(CHOICE AND CHANGE)
By Andre’ Mwansa
Copyright 2017 Andre’ Mwansa
Shakespir LICENCE NOTES
This eBook is a work of fiction, any resemblance to actual people living, dead or in between is pure coincidence.
‘’Look deep into nature and you will understand life’’
‘’Happiness is when you realize, you’re living in tomorrow’s good old days, happiness is when you realize today could be that future you wished for, happiness is finding a reason to smile every day, happiness is accepting life (yourself), and using your strength to change what you can, happiness is a choice’’ All that I learned when ……
This is my story.
It was a bright sunny day, early in the month of April. Me and my wife were planning on how and where we will celebrate our three years of marriage anniversary. I allowed her to choose, and it wasn’t a surprise when she said that we should have it on planet Mars, that’s Tatiana for you, I knew she was joking.
‘’I don’t think the aliens will be pleased to have us there honey’’ I joked back.
‘’Then where do you want us to go, somewhere safe and quiet, no kids and everything, just the two of us?’’ She asked.
‘’I don’t know, you tell me, you choose this time’’
‘’How does Vegas sound?’’
‘’I’m in no mood to be looking at other women’s tits and ass, I just want to be looking at yours’’ I jested.
‘’Who said we’ll go round the beach?’’
‘’Is it not obvious?’’ I said ‘’we could go at my old grandfathers house, no one visits it anymore, its quiet there’’
‘’Honey, last time I checked your old grandfathers bed was broken’’
‘’You broke it’’
‘’No, we broke it’’ she said ‘’besides I don’t like your old grandfathers place’’
‘’You always have an emotional breakdown when we’re at your grandfathers place, always with the same nostalgic excuse of its memories of him’’
‘’He was a hero’’ I reminded her.
‘’Yeah,’’ she said ‘’had 105 children through donating his sperm to those in need, I mean where are they now , your brothers and sisters, did they even attend his funeral?’’
‘’Babe, real love demands nothing in return’’
‘’Tell me,’’ she said sarcastically ‘’would you still love me if you came to know that I don’t love you?’’
‘’What, you don’t?’’
‘’It’s a metaphor’’
‘’it’s different’’ I said.
‘’It’s like Jesus said ‘the rain pours on both the righteous and sinners’ a favor is not always fair’’
‘’Ugh, there you go with your preaching again’’ she said.
‘’Have you figured where you want us to go now?’’ I said, changing the subject.
‘’Hawaii, yes Hawaii, I hear they have manicure good service there’’
‘’Let me get this straight, you want to travel all the way to Hawaii, just to get your nails done?’’
‘’You know,’’ she said smiling ‘’anniversary, sightseeing, west Maui and Molokai Exclusive 45-minute helicopter tour, all that staff……. Manicure’’
‘’Sometimes I just never understand you’’ I said.
‘’Its girls staff, mom understands me’’
I did surely have a funny, good wife, a blessing, my happiness to say. But life has a way of always trying to take away that happiness from you. Three years of marriage with no one to call me dad, or her mom, it really sucked, but we did try to understand and live through it.
Sometimes I did wonder whether my grandpa would have gone so far in being a hero, and offered himself in helping my wife. Which I really did at sometimes found disgusting, because that would mean the child will still be his and not mine, but come to think of it, the child will still have some of my genes in she/he/it. Which would have left people with no doubt of the child been mine.
But that didn’t stop us from trying (the barren), I mean miracles do happen, so that night we made love.
I woke up when I felt something crawling up my feet, only to find our neighbors five year old child called Nancy, shaking me to wake up. We loved having her at our place for a sleepover, she was like a daughter we never had, but prayed for.
‘’Morning Uncle Joe?’’ she said.
‘’Morning young little girl’’
‘’I’ve a question’’ she said.
‘’Is sex just for making babies?’’ she surprised me, that my jaw almost dropped.
I kept quiet, I didn’t know what to say.
‘’Uncle Joe, is sex just for making babies?’’ she asked again.
‘’Uh….um,’’ I said figuring it was nothing more but Childs curiosity ‘’well babies are made through an act I’ll assume you already know about, but sometimes people do staff that involves baby making parts but does not actually involve making babies, like for instance kiss each other in places that are not on the face’’
‘’How did you even come to know about sex?’’ It was my turn to ask.
‘’I overheard mom and dad talking about it’’
I should seriously talk to my neighbors, to be careful on subjects they chose to discuss in front of kids. My God, that could just be one of the reasons young teens are getting pregnant, they over hear it from the parents, and then try to experiment the whole thing.
