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Farm Tales: Short Stories, Games, Jokes, and More!

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Farm Tales

Uncle Amon

Uncle Amon Books

~~~

Shakespir Edition

Copyright © 2014 Uncle Amon Books

All rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction. Graphics and images used in this book are licensed and © Dollar Photo Club. No part of this book or this book as a whole may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form or means without written permission from the publisher.

Shakespir Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

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Ricky the Farm Boy

Delores the Cow

Buddy the Wonder Goat

Lucky the Rooster

Eleanor’s Egg

Farm Jokes

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[] Ricky the Farm Boy

Ricky had been a farmer his whole life. He grew up with pigs and goats, cows and chickens. He was 10 years old when his dad told him that he would have to start doing chores every day. He had always helped out on the farm, but now he had responsibilities. Ricky didn’t mind, he loved being a farmer and taking care of his animal friends. His favorite part of the day was the morning feeding and it always went the same way.

First, Ricky put on his giant rubber boots and then he headed outside. He would always bend down to pet Tex the bulldog. Tex’s house sat on the front porch. He would scratch the old dog behind his ears. Tex would roll towards Ricky, but he rarely opened his eyes for these early morning pettings.

The first animals to get fed were the chickens. The coop was between the house and the barn. The chicken feed was in a pail outside of the fence. Ricky scooped out a cup full and tossed it out on the ground inside the coop. Ricky loved to watch the chickens pecking hungrily at the ground, “I will be back for the eggs later.” He would say as he headed off to the barns. Before he left the chickens he always tipped his hat to Lucky the rooster, and Lucky would respond with a head wag.

As Ricky entered the barn he started to separate the feed for the larger animals. He needed three pails for the cows, and a half a pail each for Herman the sheep, and Buddy the goat. Herman and Buddy were closer to the front of the barn so Ricky fed them first and then opened their gate so that they could get out into their pasture. Herman always seemed reluctant to go outside, but Buddy would not let him stay inside. Buddy would set his head down and nudge Herman in the direction he needed to go.

The cows came next. Ricky spread the pails of food out into a long trough. He always kept a little in the last pail for Delores, his favorite cow. There was just something about Delores. She was nothing like the other cows. She seemed to enjoy every bit of her day. Ricky swore that he could see her mind at work as she moved through the pasture. “That cow is a dreamer.” Ricky had told his parents. Every time his father tried to sell some cows, Ricky would make sure that Delores stayed on the farm. He did not want to lose his favorite cow.

With his chores done for the morning, Ricky would head off to his favorite thinking spot. It was a hammock between two large oak trees. There he would lay and dream until it was time to take care of the animals once again. He wondered to himself as he was about to doze off, “What do the animals do every morning while I sleep?” He started to imagine the animals walking and talking as the soft swinging motion and the rustling leaves carried him off to sleep.

[] Delores the Cow

Delores the cow was a dreamer. She wanted more than a simple pastoral life. She wanted to leave the farm and see the world beyond. The other cows were always getting mad at her for not being happy with the life she had. “You have green grass under your hooves and new straw to sleep on twice a week, a cow cannot ask for anymore.” Helga, the oldest of the cows would always say. All of the other cows listened to Helga and so none of them wanted to be seen talking to Delores. The other cows would look the other way whenever Delores came near.

Delores was grazing, just after the farm boy had opened the gates, all the other cows were still at the trough when a purple flower just outside of the pasture fence caught Delores’ attention. She had never seen anything so beautiful in all her life. Flowers never grew inside the pasture. Dandelions could be found sometimes, but the other cows would always eat them right away. Delores had always heard about how sweet flowers smelled. She decided she needed to find out for herself.

All of the other cows were busily munching their morning meal as Delores jogged towards the fence. She started trying to get her head onto the other side of the wire and wooden fence. None of the spaces seemed to be big enough. Delores started to nudge the wires with her nose to make the opening bigger. The wires spread apart and the eager cow started to push her head through. She got her head out all the way to her ears before she got stopped.

Delores looked at the flower. It was so close, but she was not close enough to smell it. She knew that she had to know what it smelled like, so Delores reared back and thrust her head forward. The quick motion was enough to loosen the wires and her nose ended up planted firmly into the flower. She inhaled that delicious scent. It was the most amazing thing she had ever smelled in her life.

