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common sense (nobody has it anymore)

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common sense

(by the way, nobody has it anymore)

By

Gabriel McMillan

To all Kayne West fans, you all suck.

Chapter 1

Just before the hate

DISCLAIMER: By reading this book at all, you are agreeing to an informal contractual congress with the author, one Gabriel McMillan, known from here on out as The Neck. Semi-legally recognized in several states and countries (including Ethiopia) this agreement grants the right for the author to smack any and all readers in the face if you commit any of the idiotic atrocities that will soon be explained in the tome you now hold in your hands (unless you can’t read, in which you are SCREWED!). Thank you for your attention, and “enjoy” the book.

It was one odd night a few weeks ago, I was in Texas celebrating my dad and aunt’s birthday, everyone, including the teenagers, were drinking (except me, otherwise how would I remember the party at all), everyone wanted to play country music and (attempt to) dance to it, me at that time being the DJ, I played Pantera’s ‘Walk’ , they yelled and said “PLAY COUNTRY MUSIC DUMBASS” and I said “This is my country music playlist”, they said play Pop music, which leads us into the music section of the book. I would first like to point out that this book will be taking a look at the facts that prove that we are so diluted in society. If you would like a refund after reading this book, send the book to 00000 0th ST, City, State 00000-0000, oh wait, this book is digital only, so…. you are going to have to deal with it.

Chapter 2

Music

One night in, Glastonbury (which is basically Coachella with an accent), Kanye West said the following words, “You are witnessing the greatest rockstar ever” then proceeds to screw the words up to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen…………………………………….. IN ENGLAND!!! So basically in my book and everyone else I know’s book, he is a stupid ass-

You have reached the end of this Kindle book sample.

Buy with 1-Click

Haha, Just kidding. Anyways, that is what this book is about, nitpicking on all of the things that everyone loves, and bringing them to the somewhat forefront. Also potentially nitpicking myself as well.

Strap on your frickin’ helmets.

Chapter 3

WTF is that noise!!?!?

This will be an announcement of the century, we are talking worldwide exclusive here and now (and mind blowing will occur):

I f*cking DESPISE the show Glee.

Seriously, I F*cking hate it. Now before you go on a tangent saying that Glee is a source of diversity and other bullsh*t like that, I am not talking about that, I am talking about what they call “good covers” of music, A.K.A. All of the autotuning sh*t and “making it sound good” and it gives me a f*cking headache. The only GOOD outcome is that the original artists get a pay raise for 5 minutes on iTunes.

Anyways, at the time that I am writing this chapter, it is election day, the day where the entire world goes to f*cking sh*t. Seriously, who wants Donald Trump OR Hillary Clinton as president, hopefully third party wins this one. This is also the day that everyone desides that an asshole or a nutjob becomes president. I would vote for CMFT. He would be a good president. He would (and I quote) “In my first 100 days, As de facto President of the United States, I would:

Legalize it

Make bullets more expensive than gold

Make voting contingent on an 8th Grade education or higher

Destroy all cell phones

Drop the mic and quit.” Amazing in my opinion. #VoteCMFT2016. James Hetfield would work as well, #HetfieldForPresident2016.

Now, let’s talk about reality shows, here is a reality show type that is popular now, House buying, WHY THE HELL WOULD HOUSE BUYING BE A POPULAR SHOW!?!?!? HEY I HAVE AN IDEA, MAYBE THE SHOW SHOULD BE PUTTING A POTATO IN A TOASTER AND STICK IT INSIDE UNDERGROUND ELECTRICAL LINES (call 811 first though)!!!!! THAT WILL BE SO POPULAR. Anyways, reality shows are overrated and they should not exist EVER. Reality shows are an explanation the Television is running out of ideas of shows and the Networks are greedy AF. Time to talk about autobiographies written by someone who is 14 years old. Yes, at the time of writing this I am 14 years old, but I WILL NOT WRITE ABOUT MYSELF UNTIL I AM PROBLABLY 40 YEARS OLD. Sorry. Anyways, what is the point anyways of writing something like that, it would be 3 pages long.

Now, POP MUSIC, THE most autotuned crap you will ever listen to EVER. It is so processed, so corrected, so impure, you might as well be listening to a slab of wood. In my opinion, IT IS INSULTING to all of the people who have more talent and put hard work into their music.

Also, if the pop artist also gets injured, they cancel the tour, In rock however, they push off a few dates, start the tour and end the tour at the places that they pushed off. Corey Taylor had to have neck surgery, HE STILL DID THE TOUR WITH A BROKEN NECK! Talk about stamina.

Now it is 11/16/16, Here is an update. Donnie won the election, and people in Washington are wanting to secede from the union, sounds like another day in the office to me. I made a political post on Facebook about this, none of the pro-trump friends of mine disagreed, now actually some of them regret voting for him. It’s a post on www.facebook.com/mehcorporation. Yes, that is my Facebook profile link, go ahead and try it. I will wait here for you. Alright, are you back now? Ok, we will continue on with the rest of the book.

Now, with the elephant in the room, the next goddamn chapter.

Chapter 4

The new amendments to the U.S. Constitution

Amendment 1: The punishment will match the crime. The first time you break the laws, your car will be compressed into a keychain and you won’t be able to have a car in your name again. The second time, when you are behind the wheel of a car, Stolen or Borrowed, WE TAKE YOUR RIGHT LEG! After that we will take the other limbs. Welcome to America

Amendment 2: Biometric Breathlyzers, says it in the name.

Amendment 3: You need to prove that you can handle a high-performance car before buying one. Retake if upgrades happen.

Amendment 4: There will be height and width restrictions on trucks. If you need a ladder to get to the seat, it’s too tall. If you need to take a breath while walking around your truck, it’s too wide.

