Introduction to The ‘Gnani Purush’
Who is Dada Bhagwan ?
Current link for attaining the knowledge of Self-Realization (Atmagnan)
Note About This Translation
p((<>. DIGEST THIS PHRASE
DO NOT INTERFERE, JUST ADJUST
ADJUSTMENT WITH DISAGREEABLE PEOPLE
ADJUSTMENT WITH THE WIFE
EAT KHICHARI OR EAT PIZZA
ADJUSTMENT DURING MEALTIMES
IF YOU DISLIKE IT, ACCEPT IT ANYWAY
TO IMPROVE HER OR TO ADJUST TO HER
WIFE IS A COUNTERWEIGHT
ALL CONFLICTS ULTIMATELY COME TO AN END
ADJUSTMENT THROUGH PRAYER
ADJUST WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
“DO NOT SEE THE LAWS, JUST SETTLE”
DO NOT ACCUSE, ADJUST
REMEDY FOR SAYING SOMETHING WRONG
A HOME IS A GARDEN
DIFFERENT COLORS AND FRAGRANCES OF FLOWERS IN A GARDEN
THE MAGIC OF COUNTER-PULLEY
LEARN HOW TO INSTALL A FUSE
SHORT LIFE, LONG TROUBLES
ADOPT THE GNANI’S TECHNIQUE
IGNORANCE : THE ROOT CAUSE OF CONFLICT
DADA ADJUSTS EVERYWHERE
OTHERWISE THE PROBLEMS WILL CREATE OBSTACLES FOR YOU
THE ONE WITH THE RIGHT BELIEF, ADJUSTS
DADA’S WONDERFUL SCIENCE
PRAYER TO PURESELF
- Dada Bhagwan
Editor : Dr. Niruben Amin
The Three Mantras that Destroy All Obstacles in Life
I bow to the One who is absolutely free from all attachment and abhorrence
I bow to the living One who has annihilated all internal enemies of anger, pride, deceit and greed
I bow to the Ones who have attained the state of total and final liberation
I bow to the Self-realized masters who impart knowledge of liberation to others
I bow to those who have received the Knowledge of the Self and are helping others attain the same
Namo Loye Savva Sahunam
I bow to all saints everywhere who have received the Knowledge of the Self
Eso Pancha Namukkaro
These five salutations
Destroy all demerit karma
Mangalanam cha Savvesim
Of all that is auspicious
Padhamam Havai Mangalam
This is the highest
Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya
I bow to all who have attained the absolute Self in human form
Om Namah Shivaya
I bow to all human beings who have become instruments for salvation of the world
Jai Sat Chit Anand
Awareness of the Eternal is Bliss
On a June evening in 1958 at around six o’clock, Ambalal Muljibhai Patel, a family man, a contractor by profession, was sitting on a bench on the busy platform number 3 of Surat’s train station. Surat is a city in south Gujarat, a western state in India. What happened within the next forty-eight minutes was phenomenal. Spontaneous Self-realization occurred within Ambalal M. Patel. During this event his ego completely melted and from that moment onwards he became completely detached from all Ambalal’s thoughts, speech and acts. He became the Lord’s living instrument for the salvation of mankind, through the path of knowledge. He called this Lord, Dada Bhagwan. To everyone he met, he would say, “This Lord, Dada Bhagwan is fully manifest within me. He also resides within all living beings. The difference is that within me He is completely expressed and in you, he is yet to manifest.”
Who are we? What is God? Who runs this world? What is karma? What is liberation? Etc. All the world’s spiritual questions were answered during this event. Thus nature offered absolute vision to the world through the medium of Shree Ambalal Muljibhai Patel.
Ambalal was born in Tarsali, a suburb of the city of Baroda and raised in Bhadran, Gujarat. His wife’s name was Hiraba. Although he was a contractor by profession, his life at home and his interaction with everyone around him was exemplary even prior to his Self-realization. After becoming Self-realized and attaining the state of a Gnani, (The Awakened One), his body became a ‘public charitable trust.’
Throughout his whole life he lived by the principle that there should not be any commerce in religion, and in all commerce there must be religion. He also never took money from anyone for his own use. He used the profits from his business to take his devotees for pilgrimages to various parts of India.
