How To Find True Love And A Spouse From Abroad
Finding a Foreign Partner and Staying Together
Published on Shakespir by Claude Acero
Copyright © 2015 Claude Acero
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form including information storage and retrieval systems, without the permission in writing from the author and publisher, except by the reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.
Table of Contents
Introduction & Me
My name is Claude Acero and I would like to extend a warm greeting to you all. I have I have been living abroad for the last fifteen years that’s why I am passionate about foreign cultures and healthy living, I try to inspire busy people around the world to adjust their lifestyles for the better.
I admit I have been in a few relationships, at home and overseas, and I have seen a lot over the years. One thing I know to be true is that desperate people have moved mountains to find the right one. Open minded people from all over the world have tried all kinds of way to find a suitable partner in an extremely competitive world. This, plus some rather serious investigation including facts and stories from a friend who owns a known, traditional brick and mortar marriage agency, gave me a few good reason to write this book and share everything I’ve learnt. This includes my own experiences and those of my friends. I’d like the reader to see a few extra possibilities, challenge you to seek out new horizons when it comes to finding a partner, and explain the alternatives and challenges that come with a new foreigner “in tow”, including the option of starting a new life in a new country. These are topics which I know well and write about them on www.expatstarter.com
Finding a solid relationship abroad
My experience tells me, finding a soul mate or marriage partner from overseas is not a small task, but let me tell you up front, it is not an impossible dream either.
Let’s face it, your future Prince Charming or your woman from fantasy land is hard to find. After several failed relationships, heartaches, and stomach pain due to frustration, it may begin to seem like Mr./Ms. Right is more of a fictional character than a real person.
As you probably have experienced before, dating and finding the right one can be frustrating experiences.
Nowadays, online dating offers a multitude of “choices”, and at least in Western countries it has almost replaced traditional methods for finding a new partner. Online dating has its merits. You can preselect partners, you can plan ahead and avoid awkward situations, but because of high competition you are probably not a first choice option for that person in question.
Of course, online dating can cause all kinds of frustrations. Many people have tried it with different approaches, and for that matter, when it comes to dating in general, many of you probably have tried everything, including online dating, joining clubs, speed dating, and churches. Nothing has seemed to work, so far, and your only result has been disappointment.
My personal experience is this: There are many reasons why an American or “European” is in many ways better off with a partner from a foreign country, because in countries abroad not only will you have more and better “choices” but these potential partners are also more easy to find.
Of course, your potential partners from overseas are culturally different from you, but as you get to know them you will find that some of your expectations were based on clichés. We are all influenced by the mass media. In reality, standards abroad can be quite different than what you gather from broadcasting ads and magazines. Some women and men are swayed by the media and think that a woman should fit into a supermodel category, or that we have to adapt to certain standards which are simply outdated or out of touch with reality. Quite often typical dating back at home is not feasible and no matter what modern media is trying to sell you, looks on the outside really are not what matters.
I’ve tried to avoid gender specific opinions and generalizations. I will tell you what I have observed, researched and learned over the years, regarding this hot topic on how to find a suitable spouse, which is perhaps especially relevant for women. (You can find More about this specific topic in my other new book: How to be Happy and Successful…) http://www.amazon.com/AWESOME-LIFE-Happy-Successful-Abroad-ebook/dp/B01804G4GG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1450725425&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+be+happy+abroad
So it’s all out there, this book is not about the psychology of people and relationships; it’s more where to find your future partner and how to “get” them. Over the following pages I will reveal some interesting facts and knowledge to give practical advice on how and where.
Finding and Keeping a Spouse – Your Right to Happiness
Society, by means of the media, has conditioned us to believe that the rich and beautiful and those with resources and connections are rewarded with a shiny, functioning family. Even by law families are privileged, starting with accommodations such as airline transport without taxes.
What about the rest of us? What if others consider us in a less favourable way? Let’s say you are stigmatized as fat and ugly, or stupid and poor. What about those who are just avoided by the mainstream and the so called beautiful people in general? What about those who like to have children, but society has avoided them and they cannot find a good mate?
Everybody has a right to find and to keep a partner.
Have you seen, perhaps on your journeys or even on TV, seemingly happy and appealing families and spouses? They just appear to be happy and functioning, at least from their looks.
Some families in certain parts of Europe seem to live in harmony. Let’s face it, don’t you think some European and perhaps Latin American people look appealing? Would it be even possible to fish them out and let them be yours?
You certainly have a right to find and live with a person of quality. You have a “right” get a good spouse who is worthy of you. I know full well that there are plenty of people out there who are manipulators, cheats, addicts, abusers, or worse. Those aren’t the folks we are talking about in this report. Don’t you have a right to enjoy what others have, who have such a partner? Of course you do and that is true no matter your looks, no matter your financial situation, no matter your location or whatever reason that has prevented you so far. There might be many practical reasons as to why you are not there yet, but is it possible at all? Absolutely. Nevertheless, you have to be properly informed about the whereabouts of potential partners.