Digging the new laws so far?

Amendment 5: The driving age restriction is now 13. However you need to be able to touch the pedals and see over the gauge cluster to drive along with the driving test, written and the actual test.

Amendment 6: Every 2 years, you will take the driving test again, not the written one, but the one where you actually drive the car. This is so people can remember the laws better.

Amendment 7: No collapsed suns for headlights.

Amendment 8: There should be signs on the top of all cars with the name and picture of the driver, so we can cuss at them if anything goes wrong. For example, “WHAT THE F*CK BRANDON, YOU SHOULD GET THOSE EYES CHECKED BECAUSE YOU ALMOST CRASHED IN TO THE BLOODY VIADUCT.” There you go.

Those are the driving laws. DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON Plane REGULATIONS.

Amendment 1: In multi-terminal airports, the checkpoints will be at the terminal, not before the transportation to the terminal. Like how Tampa International Airport does it.

Amendment 2: All bags will be checked if any anomalies appear in the scan. This is already a thing but not all airports do it.

Amendment 3: All planes will have free WIFI.

Amendment 4: All planes will have more than 2 bathrooms.

Amendment 5: All planes will have a galley that isn’t 2 square feet.

Amendment 6: First class cost the same as coach for loyalty members on flights over 2 hours long. The members will also have to have been a member of the program for more than 6 months.

Amendment 7: Planes will be equipped with sound dampening in the bathro- “HEY YOU THERE, STOP JERKING OFF TO PORN!!”

Amendment 8: Clean up after self in the bathroom. Especially what happened in rule 7.

Amendment 9: WE WANT MOAR FREE HEADPONES.

Amendment 10: We should be allowed to use cellular data on the plane within 30 minutes of taking off and landing.

Amendment 11: Netflix should be allowed on the inflight wifi dammit, WE PAY FOR BOTH OF IT.

Amendment 12: We should be allowed have out laptops at all times on flights.

Amendment 13: More legroom is MANDATORY

Amendment 14: Why are there not free movies.

Amendment 15: F*CK THE FARE FEES.

Amendment 16: Let us check in 48 hours before the flight instead of 24 hours.

I am way over my head on this one, SO LETS DO MORE!

Here are some other Regulations:

Amendment 1: We move leap year so that we have 24 more hours on 12/25.

Amendment 2: The government should give $100 to New HIGH SCHOOL Students, to be used at any time for anything.

Amendment 3: Porn should be Illegal in some states.

Amendment 4: F*CK THE INCOME TAX

Amendment 5: The IRS Should be blown up with nuclear weapons.

Amendment 6: The FBI should not be looking in peoples phones, (if ya know what I mean, #LADIES, sorry, I had to)

Oh crap, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is GABRIEL MCMILLAN and here are some things you don’t know about me.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Space

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p<>{color:#000;}. Egypt

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p<>{color:#000;}. NO

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p<>{color:#000;}. WHY

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p<>{color:#000;}. HOW

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p<>{color:#000;}. F*CK RON

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p<>{color:#000;}. Put your nude body on it.

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p<>{color:#000;}. Don’t walk on it.

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p<>{color:#000;}. WHAT?

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p<>{color:#000;}. NO

There you go. There are some things you don’t know about me. At this moment, this book has 1707 words.

END OF DAY OF WRITING

Start of writing day

Captains log: Stardate 2016.333. NEXT CHAPTER.

Chapter 951.110101010101010

My Six Flags Trip.

So during thanksgiving weekend, I went to Six Flags Over Texas. Here is a small summary. I didn’t go on the first ride, as it broke down really quickly. The second ride I went on was CATWOMAN Whip, I gave an eh out of HOLY SH*T. The second ride we went on was Shockwave, I give it a Vomit Worthy/HOLY SH*T. Then the last and final ride we went on was Titan, I give it an HOLY SH*T/HOLY SH*T. IT IS SO HEARTPOUNDING!!! It has a 255ft drop! It use 1 whole mile of track and its top speed is 85 Miles Per Hour.

End of Day

Chapter I F*CKING GIVE UP

The entire world is covered with storms.

It’s the post Black Friday plague, everyone is goddamn sick, EXCEPT ME!! I just got over it while everyone else has died, came back, and died again 5 times from this sickness taking America by storm (no pun intended). The current date is Tuesday December 6th, 2016, and I am sick of school. We still have a few weeks until break, but I still want to go home and play video games for 2 weeks. Anyways, this might be my last log until the new year, so I will fill you in on what we plan to do for Christmas. I plan to get a metric buttload of gift cards from tigerdirect.com, sorry NCIX. I plan to build my first pc with this metric buttload of cards. …Aaaannnndddd, that is all for my Christmas list.

Log entry, 12/12/16, Yep, it snowed, it is apparently supposed to snow later today. This Friday will be winter break. During break I am going to be making videos for my YouTube channel. That is it, more info to come.

So, if any of yall watch my videos, or came from one of the videos, welcome! If you watch my videos, you know I am experimental when it comes to my videos. After school today, I will be making a video about the direction my channel is going in. I will be also advertising this book and its expected release week or date. I think I will keep this book below 11 pages, due to the time it took to make this goddamn thing. So, This marks the end of the book. There may or may not be a part 2.

This is EASSNOHOMISHWA9881 signing off, Have a good one.

#99centbook


common sense (nobody has it anymore)

This is a very short description. You see, this book is about ME not liking society. If you don't want to read a book about me bitching and moaning about society, go somewhere else.

  • Author: Gabriel S McMillan
  • Published: 2016-12-14 19:50:10
  • Words: 2118
common sense (nobody has it anymore) common sense (nobody has it anymore)