His words became the foundation for the new, direct and step-less path to Self-realization called Akram Vignan. Through his divine original scientific experiment (The Gnan Vidhi), he imparted this knowledge to others within two hours. Thousands have received his grace through this process and thousands continue to do so even now. ‘Akram’ means without steps; an elevator path or a short cut, whereas ‘Kram’ means an orderly step-by-step spiritual path. Akram is now recognized as a direct shortcut to the bliss of the Self.
When he explained to others who ‘Dada Bhagwan’ is, he would say:
“What you see here is not ‘Dada Bhagwan.’ What you see is ‘A.M.Patel.’ I am a Gnani Purush and He that is manifest within me, is ‘Dada Bhagwan’. He is the Lord within. He is within you and everyone else. He has not yet manifest within you, whereas within me he is fully manifest. I myself am not a Bhagwan. I too bow down to Dada Bhagwan within me.”
“I am personally going to impart siddhis (special spiritual powers) to a few people. After I leave, will there not be a need for them? People of future generations will need this path, won’t they?”
Param Pujya Dadashri used to go from town to town and country-to-country to give satsang and impart the knowledge of the Self as well as knowledge of harmonious worldly interaction to all who came to see him. In his final days in late 1987, he graced Dr. Niruben Amin with the siddhis to continue his Work.
After Param Pujya Dadashri left his mortal body on January 2, 1988, Dr. Niruben continued his Work, traveling within India to cities and villages; and going abroad visiting all continents of the world. She was Dadashri’s representative of Akram Vignan, until March 19, 2006, when she left her mortal body entrusting all further care of the Work to Shri Deepakbhai Desai. She was instrumental in expanding the key role of Akram Vignan as the simple and direct path to Self-realization for modern times. Hundreds of thousands of spiritual seekers had taken advantage of this opportunity and are established in the experience of pure Soul while carrying out their worldly duties. They experience freedom, here and now while living their daily life.
Shri Deepakbhai Desai had been given the siddhi to conduct satsang of Akram Vignan by Gnani Purush Dadashri in presence of Pujya Niruben Amin. Between 1988 and 2006, he has given satsang nationally and internationally as directed by Dadashri under the guidance of Dr. Niruben Amin. Now these satsangs and Gnan Vidhis of Akram Vignan continue in full force through the medium of Atmagnani Shri Deepakbhai Desai.
Powerful words in scriptures help the seeker in increasing their desire for liberation and thus they represent the path. The knowledge of the Self is the final goal of all seekers. Without the knowledge of the Self there is no liberation. This knowledge does not exist in books. It exists in the heart of a Gnani. Hence, the knowledge of the Self can only be acquired by meeting a Gnani. Through the scientific approach of the Akram Vignan, even today one can attain Atmagnan, by meeting a living Atmagnani. Only a lit candle can light another candle!
Gnani Purush Ambalal M. Patel, popularly known as Dadashri or Dada or Dadaji, used to say that it is not possible to exactly translate his satsang on the Science of Self-Realization and the art of worldly interaction, into English. Some of the depth and intent of meaning to be conveyed to the seeker, would be lost. He stressed the importance of learning Gujarati to precisely understand all his teachings.
Dadashri did however grant his blessings to convey his original words to the world through translations in English and other languages. It was his deepest desire and fervor that the suffering human beings of the world attain the living freedom of the wonderful Akram Vignan that expressed within him. He further stated that a day would come when the world would be in awe of the phenomenal powers of this science.
This is an humble attempt to present to the world the essence of the teachings of Dadashri, the Gnani Purush A lot of care has been taken to preserve the tone and message of his words. This is not a literal translation of his words. Many individuals have worked diligently for this product and we remain deeply thankful to them all.
This is an elementary introduction to the vast new treasure of his teachings. Please note that any errors committed in the translation are entirely those of the translators and for those we request your pardon.