Did you know that you and everyone else have a right to live with a suitable, honest, and appealing partner? Perhaps not legally, but certainly naturally. Just like a right to employment, adequate housing, children, to spread your DNA and live out your own personality to the fullest, which includes having a partner on your side and being happily married. Don’t listen to society or people who wish to infringe on your rights. Personally, I think you even have the right to live by your own laws. If society doesn’t let you, grab what’s yours because that’s the natural law on this planet. You absolutely have a right to find the right one and keep your partner for life. Of course, nothing is simply granted and everybody has to make a certain effort.
‘There are two Japanese sayings which I think describes some of the essence of this idea:
“A true relationship is someone who accepts your past, supports your present, and encourages your futures.”
“You cannot become a person of the highest caliber if you believe things will somehow just fall into place.”
So, you have this natural right to find and to get this partner of your dreams. This solid figure will be your loyal and useful spouse and again, you have this right no matter what others say, no matter what society says and people think, no what matter what the law says, because I am talking about the law of nature which is always above everything.
Why America is a bad market for seriously marriage minded people
You have probably heard it before, “finding a good date or even a spouse it complicated.” For many of us, that’s an understatement. There are many reasons why it has become so complicated just to date someone for private purposes. The main reason is that, put simply, people are not traditional anymore. I don’t want to sound like a brainwashed commentator from FOX but the truth is many people consider themselves traditional and in terms of marriage and relationships they probably still are. But everybody dreams of having such a relationship, but they don’t find the “right” partner. That is probably why online dating has become a billion dollar industry. That’s also why having endless choices and profiles doesn’t improve the situation. People need to be looking for others who are in similar social and economic situations. Look at a country like India: a billion people and all with a similar lifestyle more or less, that’s why they find each other.
There are more reasons, of course. America has become a rather distrustful society: people have good intentions and dreams when it comes to long-term relationships but due to bad experiences and media drama, people are cautious. There are also laws which regulate every personal detail in their daily life and family laws with binding consequences for everyone that cause people to be skeptical. There is one particular reason I believe has an impact on finding a proper spouse or partner: the slow disappearance of local communities. Many of us are living in cities or suburban areas, we are living alone, have a few friends, and many of us are struggling with daily obligations, financials etc. Some are joining clubs and are more or less integrated in some kind of groups, but you don’t meet people easily and people don’t recommend other persons as a potential partner.
People do not recommend connections because there has been a culture shift away from meeting new people. There is a general mistrust of meeting new people and potential partners. Most people are involved in some sort of social media, from Facebook to Google Plus, most people are using some sort of social media channel, but does it all really help to find a long-time partner or even a spouse?
Let’s face it, Americans have not only high hopes and dreams but also very high demands when it comes to relationships, especially marriage and civil unions. Of course, standards should be high, it just seems most people hate to compromise and find it impossible to change their own standards for the sake of a new relationship. While I am not a psychologist, but these reasons alone show that America is not the best market to find a fresh, fitting spouse.
Is there really a perfect mate out there? In a word, yes. Your dream partner exists somewhere but finding this person is a different matter. It’s complicated, so why not focus on alternatives beyond our home country and comfort zone? The world has become a smaller place and in many aspects a place where large parts of populations are moving from one place to another, a planet where mobility and extreme flexibility is required to survive. With new chances always available, a new normal gives both women and men the chance to broaden their horizons and take advantage of movement and international acceptance.
It’s important to see the world in a different light and get different results in dating and relationships, but you first need to change your patterns and strategies which means that you need to broaden your playing field and horizon. At the end of the day, the success or failure of your relationship is in your hands.
Broaden Your Horizon and Playing Field
You might ask, are foreign men or women really suitable for a long-term relationship considering they come from a different culture, especially when you consider bringing this foreign person into your life and country? Well, it depends on the individual but in short, yes it’s possible and most likely, if you play your cards right, worthwhile. The bottom line is get a good man or woman who is worthy of you. I know full well that there are plenty of people out there who are manipulators, cheats, addicts, abusers, or worse. Those aren’t the men and women we are talking about in this book.
Here is another Japanese saying: “If you want to advance yourself and experience progress you need to have a good teacher and go abroad in order to learn how to succeed.” This saying probably applies to finding a spouse as well. If you are someone from the U.S. looking for a serious, practical, and hopefully handsome partner and you already have tried various ways, so far unsuccessfully, and still have high hopes, this can be a good option for you. Did you know there are plenty of men and women on the old continent of Europe who are open minded and would accept an average American and would be willing to go all the way? I am not talking about people who looking for a cheap way to stay in the US. Of course, those folks still exist and probably always will, but contrary to what you may have heard from the biased mass media, there are thousands of good minded people who, just like Americans, will deal with you honestly, who are educated, have manners and are overwhelmingly loyal.
There are many different reasons why people choose foreign women or men and you can use these reasons to your advantage or just flow with things as they go. There is generally attraction and availability as you expand your horizons.
Many foreign men love western women for their own specific reason. One reason I have heard many times is because, for foreigners from underdeveloped areas, including southern Europe, they view Western women as being easy.
The men also love the natural femininity. They don’t want to have anyone near them who is trying to change them, they want someone uncomplicated who makes them happy and is not draining their energy and resources.
Online Dating at Home vs. “Backup Dating” Abroad – A Necessary Toolkit
Before we discuss the specifics on how to find a suitable partner abroad, let’s explore a little what most of us have done and where most of us didn’t succeed. I am talking about online dating.
