. Therefore, we must not give into

temptations, as they are joy stealers dressed up as happiness

triggers. They trigger unhappiness and not joy in the long

run.

How do we deal with temptation? We must learn to evaluate

and differentiate temptation from the true happiness triggers

and choose to pull those triggers that will genuinely make us

happy and stay away from temptation.

6. WORRY: It is a negative poison and a primary joy stealer

because it eliminates the ability to think with reason and

brings along with it fear. When worry occupies our minds, it

starts consuming our happiness. It can be viewed as a

monster that feeds on joy and bliss. We may be perfectly

normal, happy people, but when worry occupies us, it starts

eating our peace of mind and troubles us like a parasite

robbing us of all joy. Just like any other negative poison, its

vicious fumes occupy our peaceful and tranquil minds,

making them unstable. Since it comes along with fear, it

threatens and destabilizes our very being. For those who

have experienced worry, it is not difficult to comprehend the

damage that it causes. When worry enters, we must not give

it place. We must confront it with positive emotions like

faith, courage, calmness and tranquility. If it is blocked from

entering, we can be happy, but once it enters, it destroys.

Therefore, we must be wary of it.

7. REVENGE: Revenge is another joy stealer. It is so

powerful that it can create more momentum than any

positive emotion. Normally when somebody harms or hurts

us, our natural reaction is to set the score even. We are not

used to forgiving and so, we let the negative emotion called

revenge take charge of our hearts and minds. At that point of

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time, we don’t realize it. While it is natural to want revenge, it

will steal our joy. Besides, whatever we may get by revenge

will be far more inconsequential compared to the damage

that revenge causes. Think about it; when somebody harms

us, we create negative poison within us that robs our peace

and tranquility. Then, we act negatively to make good and

temporarily get some satisfaction out of revenge. But is that

true joy? On the contrary, once revenge is taken, we feel

even more miserable having behaved with such negative

poison. The right approach is to beware of revenge and not

let it build a foundation in our hearts. Let us eliminate this

joy stealer, for it may come in pretending to bring us

satisfaction, but leaves with all the joy and happiness that

once belonged to us.

8. HATE: It is another deadly poison, for it burns up our heart

– a place where love is born, and from where joy and

happiness vibrates. It is most unfortunate that some people

are overcome by hate, because with hate in command, they

are incapable of being happy. Therefore we must be very

careful of this joy stealer and not let even signs of it get close

to us. By principle, I don’t hate anybody even if I dislike

them; I nullify that feeling rather than letting it grow into

hate, knowing that if hate appears, then happiness will

disappear. Those who live with hate in any form are

incapable of being truly happy. Such is the power of this

negative poison. Therefore, beware of hate and the only

thing you should hate is hate itself.

9. DOUBT: Doubt is the opposite of faith. The moment you

doubt, you have no faith and therefore this negative emotion

can be devastating. It is a trickster that comes to play

mischief into a normally positive, happy mind. Doubt is

negative and it can never have a positive consequence. In

fact, like the other joy stealers, its goal is to rob us of our

63

happiness. Therefore, we must be wary of doubt and

confront it with faith, when it appears in order to eliminate it.

The moment we allow doubt to enter our lives, it starts its

tricks by eating up faith and confidence, and slowly steals

our peace and bliss. It must be encountered and eliminated,

for in doing so we will be peaceful and happy.

*These are some of the joy stealers that can *

*steal our happiness. *

There may be many more. But whatever be the joy stealer,

we must not make space for these negative poisons in our

life. We must ruthlessly and unconditionally eliminate them

so that they are completely distanced and eliminated from

our life.

We protect ourselves from the burning sun, from pouring

rain and from dangerous waters by using lotions, umbrellas

and life guards. But, we don’t protect ourselves from the

dangers of unhappiness. Imagine you are walking in a park

and come across a dangerous insect. What would you do

instinctively? You would either try to kill it, hit it or move

away. Yet when it comes to unhappiness, we don’t take the

same approach!

We must be wary of these negative poisons knowing that our

first 3 steps may be destroyed in a moment if we do not adopt

the 4th step to happiness. While we are busy pulling

happiness triggers, let us not ignore the joy stealers and

protect ourselves from them. Both are equally important in

creating the bliss that we seek.

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How can I be happy?

I am sinking in sorrow.

You can,

if you learn to bounce back.

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CHAPTER 7

th

THE 5 STEP

BOUNCE BACK WITH FAITH AND HOPE

While writing about the happiness journey and formulating

steps that guarantee happiness, it becomes essential to cover

a possible situation, where one’s life has been captured by

unhappiness and sorrow. Is there still hope? Can such people

still turn around and be happy?

People in deep sorrow, often sneer at the thought that they

can always be happy. To them happiness is a thing of the

past, it’s gone forever never to return. They regret and

rehearse. They think and curse. They have lost the hope of

being happy ever again.