Conflicts will occur repeatedly in our life until we learn to adjust with others and this adjustment can be achieved through right understanding. Ultimately everyone has to adjust willingly or forcefully. With the right understanding, we can prevent conflicts and find peace and happiness. Life is nothing but a series of adjustments. From birth to death, you have to make adjustments. Whether you enjoy studying or not, you have to adjust and study. Likewise, in married life, initially there is happiness, but later the husband or the wife has to make adjustments due to conflicts. These conflicts occur because of differences in their personalities. How many people in this age are fortunate enough to be able to adjust with others throughout their lives? Even between Rama and Sita, were there not many adjustments? Imagine the kind of adjustments Sita must have made when she was sent away to the forest, even when she was expecting a baby.
With parents and children there are adjustments every step of the way. If we adjust with understanding, there will be peace and we will not bind any karma. If we do not adjust to people around us, we will invite problems. This strategy of ‘Adjust everywhere’ is Dadashri’s master key, which opens all doors in life. If we use Gnani Purush Dadashri’s golden maxim ‘Adjust Everywhere’ and apply it in our life, then our everyday life will become beautiful.
Dr. Niruben Amin
Questioner : I want peace in my life.
Dadashri : Will you accept just one phrase in your life? Will you take note of it properly and exactly?
Questioner : Yes.
Dadashri : Incorporate the phrase ‘Adjust Everywhere’ in your life and peace will take hold. Initially, for the first six months or so, you will experience difficulties due to reactions from your past life. Subsequently peace will be yours. Therefore, adjust everywhere. In this frightful time of Kaliyug (the present time cycle of moral decline), if you fail to adjust, you will be doomed.
If you do not learn anything else in this worldly life it does not matter, but learning to adjust, is a necessity. You will sail through all difficulties in life if you adjust to anyone who fails to adjust with you. A person who knows how to adjust with others does not suffer. Adjust everywhere. Adjustment with each and every person is the highest religion. There are different prakrutis, (different personalities, characteristics, tendencies etc.) in our time, so how can you get along without adjusting ?
Life is changing constantly. Therefore, one has to adjust to these changes. The elders cling to their old-fashioned ways. They need to adjust with the times or else they will die suffering. You must make adjustments according to the times you live in. I adjust with everyone, even a thief or a pickpocket. A thief will sense that I am compassionate in the way I speak to him. I do not tell him that he is wrong. He is simply acting according to his viewpoint. People, in general are likely to hurl abuse at the thief and label him as a worthless being. What about lawyers, are they not liars also? They claim and win even fraudulent cases. Are they not charlatans when they do this? They label the thieves as frauds. The lawyers claim their own fraud to be the truth. How can you trust such people? Despite this, they manage to survive don’t they? I never tell anyone that they are wrong. They are correct by their viewpoint. I would explain the facts and inform them about the consequences of their misdeeds.
When old people enter the house of a youngster they typically start making all sorts of comments and criticize things like their stereos, etc. They are very meddlesome and interfering. Why not try to be friendly with the younger generation? Times have changed so how do they expect the younger generation to live without these amenities? When they see something new, they desire it. If there is nothing new, then what will they live for? New things such as these come and go. You do not have to interfere with them. If it does not suit you then you do not have to use it. This ice cream does not tell you to run away from it. Do not eat it if you do not want it. The older folks have contempt towards ice-cream. All these differences in opinion are a result of the changing times. These youngsters act according to the times. Moha is the insatiable desire, which arises for new and original things as they come into existence. From my early childhood, I enquired deeply whether this world was going in the right or the wrong direction. I found that no one has the power to change this world, and therefore, one must adjust according to the times. If your son comes home wearing a new hat, don’t ask him in an irritated tone, “Where did you get that?” Instead, just adjust and ask kindly, “Son where did you get your hat? Was it very expensive?” This is how you should adjust.
Our religion declares that you must see convenience in inconvenience. For example, one night I realized that the bed sheets were dirty. I then made an adjustment in my mind that they were very soft, and as a result, they began to feel very comfortable to me. It is the knowledge that we acquire through the fives senses that makes us perceive inconvenience.