According to three independent studies from the UK, Germany and Canada, fact of the matter is that online dating doesn't work for 79 to 88% of the people who use it when their objective is marriage, and I could list many reasons why online dating is not the cure-all for relationship troubles. I talked to a friend of mine, she has a traditional marriage agency in Marbella, Spain; she told me, she knows that people are getting frustrated early in the game, after getting rejected with short obnoxious messages, and many try to make it up with numbers, they are with typing until their fingers fall off. This is just one reason why many are frustrated and online dating doesn't work. There are so many profiles with dead gorgeous people who almost seem to be perfect, but as soon this process goes one step further, let’s say via Skype, surely disappointment and sometimes shock follows. One way or the other, reality looks totally different in the virtual world.
As mentioned above, local online dating hardly ever works. But, getting good contacts in a foreign country is a different matter. Nevertheless, the rules for online dating abroad can be different, depending upon the country.
Generally, in Europe online dating is more localized and not as widespread as in the U.S.The UK is leading the pack. People are gathering more in local online-portals and the majority prefer meeting people from the same area. This does not mean they are close-minded- when it comes to meet foreigners. The largest online agencies are match.com, plentyoffish.com and cupid.com. Plentyoffish.com is popular among young people. Cupid.com has become an empire.
Anyone trying online dating, at home or abroad, has to be aware that there are many scammers and fake profiles out there.-Always insist on Skype or Facetime.
Bottom line is, if you are on the prowl for a suitable mate in Europe, always use local online dating platforms as a backup for your dating plans.
Online Dating in Asia – A Different Ballgame
In Asia, online dating and even more so, chat room dating, is huge! Because it is so widespread, a “Westerner” has to research for a longer time before a suitable candidate is found. However, you should be extra careful when searching for online dating material in Thailand and the Philippines. Profiles seldom are truthful, many online dating portals have a terrible reputation and scams are the norm, not the exception. Always take the fast lane and insist on conversation via Skype. Never send money, no matter how much trouble the person in question claims to have.
Don’t forget, once your profile on an Asian dating site is posted, you can expect hundreds of messages in a matter of weeks. If you area “Western” women, the numbers can be overwhelming.
If you have decided to find your dream partner in Asia, you most likely have considered countries such as Thailand, the Philippines or Indonesia. These are good countries to start, but bear in mind that poverty is rampant in these latitudes. The vast majority of men and women have only one reason to meet and to get involved with a “white” foreigner, and that’s because they assume you are rich, or have significantly more assets than what they and their extended family will ever have.
Asians, generally speaking, don’t like foreigners. Quite a few long-term expatriates can tell you a mountain of stories on how they got ripped off by locals. (I even have written a book about this whole subject – Forget about Southeast Asia – Move to Central America for Fun and Profit )http://www.amazon.com/Forget-Southeast-Asia-Retirement-Complete-ebook/dp/B00WSTTYI0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1450725136&sr=8-1&keywords=forget+southeast+asia
Let’s face it, online dating in Asia can be complicated. So, why bother with online dating with Asian people at all? As mentioned before, when done successfully you will quickly have a large number of people to contact, and again, Asia has more than half of the world’s population. In the end, it’s all a numbers game.
The best places to meet Asian men and women are not, as many might assume, bars and clubs. In most Asian major cities, food gatherings are huge, be it on beaches, markets or expositions. Local Asian people love to go there and meet new people. The first thing to do when you get there is get a SIM card for your phone and a personal or business card for a few dollars. Then you are ready to market yourself! Hand out cards to anyone who strikes you interesting and you will be surprised how fast Asian people respond (and, if you are female, how fast they get to the point when it comes to serious proposals)!
Online Dating in Latin America is not as widespread or common as in other parts of the world. Generally, depending on the area, men have a huge amount of choices. Younger generations use chatrooms but it is often more a hobby than anything else. Many women and man also try to find interesting people on Facebook. Usually it takes a long time to find suitable and honest people via online portals. Even though Latin America has a rather large number of online dating portals, many sites only exist in name. Many of these sites are unprofessional and therefore are hardly worth serious efforts.
A word about dating Latinos in general
Let me tell you upfront for the female reader: Under normal circumstances, and what experience tells me, Latin American men will never understand, and most wouldn't even try, a “Western” women. When it comes to relationships they are similar to Arab men, they like to control, but Latin people are 95% totally unreliable. There might be exceptions with the more educated and affluent social class but then again, if they have money, they really wouldn't need you.
Here is a piece of advise for the guys. Most Latina women are complicated by nature, Colombians especially, as nothing is straight forward, there are lots of twist and turns, and 95 % of foreigners seeking a Latina woman find mothers in need of financial help. Plus, there are also a few old virgins on the crazy side who are often involved with fanatical religious sects. There is a Spanish saying (without wanting me to step on anyone’s toe), “the bigger the ass the more underdeveloped the brain.”
Personal stories and experiences
This case happened about 5 years ago. I have known Alicia for quite a long time. Alicia is a woman in her mid-forties, from Ohio.
About 5 years ago, she went to the Dominican Republic on vacation by herself. Surprisingly, while on holiday, she got married to a native, a black guy, who is a few years younger than her. She brought him back to the States, but she had tremendous trouble with Immigration; nevertheless, eventually it worked out. They are now living in Cleveland.