The flower wrapped around her nose and it made Delores forget about the smelly barn and the cow pies in the pasture. She stood for a long time breathing in the smell of the flower. As Delores enjoyed the flower’s scent, it occurred to her all of a sudden that she had not eaten any breakfast. Her stomach had begun to quake. All four chambers were empty and Delores could feel them shaking with hunger.

The brown and white cow tried to back herself out of the fence, but no matter what she did the fence would not budge. She tried to move fast, she tried to wiggle slowly, but nothing was working. Helga led the other cows over to where Delores was struggling, “Do you see, ladies? This is what happens when you are not happy with the grass on this side. Greener though it may be, the grass on the other side is there for a reason.”

“Could you please just help me?” Delores pleaded, but the older cow simply put her nose up in the air and walked away, leading all of the other cows with her. Delores started to cry. She was so hungry and nobody would help her.

“Do you need help?” Delores heard a voice say.

“Yes, I am stuck.” Delores replied she looked up to see Herman the sheep standing just to the side of her head.

“Good,” said Herman, “He has been looking for someone to help all morning.” Herman said and just as Delores started to ask who Herman was talking about she saw Buddy the goat barreling towards her. Delores lowered her head and closed her eyes. Buddy packed a real wallop that sent Delores reeling head over heels. “You’re welcome,” said Herman as Delores sat on her haunches like a dog.

As the cobwebs cleared out of the cow’s brain, Delores started to move lazily towards the feeding trough. As she walked she looked over at the cows, who were all watching her, their snouts were quickly raised up into the air. Delores smiled because the other cows were jealous. They had never smelled a flower.

[] Buddy the Wonder Goat

Buddy started his day the same way every day. Herman dreaded this wake up routine all night and all morning. It was a long process. The first part was simple, go eat. Buddy had a spot that he liked to stand in while he ate, but he also had a place he liked Herman to stand in. Buddy would drop his two, spear like horns and use them to nudge Herman into position every morning. Herman always tried to find the spot on his own, but somehow he was always wrong and Buddy would have to move him.

The next part of his daily routine was to practice his super hero moves. Some people were unaware, but the world’s only real goat super hero is Buddy the Wonder Goat. He doesn’t wear a cape, but mainly because whenever he does, people take it away from him. The people on the farm do not understand Buddy’s calling and they are constantly interfering. Buddy practices his super hero charge every morning by yelling, “Charge forward for justice!” This is his battle cry.

After a short nap, Buddy starts his patrol of the barnyard. Herman refuses to admit it, but he is Buddy’s sidekick. Every great super hero needs a sidekick. The two friends patrol the farm together from their pasture. Buddy will call out, “Do you see any trouble?” As he scans over the ground toward the chicken coop and the farm house, he does not even notice what Herman is doing.

“It all looks good,” Herman will say, without lifting his head. Herman uses this time to make up for all of the time he gets pushed around. These are the calmest moments of his day. Today Herman helped Buddy save a cow that was trapped in the fence. He thought that this would be enough and he could have a rest. That was when Buddy had a great idea.

“We need to get capes,” Buddy said as he watched the cow walk slowly into the barn. Herman could not believe his ears. They had tried to get capes 10 or 15 times in the last two years and it had yet to work. It was just a waste of time as far as he was concerned. He tried to reason with Buddy, but the only response he got was, “Super heroes need capes and so do their sidekicks.”

Herman finally looked up from the grass he was chewing. He followed Buddy’s eyes to the clothesline were the farmer’s wife was hanging up towels. She finished hanging the towels and went inside the house. “You stand in front of the fence and I will use you to jump over the fence,” the Wonder Goat said. Herman knew he would just be pushed into position any way so he got in front of the fence.

“You know,” said Herman, “I think the super hero thing to do would be to charge through the fence.” Herman was hoping that would be enough to change Buddy’s mind about using the sheep as a platform.

“You’re right,” said Buddy, “I should act like a super hero.” Buddy ran at the fence and gave it everything he had. He busted through the fence and was on his way to get their capes. Herman found this a great time to lay on the ground and get some rest! Herman thought to himself, “That is what super heroes do.”