Do we complain when a sewer smells? In the same manner people who are disagreeable and negative are like the sewers. Whatever smells unpleasant, we call a sewer and whatever smells pleasant we call a flower. Adjust to both. Both situations are telling you, ‘Become Vitraag (beyond attachment and abhorrence or detached) with us.”
You suffer because of your opinions of good and bad. You must keep them in check. When we say something is good, other things by comparison become bad and begin to bother us. If we rise above opinions, good or bad, there is no suffering. ‘Adjust Everywhere,’ is my suggestion. Whatever people say, whether it is true or not, we should adjust. If someone tells me I have no sense, I would adjust immediately by saying, “You are right. I was always a little slow. You just realized it today, whereas I have known about it from my childhood.” If you respond like this, you will avoid conflict. They will never bother you again. If you do not adjust, when will you reach ‘your home’ (Moksha, liberation from the cycle of birth and death)?
Questioner : How can I adjust with my wife? I have arguments with her. Please explain to me.
Dadashri : Your wife gets upset with you because you are detained at work and come home late. She expresses her disapproval by complaining, “You are late. I will not put up with this anymore.” When she loses her temper, you should say, “Yes dear, you are quite right. If you tell me to go back I will. If you tell me to sit inside, I will sit inside.” She will respond, “No, don’t go back. Just rest here quietly.” Then you tell her, “If you tell me to, I will eat supper or else I will go to sleep,” to which she will reply, “No, have your supper.” This is adjustment. In the morning you will get a hot cup of tea. If you get angry, when she is angry then in the morning your breakfast will be served to you in anger. She will bang your teacup on the table. Her sulking will continue for the next three days.
Dadashri : What should a person do if he does not know how to adjust? Should he fight with his wife?
Questioner : Yes.
Dadashri : Is that so? What do you get from quarrelling with your wife? She already shares your wealth.
Questioner : The husband wants to eat gulabjamoons (sweet dish), but the wife makes khichari (rice with lentils) instead. So they quarrel.
Dadashri : Do you think he will get his gulabjamoons after they fight? He will have no choice but to eat the khichari.
Questioner : So he orders a pizza instead.
Dadashri : Is that so? So he loses out. He doesn’t get to the eat sweets after all. Instead he has to make do with pizza. All he needed to do was tell her to cook whatever was convenient for her; she in turn would say she would make whatever he felt like eating. Then he could tell her to make gulabjamoons. But if he had insisted on eating gulabjamoons, she would have argued with him and made khichiri instead.
Questioner : What suggestions do you have to stop these differences of opinion?
Dadashri : I am showing you the path of ‘Adjust everywhere’. If she tells you she has made kichiri, then you must adjust to it. And in other situations if you tell her that you want to go to satsang, then she must adjust to you. Whoever makes the suggestion first, the other person should adjust accordingly.
Questioner : So then Dada, they will fight about who is going to be the first to speak?
Dadashri : Yes, go ahead and fight. But, adjust with the other person, because things are not in your control. I know who has control over everything. So do you have any problems with adjusting here?
Questioner : No, not at all.
Dadashri : (To the wife) Do you have any problems with that?
Questioner : No.
Dadashri : So then, why don’t you settle the matter? Adjust everywhere. Do you see a problem there?
Questioner : None at all.
Dadashri : If he tells you first to make him a nice meal of onion fritters, laddus (sweet), and vegetables etc., you should adjust accordingly. And if you tell him you are tired and want to sleep early tonight, then he must adjust and sleep early, even if it means postponing a visit to see a friend. You will be able to deal with your friend at a later time but do not let a dispute start between the two of you. In order to maintain good relations with your friend, you will create problems at home. It should not be like that. So, if she speaks first, then you must adjust.
Questioner : But what should he do if he has an important meeting with someone at eight o’clock but she insists that they go to sleep?
Dadashri : Do not worry about such suppositions. The law of natures is, ‘Where there is a will, there is a way.’ If you start imagining situations, you will ruin everything. In fact was she not the one encouraging you to go to your meeting? Did she not walk all the way with you to your car? By imagining things you ruin everything. Someone has written, “Where there is a will, there is a way.” You will be able to work things out if you are willing. Do you understand? It will be more than enough if you just abide by my suggestion that you ‘Adjust everywhere’. Will you abide by it?