Lee From the Bay Area Found his Luck in the Philippines
Lee is of Chinese origin, but grew up in San Francisco. He used to work for a non-profit, but he is really an artist. Lee has been to the Philippines numerous times and he had found plenty of girlfriends there, but he never got seriously involved with any of them.
Last year, he turned 50, and he was able to live in the Philippines on a retirement visa. He rented a house near Cebu and is now living with a very young woman and her 2 children. We talk sometimes and he sounds very happy. That’s what it’s all about.
Charisse in Berlin
Charisse is originally from Jamaica, but has been living in the Bay Area for at least 20 years. As far as I know, she always had complicated relationships. For some reason, she moved to Germany.,She is a licensed massage therapist, so she can make a living almost anywhere. Eventually she found a boyfriend, who later came to visit her in the States on a visa waiver. While in the U.S., they got married. It remains to be seen whether this works out for them.
Rick Moved to Medellin, Colombia
Rick met his dream girl online. He had always traveled a lot and knew Latin America like the back of his hand. More than once did go there on vacation; he was seeking fun and wanted to experience the culture. Eventually not only did he fall in love with this lady, he also fell in love with her country.
To finance his extended stay abroad, he began renting out his house in Bakersfield. As far as I know, he is still living in Columbia in a rented house with his fiancé.
Sami Found an American Dream Man in Italy
She had been to Italy numerous times and has been involved with a young guy from Naples. They dated for a while, became intimate, and eventually she became pregnant. Sami never got along with his mother who had been poisoning their relationship. The other problem was, her fiancé didn’t want to return with her to the States because his family was against it. So, she went back to the States pregnant, and by herself. Eventually, he followed her and he is now a restaurant manager in Central California. From the outside, it looks like it’s working out. The last I heard, they got married.
The Doctor I Met in Ecuador
This might not be a typical case, but this is more or less the story I heard from her. She is a doctor working for an NGO in Ecuador. She didn’t like the expat scene, so she did her own research online and met a German gentleman in Ecuador, who happens to be a doctor as well. As far as I know, they are not
Where are the best areas and countries to find a suitable partner?
Let’s assume you have made up your mind and at least want at least give it a shot. You want to go ahead and find a good suitable partner abroad. The basic question is, what areas and countries should you look at first?
There are many countries to choose from, but from an American perspective, you are advised to first look for a decent partner in Europe. The following chapters will give you an idea how to start things. For American women, Europe, especially Western Europe, should be a first choice. So, if you are female and from the U.S. and you are not into cultural changes or, perhaps you are not really into adapting to foreigners in general, it might be a good idea to first start searching for a North American who lives overseas. Thousands of American men are working in far-away countries.There are over 800 U.S. military bases worldwide. Overwhelmingly, the stationed soldiers are male and many are still single.. If you can put your mind to it, you will find your niche, and “home-made” partner faster than you might think.
If you are more adventurous and open minded, there is of course, the not so politically correct option of meeting Africans. As you probably heard, these are often desperate people, who think it’s impossible for them to live in their own country. The complicated topic of immigration aside, on this continent you will find huge numbers and “choices”.
Generally speaking, once you have arrived in their country, they will find you and swarm around you like a group of bees looking for fresh trees. So, it is entirely up to you what to make of all these offers. One “traditional” place where white women are searching for black men is Gambia, a small English speaking African country with lots of diverse tourists.Most tourists whovisit there come from the UK. Then, there is the East African country of Kenia, with an established network of married minded people. South of Kenia is Tanzania, which has fewer infrastructures, but a halfway educated, albeit dirt-poor, “upper social class”.
Personally, I think that if you are a woman, stay away from North-African men. They are deeply religious and usually have a very dominant attitude towards women.
Go Where the Action Is – The Where & How
Seeking a spouse in a foreign country is not an easy task, but If you take things a little too serious than this whole venture can be a burden. When you have just arrived, the new environment might be a little overwhelming. You will often notice yourself struggling to meet people and looking for ways to populate your empty social calendar. However, those who have prepared to find romance abroad know at least one person in the city they move to. That may include that smiling face you met on a dating site, or friends of a friend who is already living abroad.
One of the best sources for a potential new romance is making a connection with local expat communities. This can be accomplished by advertising in the local media (newspapers, magazines, TV etc.) and of course online forums. Additionally, large cities often have “MeetUp” or “Couchsurfing” groups. But be careful if you are inexperienced with strangers; sometimes, groups are centered around particular commercial interests, such as real estate or networking. But then again on the other side of the picture, this is a perfect solution if you are not familiar with the language and need to form interpersonal relationships quickly and easily, and it’s definitely healthier than a daily visit to an expat bar, where money-seeking pundits or even prostitutes, male and female, are looking for a newly arrived target. But, you probably need these community meetings to make first contacts. Of course, if you are into meeting your own compatriots and peers, these are perfect gathering spots.
Then, you have the obvious meeting places for foreigners. Most countries have places where foreigners and locals gather and, in most places, locals are open to meeting foreigners.
