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Dog Jokes: Funny Jokes for Kids!

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Dog Jokes

Uncle Amon

Uncle Amon Books

~~~

Shakespir Edition

Copyright © 2014 Uncle Amon Books

All rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction. Graphics and images used in this book are licensed and © Dollar Photo Club. No part of this book or this book as a whole may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form or means without written permission from the publisher.

Shakespir Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Free Gift!

Funny Dog Jokes

Puzzle 1

Puzzle 2

Puzzle 3

Puzzle 4

Puzzle Solutions

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[][][][][][][][][] Funny Dog Jokes

Q: Where do you usually find lost dogs?

A: It all depends on where you lose them.

Q: If your dog eats a dictionary, what should you do?

A: Take the words right out of his mouth!

Q: When is a dog most impolite?

A: When he points.

Q: What is worse than a dog howling at the moon?

A: Two dogs howling at the moon together.

Q: What is taller when it sits down than when it stands up?

A: A dog!

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?

A: A dog that catches all the cars it chases!

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a giraffe?

A: An animal that barks at low flying aircraft!

Q: What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?

A: A bud hound!

Q: What do you call a happy Lassie?

A: Jolly collie!

Q: What does a Chihuahua play basketball with?

A: A tennis ball!

Q: What kinds of computers do Chihuahuas like best?

A: Lap-tops!

Q: Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard?

A: They are all paws!

Q: What kind of dog is a human’s best friend?

A: Palmatian!

Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?

A: His bark was much worse than his bite!

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A: Collie-flower!

Q: What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog?

A: Chump chops!

Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?

A: Well, doggone!

Q: What is the dog’s favorite city?

A: New Yorkie!

Q: Why didn’t the dog speak to his foot?

A: Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw!

Q: What do you call a boring dog?

A: Dull-mation!

Q: What kind of dog always gets on everyone’s nerves?

A: A great pane!

Q: What dog takes the money and runs fast!

A: A payhound!

Q: How can you tell a dog from a tomato?

A: Really? You should know.

Q: How do you find your dog if he is lost in the woods?

A: Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark!

Q: What did the dog get when he multiplied 5 times 3?

A: The wrong answer. Dogs do not know math!

Q: What did the dog do with the history professor?

A: They got together and talked about old times!

Q: How do you stop a dog from barking in the front yard?

A: Put him in the back yard!

Q: How did the dog’s owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?

A: He was foaming at the mouth!

Q: Why do dogs run in circles?

A: Because it’s not easy to run in squares!

Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?

A: A dusky husky!

Q: What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off of the table?

A: He will get splinters in his mouth!

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole?

A: A dog that barks up the wrong tree!

Q: When is a black dog not a black dog?

A: When it’s a greyhound!

Q: What do you call a Pizza Hutt delivery dog in the middle of a muddy road?

A: A mutt in a rut working for Pizza Hutt!

Q: How would feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon?

A: Melon-collie!

Q: What do you call a litter of puppies in the snow?

A: Slush puppies!

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?

A: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

Q: What do you get if cross two puppies with a pair of earplugs?

A: Hush puppies!

Q: What do you get if you cross a computer with a Rottweiler?

A: A computer with a lot of bites!

Q: What’s a dog’s favorite hobby?

A: Collecting fleas!

Q: What is a dog’s favorite food?

A: Anything that is on your plate!

Q: What do dogs have that no other animals have?

A: Puppy dogs!

Q: Why do you need a license for a dog and not for a cat?

A: Cats don’t know how to drive!

Q: What kind of dog chases anything wearing red?

A: A bull dog!

Q: When does a dog go moo?

A: When it is learning a new languages!

Q: How do you stop a dog from smelling?

A: Take away his nose!

Q: Why is it called a litter of puppies?

A: They mess up the whole house!

Q: What did the hungry Dalmatian say after she ate a meal?

A: That hit the spots!

Q: What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?

A: Sausage dog!

Q: Why was the mother flea so unhappy?

A: All her children have gone to the dogs.

Q: Why does a dog wag his tail?

A: No one else will do it for him!

Q: What side of the dog has the most fur?

A: The outside.

Q: What did the pup say when he sat on the sandpaper?

A: RUFF!

Q: What kind of dog does Dracula like?

A: A bloodhound.

Q: Why did the lazy person buy a very tall dog?

A: So he would not have to bend down to pet it.

Q: Why did the dog run in circles?

A: He was just chasing after his tail.

Q: Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?

A: Because the tomato was in a can!

Q: Which dog does not have a tail?

A: A hot dog!

Q: Which dog looks like a cat?

A: Police dog in disguise.

Q: Which dog can tell time?

A: A watchdog.

Q: Why is a dog like a baseball player?

A: He runs for home when he sees the catcher coming!

Q: Why does a dog scratch himself?

A: He is the only one that knows where it itches.

Q: Why did the dog’s owner think his dog was a great mathematician?

A: He asked the dog what six minus six was and the dog said nothing.

Q: Why did the injured dog say he was an actor?

A: His leg was in a cast.

Q: What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?

A: Complaint Bernard!

Q: What dog would you want on your football team?

A: A golden receiver!

Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?

