Diaries From The Field – Chapter 4 – Swinging Balls
by Kennie Kayoz
Copyright 2016 Coyotes Publishing
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Not sure where I last left you but I was running with the Wizard King, got sick and tired of him calling me “Douchebag” I later got promoted so it then changed up to “Sir Douchebag” so when opportunity presented itself to me and a boy named Kyle invited me join the Elves I jumped on it, in hopes of getting revenge on that fat ass.
Well it turns out the “Douchebag” tag followed me as they keep calling me that, however I have proved my loyalty to them, which is good because they don’t know what I really have planned for them. Every where I go with them I have someone following me, either another boy named Stan or a disabled boy name Jimmy… I gotta say Jimmy is a funny fucker when it comes down to it so I don’t mind hanging out with him.
I later found out that fat ass hid the almighty stick in his school desk, so we all met at school for a giant war for the stick.. During the battles I got to get eye to eye with that fat ass and battle him… I walked out the victor.. That’s what he gets for calling me douchebag, I finally extracted my revenge.
I couldn’t help but celebrate but then it brought new problems, a new boy by the name Clyde took the stick and he introduced his troops… That seem to be zombies made with this green crap that showed up since I was in the UFO, When you come in contact with it you turn into a zombie..
So now me and the rest of the elves are after Clyde for the almighty stick… As we got them cornered it turned out to be late, everyone got called home so I ventured home, emptied my pockets and backpack into my tickletrunk before calling it a night… I later got woke up by what I later discovered were not just gnomes but underpants gnomes who shrunk me down to the same size as they are… They later took off into a hole in my wall so I gave chase battling as I catch small groups..
Also battling a few rats as well but they certainly seem like monsters with me being that small…
I later managed to get through the maze in my wall and pushed out an outlet to get me out but I didn’t exactly want to come out where I did since I came out in my parents room on the dresser, first image I seen were my parents doing various sex acts and having to hear them say various things.
If this doesn’t put me in a psychiatrists chair I don’t know what will, while still trying to battle these bastard underwear gnomes I chased one to the last place I wanted to be…
Imagine yourself being gnome size… small enough to not be seen and be on your parents bed while they’re doing various sex acts, having to dodge various saggy things of your own mother and at times your fathers balls from swinging down.
This isn’t exactly where I wanted to fight.
I managed to escape the horror however the mental image will certainly put me into a psychiatrist chair for years.
Earlier in the night I overheard my parents talk about me and talk about “powers” that I have, I have no idea what they’re talking about. But they mentioned about that being the reason for us moving.
Now it’s time to get back to sleep if I can put that horror out of my mind.