Every major travel guide will give you hints where to find them. For example, in Rome it’s the famous Spanish Steps. This is where many American women have found their Italian “Fabio” type of lover. In Paris, it is right beneath the Eiffel Tower, outside the Louvre and, of course, on the streets in open-air cafes. Prague is famous for foreigners who visit their Country to find lovers and partners. Intermingling takes place in many of the cozy pubs behind the Moldau Bridge.
For the guys, there are two areas in Europe that are known to find long-term human material. One such place is Odessa, Ukraine, with numerous marriage agencies, mail-order bride tours, and open advertising that appeal to Western men looking for a wife. Be forewarned, scams, dishonesty, and AIDS is wide-spread in this city. If you don’t have a grasp of the language, I recommend the Ukraine only if you travel with specialized travel agencies. Never fall for online contacts, the vast majority are a scam.
The other city is St. Petersburg, Russia. With a sophisticated dating scene, foreigners are still very welcome, as long the Russians think they brought money and visas.
Generally speaking, I would not recommend Eastern Europe for American women. Instead, I’d recommend Italy and, to a lesser degree, France.
Many people prefer to look for their dream partner in Asia. Not only “old” men looking for a kid a third of their age, but also many unconventional women, many from Europe, are heading to Bangkok, Jakarta and Cambodia to find a good mate.
A word of caution when choosing your area
Leaving karma theory aside, the main reason why we change locations is, we think it’s we will become happier when relocating because we are changing our environment. As you probably know, this is only partially true.
Interestingly when relocating abroad, many people are thinking of moving to a country. But in reality, you never move to a country, you move to a city or area. If someone would say they are planning to move to the US, it’s actually nonsense, because every city and every area is different. Especially in foreign countries, you find many climatic areas, mentalities and local cultures for different areas within the country, even if it’s is a small one.
Preparation and Arrivals
Now that you have made a decision to give this whole venture a shot and chosen your area, it’s time to make serious preparations. About three month before your trip you are well advised to create a profile on local online dating agencies. These dating sites have nothing to do with American or Euro major sites and serve basically as a back up for in between the times when you are on the prowl overseas.
Your trip should contain at least two areas. Remember, you actually never travel to a country but to a certain city or area. Every country has different subcultures and sometimes even different mentalities, especially in Europe and Asia. Make sure to research and book a decent hotel in advance, something suitable and “guest-friendly.” You don’t need to show off with a lavish luxury suite that might give false impressions of your financials that will attract the wrong crowd. Finding a suitable hotel or better a furnished apartment can be a little tricky because it should be close to nightlife, cafes, and where all of the action is. Usually these places are where hotels are more expensive. For security reasons you are well advised that everything, including your accommodations, look natural and low profile. It’s equally important that you insist seeing your online contacts via Skype or Facetime before meeting them in person.
One idea that has been proven helpful when searching for a soul mate involves going out and meeting people with a so-called wingman (or woman). This is a person or a friend who is traveling to the same destination with a similar interest. It just looks more natural to foreigners if you travel with a friend. If you don’t have a travel partner, you can find these people on forums for the specific country. Many people advertise the need for a wingman for a specific city and time quite openly.
Remember, let yourself indulge and completely let loose when you travel to other countries; it will be worth it.
Moving Forward – On The Prowl
In Europe its easy
When you arrive , don’t invent the wheel, go to those places where thousands have met strangers before, as mentioned earlier– in Rome it would be the Tivoli steps, – in Paris at the park directly under the Eifel tower, these are popular, well known meeting points, – where local men and women are looking for strangers to meet, and believe me, in these places even Americans are welcome.
So, isn’t it true, in some parts of Europe, mainly in countries such as Italy and Greece, most men are playboys and womenizer? This is a highly reported occurrence and yes, there is some truth behind this. It is not uncommon to meet a Greek or Italian man who has a wife, a hidden mistress, and a girlfriend or two on the side. That’s because in these countries the view of infidelity is different than in northern Europe or in the US.
If you are a men, Italian and Spanish women are open minded towards foreigners, but they are suspicious in nature, exactly for the reasons mentioned above.
Many people, but probably many more men than women thinking of Southeast Asia as their favorite hunting ground, not only for lon-term relation material but also for short-time pleasure (litarilly shorttime) If you want to go for Asia, I suggest Bangkok the cafes and little bars right before the entrance of nana plaza, – or if you consider to be one of the younger generations, eager to meet foreigners for romantic reasons, Bali has been an international hotspot for marriage minded foreigners who are looking for other foreigners, especially Australians but also many Japanese men for decades, no interruption in site.
If you are a woman from the US or UK you can try the better night-cafes in Banjul the capital of The Gambia, or on the African East coast the beach bars in Mombasa – here women have good choices between hunky locals or plenty or even men from central Europe, mainly Swiss, German and French. By the way, most African tourists are not backbackers on a shoestring but single men and women with a real life, income and career.
In Latin America
Finding your dream mate in Latin America
In case you have a knack for Latinos, – statistically marriages with a Latin American spouse are the most stable of all the foreign-local relationships. I have been living in Central and South American countries long enough to see what foreign women and men can learn regarding finding a partner that is suitable long-term material. Fact is, in those countries it’s more about local contacts then anything else
Of course, these countries offer options which are similar of what you already know and probably have experienced in your home country.