[] Lucky the Rooster

Lucky was a smaller rooster, but he was the bravest rooster on the farm. He was truly a magnificent bird. All of the hens in the coop thought that Lucky was the most handsome rooster that they had ever seen.

Lucky was also very fast. His flashy looks were just a part of what made him look so good. It was also his confidence in the face of danger. Lucky was fast enough that he always thought he could run himself out of trouble.

The only real trouble on the farm was a fox named Horace. Horace loved the taste of chicken and he really only had one purpose in life, to eat chickens. Horace tried to attack the chickens every day and most of the time he was chased off by the bulldog, Tex. However, it was getting harder and harder to rely on Tex. As the bulldog got older, he started to sleep more and more. In fact, the last time that Horace came to the coop he almost ate poor Eleanor.

This morning as Lucky watched the farm boy go to his hammock, he noticed a white piece of fur sticking out from behind a mound of straw. The fur swayed back and forth, but it was not the wind that was moving this fur. Lucky knew that Horace was at the end of that tail. The young rooster surveyed the farmyard. Tex was dozing on the porch. The bulldog’s heavy brow was firmly over his little eyes. Lucky looked over at the hammock, the farm boy was fast asleep.

Lucky called to the hens, “Get to the top of the coop!” The rooster knew that Horace could not get to the top perches inside of the chicken coop. Three of the hens flew inside the coop and got to safety. Lucky stared at Eleanor, who was quaking in fear. Lucky called out to her, but the hen could not move. Lucky knew he had to do something to save Eleanor.

“Where is Wonder Goat when you need him?” asked Lucky as he looked over to see the goat pulling towels off the clothes line. Herman, who was standing nearby, shrugged at the rooster and continued to graze.

Lucky jumped from the roof of the barn and flapped his wings furiously to get over the fence. He charged out towards the fox that was creeping ever closer to the coop. Horace ran out to meet the rooster. Lucky dangled his long feathered tail at the fox, and danced around to make the tail as tantalizing as possible. Horace dove for the tail. Like a matador fighting a bull, Lucky swished his tail out of the way and narrowly escaped Horace’s jaws. Lucky continued to tease the fox, “You can’t catch me!” He shouted at his enemy. Lucky continued to make his tail as big as possible and he kept shaking it at Horace.

Lucky had one target in mind and he kept moving Horace closer and closer to it. With each miss of the Rooster’s tail the fox grew madder and madder. He had completely lost track of what part of the barnyard he was in. Horace was focused on that red feathered tail in front of him as he charged. He was moving as fast as his legs could go as he dove. The rooster’s tail swung out of the way to reveal…the dog house. Horace was nose to nose with Tex the bulldog. Horace turned to run, but it was hard to turn in such a tight space.

Lucky did not wait to see the results of his victory. He heard a loud yelp and saw the fox running towards the woods.

Horace never tried to mess with the chickens again!

[] Eleanor’s Egg

As Lucky walked back to the coop he heard a, “BBBBGGGGAAAAAAAWWWWWWKKKKKKKKKKKK!” It sounded like no other sound he had heard before. Lucky saw Eleanor rise up four feet in the air. She was sitting atop the largest egg any of the chickens had ever seen. Eleanor passed out on top of the egg. Lucky had never seen her so tired. All of the chickens came out of the coop to look at the weird orb that sat in the middle of their yard.

Lucky tried to keep the other chickens back. The hens wanted to get close to it, but Lucky knew that they would just peck at it until it broke. They are chickens after all and that is what they do. Lucky wanted to keep the giant egg. As he fought off the three hens, Lucky had an idea. “Tex,” called Lucky, “Can you find me some straw?”

The bulldog spit a patch of red fox fur out of his mouth and nodded his head. “Ok, ladies, we are saving this egg.” Lucky told the hens. They all agreed to help.

Lucky relaxed his hold on the chickens as Tex started throwing bits of straw over the fence. The chickens got to work covering up the egg. “We will hide it from the farmers and it will be our special egg.” said Lucky as he went back to get more straw.

He had only turned his back for a minute when he heard, “Crack, BOOM!” The egg exploded. The giant shell fell away and the sleeping Eleanor fell too. Inside the giant egg hundreds of little eggs rolled across the little fenced in the yard outside the coop.