To them, this is the recommended trigger to happiness. They

have to bounce back; they have to SNAP OUT of sorrow.

They have to escape from misery. They have to eliminate

unhappiness and this happens when they decide to bounce

back with FAITH and HOPE. They will then cope with the

tragedy of life and reverse it.

The two key pillars to help one bounce back are: faith and

hope. Without these two, you cannot escape from sorrow

that has taken charge of your life. It has virtually strangled

you emotionally; it has paralyzed and ruined you. But you

can still bounce back. The negative influence in such a

situation is very strong and one has to snap out of it with the

faith that they can be happy again and with the hope that they

can eliminate sorrow altogether. Once these two pillars are

strongly laid, then the seeker of happiness can start the

journey by desiring to be happy.

A normal aspirant can desire happiness even without faith

66

and hope, as there are no negative influences. But for one

who is imprisoned by sorrow, there is a necessity for faith

and hope to help them bounce back. The aspirant must not

just desire to be happy, but discover what made them happy.

Happiness can be restored by pulling the happiness triggers

and making an effort not to permit any more joy stealers to

enter. The problem that this aspirant will face is this: since

sorrow has taken charge, every effort to be happy will be

encountered by a resistance with negative energy. Thus, one

has to take the same steps (1, 2, 3 and 4), but with an extra

dose of faith and hope that will help them bounce back. Faith

will build a foundation that will eliminate fear and doubt.

Hope will create positive expectations that make way for

joy. These two will form the two pillars on which happiness

can be rebuilt.

Many people are in such a state of unhappiness in their lives,

that they are not able to start the happiness journey. Then

there are others, who even though they have started the

happiness journey, are unable to proceed as sorrow has

captured them back. To all such aspirants, happiness is just

one more step away. They need to bounce back from

unhappiness by believing that they can be happy again and

hoping that their lives can once again be full of bliss. With

this belief and hope, create a desire for happiness.

Discover your happiness list and then do it; and pull the

happiness triggers. Don’t let anymore sorrow enter. Beware

of joy stealers and with the positive energy that you are

armed with, eliminate the negative poison. You will slowly

start feeling the bliss and the joy from this journey. If you are

committed and passionate, nothing can stop you. With faith

and hope, you will be able to bounce back.

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Faith and hope -

will help you Bounce Back!

They are the 2

2 magical pil ars

that will prevent unhappiness

from taking charge of your life.

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CHAPTER 8

THE FINAL STEP

BE HAPPY ALWAYS! IT’S A CHOICE

Be Happy Always! It’s a choice. You have reached the last

step of the happiness journey. The challenge now is to be

happy always. You have been enjoying the positive

vibrations that came from pulling the happiness triggers.

You have a clear map. You are passionate and truly desire to

be happy. You know what is going to make you happy and

you know what you must do. You are also aware of the joy

stealers. You are all set. You must now choose to be happy.

The challenge however, is to be happy always. It is not

enough to have intermittent spells of happiness. Happiness

must be continuous and in abundance and this is possible if

you have clearly understood the 6 steps.

Remember, happiness does not depend on material

possessions. You may not have everything, but you can still

be happy if you know how to pull the happiness triggers as

well as know what gives you happiness. Doing so, you are

moving one step closer in the journey of joy.

The key to being happy always is to fill your life with

positive energy that will trigger happiness in your life. If you

make positive energy a part of your daily lifestyle, you will

build a positive attitude, and a life full of positive thoughts,

feelings, actions and habits.These will trigger joy into your

life and you can be happy always. But, if you are not careful

and let negative emotions take charge, then your journey

may be attacked by sorrow and unhappiness. Unless you

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Happiness is a choice.

You may have everything and

yet be unhappy.

You may have nothing and

still be happy!

You

You need to choose to be happy!

70

bounce back, you will sink into misery. The choice is yours.

Nothing in this world is more important than being happy. It

is our most valued possession that has no price tag. All the

money in the world cannot be exchanged for joy and one

must value one’s moments of happiness. One must treasure

happiness and work hard towards being happy always. After

all, it is a choice and happiness cannot escape one who is

passionate and persistent in its pursuit.

Don’t forget the steps to happiness and remember that

happiness is the journey and not the destination. Keep your

list of happy priorities handy and whenever you feel low,

pull one of those triggers and raise your happiness levels.

Don’t delay pulling any of the universal triggers that can give

you joy instantly and beware of any joy stealers that may

come, and eliminate them immediately. Happiness can’t

escape you. It can be yours forever, provided you follow the

steps.

Mr. Cheer

Before we end, I would like to share the story of Mr. Cheer.

To maintain anonymity, his name has been changed, but I

cannot forget the impact he had on me by being cheerful and

happy at all times. It may not be wrong to say that I was

largely inspired by him to be happy always.