This is almost a “must” – join local churches, – the Catholic church which is predominant in Latin America, has numerous organizations and sub-agencies, which on a regular basis organize reunions, meetups and even parties. What’s also huge there are so called single parties. Believe me, at single parties foreigners are welcome. Single parties are almost exclusivtly advertised in local newspapers.
Another good way is to ask a friend if he/she know a good person who is willing to date a foreigner. Spread the word that you are serious person, hand out your phone number or business card, be patient, and Let them contact you first. This gives you some control over the phone call or first contact
In South America everything takes a little longer, – people are taking their time, but once they are committed to something or someone you can start to lead the way by presenting a road map for further in your relation. Don’t be shy about your intentions, – and keep your little promises.
Remember, in Latin America, if mamma doesn’t like you; he/she doesn’t like you. A marriage in Latin America is a huge step for the whole family, it’s not something people take lightly, so make sure you realize its significance.
A word about cruise-ship dating
I am no stranger to cruise travel, some of you probably think a cruise might be the ideal place to find a mate and partner, but from my own experience I must tell you this couldn't be further from the truth. 95% of cruise travelers are couples. If you take a cruise solo, you will stick out like sore thumb. Of course, you have those short-time fun cruises starting from Miami. These are rather small ships for youngsters having a party with loud hip-hop music and getting stoned and drunk, where everybody is showing off their healthy-lifestyle-body. It's just my opinion, but then again, you never know when luck or lightening will hit. From some European friends I have heard that river cruise ships are popular among middle-aged Germans and quite popular for a little “love hunting.” So if you get on board as a non-German, you might stick out in a positive way.
Closing the deal & getting your new spouse to the States or Europe
Let’s assume you have finally found someone who you think is long-term material.
You have to make a decision, are you willing to go all the way? Marrying a foreigner can involve many issues and problems; you need to think them through carefully. In most other countries, you are not only marrying your partner but his orher family as well. Marriage abroad can be a complex issue, sometimes with customs very different from your own country.
You may ask, what does it take to bring your new spouse home? I happen to have a few good friends in the expat community and I know quite a few lawyers who are specialized in immigration matters. I strongly recommend, especially these days, that if you have plans to marry a foreigner and are thinking of bringing your partner to the U.S. or Europe, hire a lawyer and get your paperwork ready before applying for any type of visa.
Generally, it is advisable that you get married in a foreign county first because, if you partner arrives on a tourist visa, that required paperwork might take many months, longer than your partner is allowed to stay in the country. Basically, if you plan a trip with serious dating intentions, it’s a good idea to bring your birth certificate and, if possible, a recent police record. In some countries, mainly in South America, you cannot get married without a specific visa that can be difficult to obtain. Always check these things online before you travel.
Here is a quick outline what you and your partner would need when planning to live in the U.S. and starting the immigration process:
The first step toward obtaining a marriage visa for your foreign spouse is filing a so called I-130 petition. This petition must be supported by the following documentation:
1. Proof that the petitioner is a U.S. citizen
2. Proof that the parties were legally free to marry at the time of their marriage
3. Proof of valid marriage between the petitioner and the beneficiary
4. Proof that the marriage is based on good-faith and not entered into for purposes of immigration
After immigration approves your I-130 petition, you must provide the following documents:
1. Affidavit of Support from the petitioner/U.S. sponsor
2. Supporting financial documentation from the sponsor including tax returns, pay stubs and employer letter
3. Application for Immigrant visa and Alien Registration, Form DS-230
4. Copy of applicant’s valid passport biographic data page
5. Applicant’s birth certificate
6. Marriage certificate
7. Applicant’s police certificate
9. Completed medical examination forms
After approval they will send you an appointment for an interview at your nearest immigration center, and if successful you both have to go to second interview a few years later.
Your Action & Battle Plan In A Nutshell
Make a decision to find your dream partner regardless the odds and be ready to go the extra mile
Choose an Area where you are comfortable traveling to, or where you have been before, where you have knowldege of the language. Make a crash course to learn some basics of the language, or get at least some decent apps
Set up your profile on foreign online dating sites that focus on a specific local area –
Be open on your profile, but never reveal anything that makes you vulnerable to blackmail or potential setups.
Make Travel Preparations
Flight should be both, flexible and cheap. Book a hotel for a few days in an area close to where the action is, – later you can always change hotels. Check online forums if hotels are guest friendly. Bring your birth certificate and a recent police record with you.
Make preparation to meet a wingman, or find a travel partner
Use travel forums, expat forums and search for expat meetups such as couchsurfing etc
Make a short list of your personal circumstances of what could go wrong overseas, and make some notes on a contingency plan
Have an escape plan, on how to leave this country quickly, this helps tremendously if the worst case scenario becomes reality
Make a list of venues, clubs, meeting points where you’d fit in, that fits your style and where you can be seen. To easy up potential encounters, have a few phrases in the foreign language ready and memorized. Go to local festivals, clubs and join local meetups
Make preparations to arrive at your destination in top shape especially when in the tropics or any underdeveloped country. Get healthy before you leave
As soon as you have arrived in (depending on country f.e. southern Europe and Latin America) plan to do advertising in the classified sections of popular newspapers
When going out to meet new friends, go to those places where others tried it before, don’t invent the wheel
For Those Staying Abroad
Sometimes life can take crazy turns. Now, imagine you have traveled overseas, have found your dream partner, and next comes the big move of bringing your spouse or fiancé back to your country. But what if your partner prefers to stay in her or his environment? What if you discover a new life, country, and mentality that gives you a whole new perspective? Now you are thinking of staying in this new country with a new spouse and perhaps an awesome new life. It has happened to many people I know personally who started to look for a living partner, perhaps on the search for true love and relationship, and guess what happened? Yes, they all decided against returning to their home country and started a new life in a foreign country. These where not necessarily world cities such as Paris or Rome, many times this new romance and life led to a new life and existence in so-called third world countries. This report wouldn’t be complete without investigating this phenomenon.