A: Terrier-fied and scared!

Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?

A: Lassie who plays brassie!

Q: What kind of dog does not do well in hot weather?

A: Faint Bernard!

Q: What kind of dog wears a white coat and does science experiments?

A: Labs!

Q: What kind of dog is the most colorful?

A: Paint Bernard!

Q: What dog is always tired in London?

A: English sleep dog.

Q: Why should you never watch a video with a Chihuahua?

A: It always plays with the paws button on the DVD player.

Q: What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua?

A: A short one!

Q: What is a Chihuahua’s favorite sport?

A: Miniature golf!

Q: Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers?

A: They have short tales!

Q: How do you make a dog float?

A: Two scoops of ice cream, a little bit of soda, and a small dog.

Q: What should you do if you have a basset hound over for dinner?

A: Get a shorter table!

Q: What kind of dog can you best see in the dark?

A: Glowberman Pinscher!

Q: What has eighteen legs and chases after the ball?

A: The Philadelphia Beagles!

Q: What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of?

A: Doberman puncher!

Q: Why did the dog jump into the lake?

A: He wanted to chase a catfish!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a bird?

A: Doberman fincher!

Q: What dog rides a horse named Macaroni?

A: Yankee poodle!

Q: What is the best way to follow a lost dogs paw prints?

A: With a tracking device!

Q: What is the best kind of dog to ask for directions?

A: Chihuahua, because it knows all the shortcuts!

Q: What do you say when a Chihuahua sneezes?

A: Get a small hankie!

Q: What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?

A: Short pants!

Q: What is black and white and red all over?

A: A Chihuahua in a tuxedo that tripped into a jar of salsa!

Q: What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road?

A: Look out for those mice!

Q: When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around?

A: They were helpful during the Roverlutionary War!

Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?

A: He stole the show!

Q: When is a strange dog most likely to come into your house?

A: When the door is wide open!

Q: Why is a dog’s nose in the middle of its face?

A: Because it is the scenter.

Q: Why did the dog cross the road?

A: It was the chicken’s day off.

Q: What do you say to a dog before he eats?

A: Bone appetite!

Q: How do you get a dog to stop barking in the back seat of a car?

A: Put him in the front seat!

Q: How did bulldogs get such flat noses?

A: From chasing too many cars.

Q: What is black and white and red all over?

A: A sun-burned Dalmatian!

Q: What is a dog who crosses the street twice in an hour?

A: A double crosser!

Q: What has 2,000 eyes and 4,000 feet?

A: 1,000 dogs.

Q: What is a baseball dog?

A: One that chases fowls (fouls).

Q: What happened when the shaggy dog swallowed a teaspoon?

A: He was not able to stir.

Q: What was the dog doing on the turnpike?

A: About eight miles an hour!

Q: What should you know before you teach your dog a new trick?

A: You should know more than the dog!

Q: What should you do if you see a vicious dog?

A: Hope he cannot see you!

Q: What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound dog in your kitchen?

A: Go to a restaurant!

Q: What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?

A: A retail store!

Q: What did the dog say to the pig?

A: You are just a boar.

Q: What did the dog say when he chased his tail?

A: This is the end!

Q: How did the puppy feel when he lost his flashlight?

A: Delighted.

Q: Why is a dog scared of a fire?

A: Dogs do not want to become hot dogs!

~ ~ ~

I kindly ask that you leave an honest review, because I’d love to hear your thoughts, opinions, and feedback. Thank you so much and have an awesome day!

[][][] Puzzle 1

Can you find your way through the maze?

[][] Puzzle 2

Can you find your way through the maze?

[][] Puzzle 3

Can you find your way through the maze?

[][] Puzzle 4

Can you find your way through the maze?

[][][] Puzzle Solutions

For more fun children’s books click the link below!

[]Uncle Amon Books

All rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction. No part of this book or this book as a whole may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form or means without written permission from the publisher.


Dog Jokes: Funny Jokes for Kids!

100+ Funny and Hilarious Dog Jokes for Kids! Joke telling is very fun and can bring a smile to the face of others. Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in story-telling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean jokes about dogs and puppies. Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with this funny dog joke book. Beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment. This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. Jokes from this funny book... Q: Where do you usually find lost dogs? A: It all depends on where you lose them! HAHA! Q: What kind of dog sniffs out flowers? A: A bud hound! LOL! Q: What do you call a happy Lassie? A: A jolly collie! HAHA! Q: What kind of dog is a human's best friend? A: Palmation! LOL! Q: How do you stop a dog from barking in the front yard? A: Put him in the back yard! HAHA! Q: Why did the dog run in circles? A: Because it is not that easy to run in squares! The Funniest Dog Jokes for in the World! (Clean Jokes for Children) -100+ funny dog and puppy jokes -Excellent for early and beginning readers -Lots of fun and entertainment for your child -Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud This funny joke book is full of funny dog and puppy jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about dogs and puppies will have you laughing for hours. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning. Scroll up and click 'buy' to get your paws on this funny joke book!

  • ISBN: 9781370162024
  • Author: Hey Sup Bye Publishing
  • Published: 2017-08-08 18:35:13
  • Words: 2199
Dog Jokes: Funny Jokes for Kids! Dog Jokes: Funny Jokes for Kids!