Mr. Cheer was not at all wealthy, but he was the happiest

man I knew. He was always cheerful and smiling. Every day,

he would go around serving suffering humanity in various

orphanages, destitute homes, hospitals and hospices. He

visited the poorest of the poor to bring a smile on their face,

giving them a packet of biscuit, a fruit or a meal. With his

71

own warm hands, he served them with a radiant smile. He

would say, “Be cheerful.” to everyone that he met.

Mr. Cheer did not have expensive cars or possessions, nor

did he own much property or have material wealth. But he

was the richest in joy and happiness. His life is a testimony

that one can be happy without money and material wealth.

Mr. Cheer had a clear purpose – to serve the poor and make

them happy. To those he served, he was like a Santa Claus,

but one that came every week without fail giving away

goodies. Such was his life. He did this for many years. One

day, he was diagnosed with cancer. His schedule did not

change and he continued to visit the charitable homes and

institutions, but his condition deteriorated. His suffering

increased and as time passed he became bedridden. All

through his illness, for as long as he could, he continued his

visits with a smile and his trademark cheer.

I went to visit him when his disease seemed to be defeating

him. Even in his deepest and most painful state, he was

cheerful. He had no regret, no complaints, not even

questions as to why he had to suffer with cancer. He still

greeted me cheerfully and although, he was in his deathbed,

he was cheerful. His attitude made my heart stop for a

moment, as it made a deep impact on my life. I knew him for

decades, but no words can express the respect I had for him

for living his philosophy of being cheerful at all times and

making others happy.

A few weeks later, he died, leaving behind a vacuum of

emptiness in all those whom he touched. No more would

they be able to see this happy old man on his weekly rounds.

72

Make happiness

the journey itself….

not the Destination!

73

Mr. Cheer made a tremendous impact on me. He taught me

that you don’t have to be rich to be happy. He showed me that

if we do what is dear to our heart, we could be joyous. He

also revealed his secret: that making others happy was the

simplest secret to bliss and fulfillment. I recall what a glow

he had on his face! Though his needs were simple and he

lived a simple but happy life, he had amassed a great treasure

of cheerfulness, enthusiasm, joy and bliss. He carried a

begging bowl for anyone to donate to the suffering humanity

he cared for. He was not shy to do this, for it gave him joy.

What an inspiration Mr. Cheer has been!

People like Mr. Cheer who live exemplary lives made me

realize what true joy is. I have myself experienced this

fulfillment and know that it does not come from gold and

diamonds, cheque books and property, airplanes and motor

cars. Yes, all these pleasures are great, but at the end of the

day when the head hits the pillow, if you are not truly happy,

all these have little meaning.

Thus at the age of 40, I stepped out of an active materialistic

world. I realized that life was more than just making

millions, more than adding zeros to the wealth we possessed,

more than building a bank full of assets and material

possessions. I stopped all that and decided to spend my life

doing what made me happy – humanitarian, spiritual and

inspirational work. I transformed and rejuvenated my life

and the last few years have given me more joy than all the

decades that preceded them.

The joy that comes from giving, the love from inspiring

74

others and the satisfaction from serving and sharing is

priceless.

Sometimes, I am viewed as a maverick, but it has not

changed my decision to transcend from a world of wealth to

a life of bliss. Rather than creating pleasure from the things

money can buy, I now, enjoy fulfillment from things that

money can’t buy. While I do agree that money is important to

live well, to make a meaningful difference, I have concluded

that money is not everything. Happiness is a choice. It is a

state of mind and anyone can be happy if only they discover

its true meaning and then walk towards it.

The greatest challenge is not choosing to be happy now, but

choosing to be happy always. The best thing to do is to keep

this book beside you at all times, to remind yourself that you

wanna be happy always. Happiness is guaranteed if you pull

happiness triggers and stay away from joy stealers. If you

make up your mind to be happy, no one can steal the joy from

your heart and the smile from your face.

75

God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot

change, the courage to change the

things I can, and the wisdom to

know the difference!

Learn the art of

being happy always!

76

Summary

You don’t have to be a millionaire

to be happy. Anybody can be happy!

You too can be happy now and always.

HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE.

We can choose to be happy or unhappy.

Some people have everything yet they

are unhappy, whereas some have

nothing yet they are happy.

So, what is happiness?

77

HAPPINESS is an emotion, a strong feeling

that makes one enjoy and feel good. It is a

feeling that makes one’s heart dance and

eyes twinkle. Happiness creates

excitement and builds positive energy. It

makes us smile, laugh and creates cheer.