Relocation Today – Old Game but New Rules
Expatriate living is not a new phenomena, in former times people who chose to stay in foreign countries for an extended period of time had just another name. They were traders, immigrants and explorers. Nowadays it seems the world is mixing its folks and races everyday on a faster scale. Refugees become immigrants, perpetual travelers and long-time contractors expatriate. All the migration movements seem to accelerate on an ever higher speed and numbers, however traditionally, expats are people who want to start anew on their own free will. Especially Americans and Europeans are seeking actively new possibilities abroad plus an increasing number of retirees worldwide has made the expatriate life a lifestyle of choice at least in the western hemisphere.
The number of Americans living abroad has steadily grown over the past decade as more people have become interested in exploring another language and culture or finding an overseas job. While some people are transferred to an overseas post by their employer or have a job offer abroad, for the rest of us it is not always an easy task to figure out which country to choose.
Before plunging into any venture abroad, you should first ask yourself, what would be the nature of the objective and expectations you have for your overseas experience.
What are you main objectives? Any expat-to-be should start with a clear idea of what you want to achieve in a new country and what your interests are. Are you interested in retirement, employment, studies or perhaps starting a business? Of course, some future expats are looking for a long-term base from which they can explore a region, – practically this is a proven concept. You’d need a place from where you can start a continuing travel and activity. One basic but very important question is, would you really be ready to immerse yourself in a local and very different culture? Precisely would you be willing to adapt to them and their “culture”?
If an overseas job is your main objective, research before you leave whether your employment goals are realistic, your job skills are actually in demand and if you can obtain information about employment opportunities in the destination country.
Of course, employment or business opportunities are almost always connected with local visa and immigration laws. Fortunately in these days it’s easier than ever, most countries have good websites to find out the specifics. I have comprehensive information on this subject including resources for 15 countries on my site
Generally speaking, for a successful stay overseas it is highly preferable to match your new home country with your personal interests and your professional or educational objectives.
For Expats: Choosing Your Area – Europe, Southeast Asia & Latin America
There are basically two types of expats. Those who are sent by companies including contractors, and independent expats “on their own” who want to start over in another country. Expatriates who are independent from companies and who are not retirees come in all shades and from all different backgrounds, they are the most creative people you will probably ever meet, – and they have to be creative in terms of income, business-wise and also to adapt to a foreign culture without help from a government or big company. That’s why many expatriates have a special sense of freedom and many have courage, they are not afraid to leave many things behind and step into the unknown. If you are still at home you can become one of them, location and preparation is key.
Keep in mind, our world is changing rapidly; macro conditions, mentality, living situations and demographics are changing irreversibly in many countries and regions where expats gather.
There are many countries and exotic place to settle, but most independent expatriates end up living in one of the three hemispheres. Western Europe, Asia and Latin America.
For North Americans Europe is an obvious choice. One might think of the cultural experience, the sophisticated food, available healthcare, where most people speak English; in other words an established old and civilized continent where one can grow old happily, where people exchange smiles and courtesies one might think.
Most northern European countries share cultural characteristics with North America, and moving to a European country is not nearly as challenging as going to Asia, especially China or Japan for that matter.
Generally, European countries are not cheap, but there are other reasons on why the image of a country or area is often quite different than reality, and one particular reason is, the mainstream media distorts, exaggerates clichés and leaves out much of reality.
Traditionally, Europe has been the most favored dream vacation spot for Americans and people around the world, however, you get a whole different picture of a place once you start living there.
In Europe traditionally they have good food, friendly and probably less confrontational people than we have in the States, interesting history, the so called French l’affaire lifestyle, and most people have manners; but is all of this really enough to qualify the European continent as a retirement haven? Let’s assume you are semi-retired and are planning to start a business venture ― would that even be possible there?
Let me explain a few things that even most Europeans are not clearly aware of.
Europeans are controlled by officials, which most of them don’t mind, and they expect the state to take care of them in all kinds of situations. This fact alone has profound consequences for the retiree-to-be and of course for any entrepreneurial-spirited person thinking of setting up shop there.
In Europe all sorts of business and personal interaction is based on contracts, and I mean these are binding contracts with consequences and a reputation system along with it. Please remember, no matter where you settle in Europe, binding contracts are everywhere.
Europe has one foot in history and tradition and the other in officialdom, which means things change slowly.
Many Expats are critical of Europe
For anyone thinking of settling long-term on the old continent, financially speaking, it’s probably best to stay low-profile and be extremely careful when it comes to contracts or major investments.