There was no need to ask who had done it. Frozen in the pecking position, Ethel looked utterly confounded. She was staring straight ahead, her body was as still as a statue. Lucky could not believe it either, and he glared at Ethel as the eggs rolled around his feet.

The boom was so loud it woke the farm boy from his slumbers. Ricky yawned and stretched as he slowly got himself out of the hammock. Tex ran up to Ricky with a fox tail in his mouth. “Gross, Tex, where do you find this?” Ricky took the fox tail and put it in the back pocket of his coveralls. Tex groaned and then followed Ricky through the farmyard. Ricky walked over to the cow pasture and he noticed a flower along the way. He picked the purple flower as he approached the fence and Delores came trotting over to the farm boy. Ricky put the flower in the collar that held Delores’ cow bell. The cow went happily on her way.

Ricky walked over to see Buddy and Herman. The sheep was grazing happily as the goat slept by the fence post.

“Why is that goat so lazy, Tex?” Ricky asked as the bulldog as he put his front legs up on the fence to get closer to his friend. Ricky patted the old dog. “I am just going to grab the eggs real quick and then we will go for lunch,” the young boy told his faithful companion. Tex groaned, he knew that lunch was a long ways off.

Ricky stood there puzzled at why there was so many egg shells on the ground.

“Looks like a giant egg exploded,” he said as he started picking up the smaller eggs on the ground.

[] Farm Jokes

Q: What do chickens serve at a birthday party?
A: Coop-cakes!

Q: How much money did the bronco have?
A: Only a buck!

Q: Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?
A: Pigs want to be pulled through the mud hole!

Q: What is the golden rule for a cow?
A: Do unto udders as you would have udders do unto you!

Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
A: An eggroll!

Q: Why did the piglets do so bad in school?
A: They were all slow-loiners!

Q: What happens when a cow stops shaving?
A: It grows a mooostache!

Q: What do you give a sick horse?
A: Cough stirrup!

Q: What do you give a sick pig?
A: Oinkment!

Q: Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
A: He was not what he was cracked up to be!

Q: What do cows get when they feel sick?
A: Hay fever!

Q: What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?
A: A horse is walking around in his socks!

Q: How long do chickens usually work?
A: Around the cluck!

Q: What do cows like to do at amooosement parks?
A: Ride the roller cowsters!

Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: Alarm cluck!

Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
A: His bark was much worse than his bite!

Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: Let a cow jump on a trampoline!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: He wanted to get to the other slide!

Q: How does a cow do math?
A: With a cowculator!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove he was not a chicken!

Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the whole show!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: He heard the referee calling fowls!

Q: In what state will you find the most cows?
A: Moo York!

Q: How do you get a dog to stop barking in the front yard?
A: Put him in the back yard!

Q: What happened when ducks tell a joke?
A: Everyone quacks up!

Q: What do you call a cow lying on the ground?
A: Ground beef!

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[] More Books by Uncle Amon

Copyright © 2015

All rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction. No part of this book or this book as a whole may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form or means without written permission from the publisher.


Farm Tales: Short Stories, Games, Jokes, and More!

Are you looking for a children's book that is highly entertaining, great for beginning readers, and is jam-packed with stories, jokes, and more? Follow the adventures of Farm Tales! This is an excellent read for early and beginning readers. Each story contains an important moral and lesson with cute and bright illustrations for younger readers & a free coloring book! These stories are great for quick bedtime stories and cute tales to be read aloud with friends and family! -Excellent for early and beginning readers -Great for reading aloud with friends and family -Cute short stories that are great for a quick bedtime story -Funny and hilarious jokes & illustrations for kids -Coloring book downloads included This books is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and read aloud at home. Story List & Activities: -Ricky the Farm Boy -Delores the Cow -Buddy the Wonder Goat -Lucky the Rooster -Eleanor’s Egg -Farm Jokes -Coloring Book Downloads Scroll up and click 'buy' and spend some quality time with your child!

  • Author: Hey Sup Bye Publishing
  • Published: 2015-11-09 16:50:08
  • Words: 3639
Farm Tales: Short Stories, Games, Jokes, and More! Farm Tales: Short Stories, Games, Jokes, and More!