78

*Happiness is a journey, *

*not a destination. *

*The journey consists of 6 steps. *

First step

[*- wanting to be happy. *]

[*Second step – knowing what makes one happy. *]

Third step

[*- doing what gives one happiness. *]

Fourth step

[*- staying away from misery. *]

Fifth step

[*- being able to bounce back with *]

*faith and hope. *

Final step

[*- being able to choose happiness *]

always

[*It is that simple! *]

79

*ST *

THE 1 STEP: DESIRE TO BE HAPPY

Unless you are passionate about

being happy and living joyously, how

can you ever be happy? The first step

is that you must have a burning desire

and a strong aspiration to be happy.

Once you have that, you will have

started on the happiness journey.

80

ND

[*THE 2 STEP: *]

DISCOVER WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

How can you be happy, if you don’t

know what makes you happy? So

introspect and find out what made you

happy in the past. Analyze what is

making you happy today and imagine

what will make you happy tomorrow.

Will this create your magical happy list?

Do you have your happy list ready now?

If yes, go on to the next step.

81

RD

[*THE 3 STEP: *]

[*DO IT NOW! DO IT, TAKE ACTION!!! *]

You already know what makes you

happy. Now, it’s time to pull the

happiness triggers. Happiness is just an

intention away and will be yours with

action. Let nothing stop you from

pulling the happiness triggers. Be

happy and move to the next step.

82

TH

THE 4 STEP: BEWARE

You are busy pulling happiness triggers.

It’s great you are happy! But wait just a

minute, beware of joy stealers. These

thieves silently enter into your life and

make you unhappy. Beware of the joy

stealers like anger, hate, worry, revenge,

jealousy and temptation. Don’t let them

in because if you do, happiness will go

out.

83

TH

THE 5 STEP: BOUNCE BACK

At times, you are deep in sorrow and

cannot pull the happiness triggers as you

are stuck in misery and sunk in despair. Is

there a way out? Yes, you must learn to

bounce back. Take help of the two pillars

– Faith and Hope. You can then bounce

back, rejuvenate and live a transformed

life of joy.

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THE FINAL STEP:

Be happy always. Happiness is not

momentary. It is a way of life and if you

wanna be happy always, you must learn

to choose happiness in all that you do. By

pulling happiness triggers and staying

away from joy stealers, it is possible to be

happy all the time. Start now; live with joy

and bliss today and every day.

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*MY HAPPINESS COMMITMENT *

Today, I promise that I shall

be Happy all the time. I am

making a personal

commitment and vow that I

shall not let JOY STEALERS like anger,

jealousy, greed and guilt rob me of my

happiness.

I will not let unhappiness take

command of my life.

I will bounce back with FAITH and

HOPE. I will TRIGGER HAPPINESS all the

time, by doing things that will make me

happy, as often as I can.

I will SMILE and BE HAPPY today, and

everyday of my Life!

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

ACKN

*Writing a book is not easy. I realized that after spending *

[*hours, days, weeks and months on my first book – I Wanna *]

*Be Happy. And I want to say here that it is not just my effort *

*that has gone into this book. If it was not for the dozens of *

*books I have read on happiness and the numerous talks and *

*inspirational sessions I have attended, this book would not *

*be possible. *

*I acknowledge with gratitude all those who have inspired *

*me in creating this book. *

*The editorial team including Pushpa, Anuradha and *

*Sushumna and the design team including Anu, Sona and *

*Sasikala have helped me put this book together. This book *

*would not have been possible without them. *

[*Various friends and well-wishers have given me interesting *]

*and stimulating feedback which has been incorporated *

*into this second edition. I am grateful for their valuable *

*input. *

[*Finally, I don’t believe that this is my work at all. *]

*Inspiration and thoughts come to us from a greater Power. *

*I bow down in surrender to that source of power as I *

*humbly present this book to one and all. *

~

The whole world is searching for happiness.

Who doesn’t want to be happy?

Everyone wants to be happy. It’s only that we don’t

know how to remain in that state of happiness always!

You may have everything and still be unhappy or you

may have nothing but still be very happy because

happiness does not depend on what you have.

Happiness is how you feel.

I Wanna Be Happy is a simple book that will help you

discover joy in six simple steps. It will teach you to find

out what makes you happy. It will then show you how to

move in that direction and eliminate joy stealers, so that

you can be happy for the rest of your life.

Do you want to be happy? Then invest an hour or two.

Read, believe and practice the contents of this book.

And soon, sorrow will be a thing of the past and you will

be dancing in joy for the rest of your life.

Happiness is guaranteed…if only, you want to be happy!

[_“I have found a way to be truly happy! _]

Now I want to share this secret of happiness through

_this book. I hope it will lead you to a life full of joy, _

[_bliss, happiness and fulfillment.” _]

~

All proceeds from this book, will be contributed to the RVM HUMANITARIAN FOUNDATION


I Wanna Be Happy

  • Author: RVM Author
  • Published: 2017-02-17 09:35:16
  • Words: 16337
I Wanna Be Happy I Wanna Be Happy