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Canadian Lightning Strike

Canadian Lightning Strike
by Kennie Kayoz
Copyright 2017 Coyotes Publishing
Shakespir Edition

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Wish My Life Was Better

Seems like a constant wish.
For my life to get better.
Things keep circling the drain.
Falling in one by one.

Plans I make never amount to anything.
Jobs I apply for ended up with rejection letters.
I’m in my mid 30s how am I suppose to live
My future is looking bleak.
The credit cards looking maxed.

Can’t afford to eat if it wasn’t for credit.
Fiancee barely has enough to pay her bills.
If her bills don’t get paid, we don’t have a car.
No car then she looses her job and we’ve taken three steps back.

Living in the middle of no where.
We need so much to get by.
No public transit, it doesn’t come out this way.
It takes us half an hour to get into town.
We literally are in the middle of no where.

I have no idea where my life is going to go.

Kennie

Stop The Voices

How is it possible to stop the voices.
Arguing inside my head is all they do.
Sounds like a shouting match that I can’t get away from.

No matter what I do, it feels like it’s wrong.
No matter which I listen to, doesn’t seem right.
I can’t keep my thoughts organized.
On an average day I’m lucky if I can figure out my own thoughts.

My brain feels like an egg hit with a frying pan.
Constantly dripping but no idea where it’s landing.
Maybe one day I can figure out how to keep things in check.

Kennie

Written In My Scars

My past is written in my scars.
Hidden from the naked eyes
But visible to those who know where to look.

One of the most noticible ones is my speech impediment.
Thought bout trying to fix it.
But too shy to do so.

My past is written in my scars.
Hidden from the naked eyes
But visible to those who know where to look.

I know my past has turned me into whom you see.
It’ll affect me for the rest of my life.

My past is written in my scars.
Hidden from the naked eyes
But visible to those who know where to look.

Kennie

Dying On The Inside

Look at me, I know you wouldn’t.
Each day I feel like I’m dying on the inside.
I feel like my life is getting worse with each passing day.
I have trouble sleeping at night.
I sleep for an hour then up for three to four.

I don’t even feel tired when I head back to bed.
But I do so in hopes of getting sleep.
If I didn’t I would be awake all night.
When I don’t get much sleep I know I’m not the greatest.

I don’t want to deal with shit and just want to be left alone.
Since I don’t live alone, I don’t have that choice.
I wish I had that choice.

Kennie

Standing Still

I constantly watch peoples lives pass me like I’m standing still.
They keep doing things.
I keep standing still.

I know I’m missing out on life.
But I can’t help it.
Constant rejection in life.
Makes me not want to do much.

It’s easier to hide then take part in life.
I’m a nobody and always will be.
Won’t amount to anything.

Will always be used as a comparison.
“Atleast your not Kennie”

Kennie

Sick

I hate being sick
My mind never works properly.
It never wants to get the rest it needs.

I feel like I’m conjested from neck up.
My thoughts are clouded
My words are foggy.
I’m not even sure these are the words.
I care to say right now.

I feel like I can’t breathe
I want to shove a drill up my nose
To help clear things out.
To hopefully be able to breathe.
My stomach feels like a tsunami

Are things just starting or ending ?

Kennie

Charlie Brown’d

Cold appears to be getting worse
At times people sound like Charlie Brown teachers.
I can’t make sense of what they’re talking about.

I feel like I need a translator
Google isn’t helping.
My mind feels like it’s trapped in a box.
Nose is running like a tap.

I can’t keep up with anything that’s going on.
Questions keep getting asked.
I don’t know how to answer them.
I feel lost.
I feel stuck.

I wish this cold would leave me alone.
I want to figure out what’s going on.

Kennie

Like I’m Not Even Here…

Another day of fighting this cold.
My brain is trying to think.
But it’s not reaching the rest of my body.

I feel like I’m not even here.
Can’t make a decision
Don’t understand simple tasks.

My brain is mush trying to produce thought.
Trying to produce an electro current
To show signs of life.

I feel like I’m not even here.
Can’t make a decision
Don’t understand simple tasks.

Kennie

A Shell Of Myself

Fighting this cold is like fighting myself.
I feel like I’m trapped inside.
What you see isn’t normally me.
My humour maybe more morbid.

My words even more confused than normal.
The words I speak are mixed with coughing.
Sneezing and me repeating myself.
Sneezing and me repeating myself.
Repeating myself

Thoughts in my head, make no sense.
But yet I still write them anyways.
Maybe someone can make sense.
Since nothing in my life makes cents.

Kennie


Canadian Lightning Strike

  • ISBN: 9781370682324
  • Author: Coyotes Publishing
  • Published: 2017-06-03 18:05:09
  • Words: 821
Canadian Lightning Strike Canadian Lightning Strike