Questioner : Yes.
Dadashri : Well then give me a promise.
Questioner : Yes Dada, I promise.
Dadashri : Great! Great! This is called courage.
To live an ideal life is to adjust everywhere. Your time here is precious and it is to be used for your spiritual development. Do not create differences, instead just : ‘Adjust Everywhere!’ Adjust! Adjust! Adjust! If the kadhi (hot soup made from buttermilk) is too salty, just remember Dada and what he has said about adjusting. Eat a little of it. You can even ask for some pickle if you want, but do not quarrel. There should be no conflicts in your home. Adjustments will bring harmony during difficult situations in life.
Adjust with the very person who fails to adjust with you. If a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law cannot get along, the one who wants to escape from the vicious cycles of worldly life should adjust. Even between husband and wife, if one of them keeps tearing their relationship, the other must mend. This is the only way a relationship can be sustained with peace.
People will consider you crazy if you do not know how to adjust and get along. There is no need to insist on your truth in this world where every truth is relative. A real man is a man who can adjust everywhere; he can adjust even with a thief.
If you adjust to the other person in every situation, life will be beautiful. After all, what do we take with us when we die ? Someone may tell you to ‘straighten out your wife’, but if you try to do so, you will become crooked yourself. Do not try to improve your wife. Just accept her as she is. It would be a different matter if you had a permanent relationship with her life after life, but who knows where she will be in her next life. You will both die at different times. Your karma is different and so is hers. And if by chance you manage to improve her in this life, in her next life she will end up being someone else’s wife!
Therefore, do not try to improve her. She too, should not attempt to improve you. Whatever she is like, tell yourself, ‘she is as good as gold’. You cannot improve anyones prakriti (inherent characteristics and traits) no matter how hard you try.
A dog’s tail remains crooked, no matter how hard you try to straighten it. So be careful and let her be whatever she is. Adjust everywhere.
Questioner : I really try to adjust with my wife, but I am not able to do so.
Dadashri : Everything is according to previous karmic accounts. The nut is crooked and so is the bolt, so it you try to screw the nut in straight, it will not work. You may think to yourself, ‘Why are women like this?’ But really women are your counterweight. They are helpful to you. Her obstinacy is in proportion to your own fault and that is why I have said that everything is vyavasthit (the natural law that runs this world).
Questioner : It seems as if everyone has come to straighten me out.
Dadashri : You must be straightened out, otherwise how will your world function? You will not be a good father if you do not improve. Women are such that they will not change, so us men will have to change. Womens’ inherent nature prevents them from adjusting. They are not likely to change.
What is a wife?
Questioner : You tell us, Dada.
Dadashri : ‘A wife is the counterweight of her husband.’ If that counterweight were not there, then the husband would fall.
Questioner : I do not understand. Please explain.
Dadashri : Counterweights are installed in engines. The engine will break down without these counterweights. In the same way, women are the counterweight of men. Without a wife to stabilize him husband will fall. He will run around everywhere, without any purpose. He comes home because of the woman. If not, would he come home?
Questioner : No he would not.
Dadashri : She is his counterweight.
Questioner : We forget the morning’s conflict by the afternoon, but in the evening, something new ignites.
Dadashri : I know the force that drives these conflicts. I know what force is working when she is being argumentative. People get into conflicts and then they adjust, all this you can understand through Gnan. But the reason you must adjust is because every event in this world is terminal; it will eventually come to an end, but if it lasts a long time and you do not adjust to it, then you will be hurting yourself and her both.
Questioner : If I do my best to make the other person understand, then is it up to the other person to make the effort to understand?
Dadashri : Your responsibility is to explain things to him. If he still does not understand, there is no solution. Then, all you need to say is : “Dada Bhagwan! (Address the Lord within that person) Give him the light to understand.” You have to say at least this much. You cannot leave him in a limbo. This is critical. This is Dada’s science of adjustment. It is invaluable. Surely you must be experiencing the results of your inability to adjust? To not adjust is foolishness. Whenever one feels that he cannot relinquish his authority as a husband, he sets himself up for his own downfall. His life will be miserable. Let things run the way they are. When the wife says, “You are stupid,” you should reply, “You are right.”