‘’Promise me, you will never do it till you’re married’’ I said to her.
I bet she didn’t even know what it was…..
‘’First promise me that you will buy for me a full bucket of ice cream if I agree to your promise’’
‘’What? Your mom won’t let me’’
‘’Promise?’’ she said.
She’s just five and this smart. ‘’Promise’’
After breakfast me and her visited the store for that bucket of ice cream, then later took her to her parents place.
I found them sitting on the couch watching the news, about this guy who was beaten in front of a bank entrance when the security man mistakenly thought his boner was a pistol.
‘’What’s a boner?’’ Nancy asked.
‘’Oh, that’s a man’s ere….’’ Nancy’s mom started and I just had to cut her in.
‘’Better be careful on subjects you choose to talk about in front of kids’’ I said.
‘’What’s the difference, she will eventually come to know the truth’’ she objected.
‘’At the right time, and I don’t think now is’’ I said facing the two.
Nancy’s dad nodded saying nothing. So I just excused myself to leave, but before I did I told them both that me and my wife will be off to Hawaii by tomorrow morning for our anniversary.
‘’Aww……do have a great time’’ Nancy’s mom said.
With that said I left the place.
They say that everything happens for a reason that everything that happens to you happens for you but I didn’t quite get this one.
We had a car accident on the way to Hawaii, I just remember waking up in an ICU with mom, dad and my Tatiana’s parents crying. I asked them why they were crying and where my wife was when they told me that she was now late.
I couldn’t quite get the whole truth nor accept the fact of her death, not even after seeing her dead body myself. After the burial, I did nothing but drink.
This kept on going for weeks, then months (the drinking), I felt like a part of me was taken away from me, that I’ll never be whole without her. So I kept on drinking because that’s the only way I could get the whole thing out of my head.
I hated life, hated the universe, and hated God himself. I lost my friends, lost Nancy’s company for her parents wouldn’t let her visit, or me visit her. I mean who would want their child to be hanging around with a big wino?
My family did visit me regularly, but I never really appreciated their company. All I wanted was my Tatiana.
This habit of heavy drinking went on, that I one day ended up in a hospital.
‘’Aww honey, what are you doing to yourself?’’ mom said when she visited me in the hospital.
‘’I feel depressed mom, I just want to die, it’s all my fault that she died, I was the one driving that night’’
‘’What are you saying,…. It was never your fault that she died, it was that wino who never saw the red lights’’
‘’The doctor checked up on me’’
‘’What did he say’’ she said worried.
‘’Oh, good news actually. That if I keep on drinking, I’ll soon join my wife’’
‘’Don’t say that, you still have a lot of reasons to live, you have me, your dad, your sisters, the world’’
‘’Tatiana was my world’’
She sat down on the edge of the bed. ‘’When I lost my father, I was depressed just like you. I thought I didn’t have any more reason to keep on living, he was the only family I had by that time.
She continued ‘’But with time I came to know that, ‘just like we don’t choose the country we are born in, or the color of our skin, or our parents and genes, this also I had to accept’ . LIFE IS EITHER- OR, you either lose or gain. My father dying was a loss and meeting your father was a gain. Everything is the way it was supposed to be, I mean the world can’t afford a bunch of lawyers, lawyers needs criminals to bring to justice.
‘’And so I chose to move on, I chose to live my life and live it happily, because happiness is a choice honey, I didn’t have to wait on life to represent those happy circumstances, every morning I would wake up, thank the lord for the day, and get myself for what the day will bring. But whatever the case I chose to be happy. Without pain, you can’t know joy honey’’
‘’Have I been that much selfish, that I fail to realize how much you love me’’ I said, with tears rolling down my cheek.
‘’It’s okay, son…I understand’’
‘’I’m so sorry mom,’’ I said ‘’he was a hero, your dad I mean’’
She only smiled and nodded.
And from their own I came to understand and embrace life. You can’t always choose what happens in your life, but you do have the choice on how you respond to whatever life throws at you. And from mom’s wisdom of experience I also choose happiness and joy, I choose to be a star that shines in the dark (hardship). And I believe with love (happiness) and understanding the world would be a better place, hope you’ll also choose that happiness and make the world a welcoming (children) and better place.
Oh, and just so you know, I did re-marry and now have three kids (perhaps everything that happens to you happens for you, although it does suck sometimes).
Thank you for reading my book, please care to leave a review…