Steal a 15p sweet from the corner shop and the PoPo will pursue you to a caution or a Court hearing like it’s the crown jewels you stole but if the shop steals your land by, for example, putting an illegal air conditioning unit in your garden … the PoPo don’t wanna know. So for the pecuniarily challenged in possession of non-liquid assets there are many internet forum threads and newspaper articles on Trespass to Land. The most common advice on taking someone to Court for any reasons whatsoever (but particularly trespass) that you will find on the internet is “don’t” and “it’s not worth it” and “the land isn’t worth the court costs you will incur”. Following close behind are “you can be made bankrupt by losing a Court Case” …and “it isn’t always easy to recover costs.” A small army of articles and people will also advise you for free to pay for legal advice that is expensive. I did not. And so it is that I have written this short essay dedicated to many wasted man hours trying to navigate a jungle of passive aggressive legal nonsense and how I beat through it to justice.