Questioner : One-sided adjustments are not possible in this world. Is that right?
Dadashri : The very definition of an ideal worldly life is adjustment. Even the neighbors will notice and say, “There is conflict in every household except this one!” Your energies (to adjust) have to be cultivated especially with those you do not get along with. These energies are already present with people you get along with. Inability to adjust is a weakness. Why is it possible for me to get along with everyone? The more you adjust, the more your energies will increase and your weaknesses will diminish. Right understanding will prevail only when all the wrong understandings are destroyed.
Everyone gets along with easy-going and good-natured people, but when you learn to get along with difficult, stubborn, and harsh personalities, you have truly accomplished something. No matter how brazen and shameful a person is, if you know how to adjust without losing your mind, it is well worth it. Losing your temper is futile. Nothing in this world will ‘fit’ you (nothing will adapt to you), but if you ‘fit’ with every situation or people, then this world will be good. If you attempt to make others ‘fit’ with you, this world will become awkward. Adjust everywhere. As long as you ‘fit’ into everything, there will be no problems.
The Gnani will adjust even with the person who refuses to adjust. If you observe the Gnani Purush, you can learn to make all kinds of adjustments. The science behind the Gnan helps you become vitraag (freedom from attachment and abhorrence). Your suffering is the result of attachment or abhorrence that still lingers within you. You will be labeled a misfit if you become indifferent and apathetic in your worldly dealings. We must be able to convince even the most obstinate and disagreeable people. If we need a porter at a railway station, and he haggles with you about his charges, you will have to settle the deal with a few extra rupees. If you don’t, you will have to carry the luggage yourself.
“Don’t see laws, please settle.” There is no time to ask the other person to settle and adjust. Even if the other person makes hundreds of mistakes, consider them your own mistakes and move on. In these times, where is the place to seek justice? These are bad times. Chaos exists everywhere. People are puzzled. When the poor man comes home, his wife yells at him and his children pout. At work, his employer bosses him around. In the subways, the crowd pushes him around. There is no peace anywhere. Everyone needs peace. If someone erupts in a quarrel, you should be compassionate and think, “Goodness, he must feel so frustrated that he is quarreling.” Those who become frustrated are weak.
You must know how to adjust at home. If you go home late from satsang, what will the wife say? “You should keep an eye on the time.” Instead why not go home a little early?
Have you ever seen how a bullock is handled on the farm? When the bullock does not move, he is prodded with a long stick with a nail at the end, but if he keeps moving, he will not be hurt. What can the dumb beast do? Who can it complain to? If people were poked and prodded like this, others would come to their rescue. But to whom can the poor animal complain ?
Why does a husband suffer in this manner? It is because of his actions in his previous life. In his previous life, he had blamed and accused others. At that time, he was in a position of power, just like the man who prods the bull. Now, he is powerless, therefore he has to adjust without any complaints. In this life, do “plus-minus.” (This is Dadashri’s terminology to settle past accounts).
It is better not to complain about anyone at all. If you complain, you become the accuser and you will be accused. We do not want any part of this. If someone insults you, accept it. Credit it to your karmic account. How do you feel about this? Is it good to be an accuser? Why not adjust from the beginning?
Adjustment in daily life interactions is Gnan. Adjust. If your attempt to adjust fails, then try again. For example if you said something hurtful to a friend – really your speech is not under your control, but later on you become aware of your mistake. Now often you fail to go back and set things straight. When you realize your mistake, you should go to him and tell him, “Dear friend, please forgive me. What I said was wrong and hurtful”. When you do this, it is called adjusting. Do you have any objection to this approach?
Questioner : No, none whatsoever.
Questioner : Many times, we have to adjust with two people at the same time, concerning the same matter. How can we deal with the situation all at once?
Dadashri : You can deal with both of them. Even if you had to adjust to seven people, you could still do it. You should agree to work things out between both the parties. Nothing is going to happen outside of vyavasthit, do don’t create any conflicts. Adjustment is the key. With ‘yes’ there is liberation. Even if you say ‘yes’ (agree) to someone, nothing is going to happen outside the workings of vyavasthit. But if you say ‘no’ (disagree/conflict), then you will invite a lot of problems.