One reason why many people don’t like Europe is because most of Europe has terrible dark winters, for instance, while Hamburg, Manchester and Copenhagen are located on the same latitude as Churchill in Hudson Bay.
I should mention, many Americans don’t like the “sophisticated and over-spiced” food with meager portions, and most North Americans prefer traditional family food ― the good old stuff ― which can be hard to get there.
For many expats there is this mundane argument of snobby people ― it’s supposed to be hard to find friends there, because folks stay in their inner circle. It’s not the whole truth, but since there is no real “Europe”, but rather a conglomeration of countries and different cultures, for the newcomer much depends on attitude and what you’re after.
I don’t want to discourage you, because not everything is negative there. For those who still see some virtues in Europe despite all the bureaucracy and the tendency towards being controlled by the government, a few places have more options than others. The countries around the Mediterranean are, to some extent, more livable than those regions north of the Alps.
Nevertheless, a great reason to set up shop in Europe, after all, is this lack of change, providing you with a nice lifestyle in terms of traditional courtesy, few confrontations, and, of course, personal amenities, such as healthy food and cheap liquors, scenic cities and an in the southern parts an agreeable climate.
Another interesting aspect for foreigners and investors in general is that due to the permanent economic crises in Spain, Italy, Greece and Portugal, real estate prices have hit rock bottom and won’t get any lower. This means that for the careful investor, there might be at least some valuable deals in the marketplace, but probably on the smaller end of the market; renting in general is incredibly cheap these days. Furthermore, in Spain and southern France you can find established expat communities, and it’s relatively easy to make social contacts; Spain for example has the highest density of golf courses in Europe which makes it a good place for the affluent retiree. – See my new ebook “Crazy Spain” http://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Spain-Modern-Mortar-Business-ebook/dp/B00KFYDZOY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1450725761&sr=8-1&keywords=crazy+spain
Southern Europe is quite affordable, and the younger generations in most of Europe speak English and hate any kind of noise (including from children), which makes the quality of life in general rather pleasant.
South East Asia
In the last decade or so, Southeast Asian countries such as Thailand, the Philippines and Cambodia have established themselves as a retirement hotspot for various people. Some of those include western retirees, digital nomads and individual business owners who chose to leave the rat race in their home country and enjoy life in a hemisphere where it’s supposed to be cheap, safe, fun and warm. It’s an area to be surrounded by welcoming people and it worked for many expats; an important factor for foreigners moving abroad is to secure a better quality of life and social scene, and this corner of the world offers it all.
It used to be very easy to stay long-term in most of these counties. However, immigrations laws in most of Southeast Asia including, Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam have changed dramatically over the last few years. Nowadays long term visas are only affordable for wealthy investors or government sponsored pensioners who don’t depend on a weak dollar or euro.
Business and employment wise it’s not an easy territory either.
The majority of opportunities for foreigners looking for work here are in the low-paid English teaching industry. Those expats looking to supplement their income, or even consider starting a business, will find it very hard to compete with the locals, and have to be prepared for an audacious process when obtaining long-term residency. Countries in Southeast Asia are almost certainly not going to offer you any long-term opportunities for advancement.
What countries in Southeast Asia really have to offer are the huge variety of amenities offered for foreigners, be it food choices, entertainment, or housing; it’s all there, everything is already established, and most expats agree that over the last decade or so countries such as Thailand and Vietnam have made it from a third-world country to a second-world place.
The problems with Southeast Asia, in a nutshell, are the new visa rules and perhaps a shift in attitude. For more information on this subject and many others see this book:
for many future expats Latin America is first choice because of proximity and relatively low living costs. Moving to Mexico from the US is much cheaper than, let’s say, moving to Brazil especially if you are considering shipping your furniture, car and household belongings.
The cultures in Latin America are relatively easy to adapt, however the mentality of Latinos completely family oriented, they are depending on each other for help, support and financial reasons.
Latinos are family people to the core — close families who keep to themselves and only let newcomers into their “inner circles” with a reason. Then again Latinos are spontaneous people and have a certain curiosity towards foreigners.
Latinos like to keep their style and tradition without interference from anyone. They expect the western foreigner to adopt their culture and language, which means you as a foreigner have to guess if it fits them or not. Needless to say, any foreigner traveling there should learn basic Spanish words; fortunately it’s easy.
In Latin America, foreigners are generally respected and free to do whatever they please as long as they respect common law and culture which in Central America is not too difficult to do. There are only a few customs and taboos that limit the daily conduct of a foreigner. Just like their Asian counterparts, Latinos have a “laissez-faire” attitude.
You can find plenty of fun, entertainment and distraction in Central America, especially Costa Rica, Nicaragua and Panama. They have more opportunities for any taste and lifestyle.
For retirees and expatriates, but especially for global entrepreneurs, Latin America is probably the most versatile region, even with certain prospects for business opportunities
Why is that so? The answer is simple; if you want to start a business, unlike in the U.S., start-up costs are substantially lower and most Latin American countries require less licenses and certificates to open a business.
For specifics on visas and immigration to Central and South American countries please see my Latin American country guides and on my website
Thank you for buying my ebook. I wish you good luck, and all the best with your future endeavors abroad; if you found this book useful I’d greatly appreciate if you would post me a positive review on Amazon, your support and feedback does make a difference! Thanks again.
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