If a husband and wife both make a firm commitment to adjust with each other, they will find a solution. If one is insistent, the other has to adjust by giving in.
If you do not adjust you can become insane. It is because you have harassed others that you have to endure so much anxiety. If you provoke a dog once, twice, or even thrice, he will still heed you. But if you keep annoying him, he will bite you. Even the dog will think of you as a bad person. This is worth understanding. Do not provoke anyone. Adjust everywhere.
If you have learnt the art of adjustment, you have found the path to eternal bliss. Adjustment taken is Gnan. This will be your triumph. You will have to suffer whatever suffering comes your way, but if you learn how to adjust you will not have any problems. You will settle your previous accounts. If you encounter a robber and you do not adjust he will beat you up. Instead you should simply adjust and get your work done by saying, “Friend, what do you want? I am on a pilgrimage and do not have a lot of money.” In so doing, you have adjusted to him.
You make a mistake if you criticize your wife’s cooking. You must not do that. You are talking as if you never make any mistakes. You must adjust with the person with whom you have made a commitment to spend your life. If you hurt anyone, how can you call it the religion of Lord Mahavir? No one in the home should be hurt. This is very important.
A man came to me saying, “Dada, my wife is not behaving well. She is difficult to get along with.” I asked him what his wife said about him. He replied, “She says, my husband has no sense.” Why is he looking for justice for himself when he complains about his wife? He then went on to tell me that his home was ruined and his wife and children were spoilt. I told him that nothing was ruined and that he did not know how to look at the situation. I told him that he should learn to understand everyone at home and recognize his or her nature.
Why is it so difficult to make adjustments? There are many people in your family including your extended family. It is difficult to get along with them all. All human beings do not have the same nature. People’s nature correlates to the current time cycle. In Satyug (The time of Truth), everyone lived in harmony. Even if a hundred people lived under one roof, all of them would respect and obey the head of the household. However, in this Kaliyug (Age of despair), they do not listen; they challenge his authority, antagonize, and even abuse him.
Everyone is human, but you do not know how to recognize this. There may be fifty people in the household, but because you do not recognize their nature, disputes arise. You need to recognize their differences. If one person in the house complains all the time, then that is his nature. Once you recognize this fact, you need not do anything further. You need not analyze him any more.
Some people have a habit of going to sleep late and some go to bed early. How can they get along? What would happen if they all live together under one roof as a family? Someone in the home may say, “You are an idiot.” At this time you should accept the fact that this is the manner in which this person speaks. This is how you adjust. If you return his insult, you will exhaust yourself and the conflict will continue. That person has collided with you, but if you collide with him, then it just goes to prove that you too, are blind. I am asking you to understand these differences in the nature of human beings.
Your home is like a garden. During the times of Satyug, Dwapar and Tretayug, homes were like farms (people with similar personalities). Some farms had only ‘roses’ while others had only ‘lilies’. Nowadays, homes have become gardens, where you find different varieties of ‘flowers’ (different personalities). No two plants are the same. Should we not examine whether a flower is a rose or a jasmine? In Satyug, if there was a household of a rose, then all the rest were roses, if another house were of jasmine, then all others in the household were jasmine. Today if everyone in the home were a rose, everyone is alike, then there would not be many problems. But nowadays these homes are gardens, where one is a rose and another is a jasmine. The rose complains, “Why are you not like me? Look at how white you are and look at my pretty color.” The jasmine will reply, “You are full of thorns.” If it is a rose, then of course it will have thorns and if it is a jasmine, of course it will be white.
In this time of Kaliyug, every plant in the household is so diverse that the house has become a garden. People do not understand this and that leads to misery. The world does not have this view. No one is bad. These differences of opinion are attributable to egoism. I do not have an ego; therefore I have no conflict with the world. I can see that this is a rose, this is a jasmine, this is a moonflower, and this is the flower of a bitter gourd. I recognize all the personalities. These gardens should be appreciated. What do you think ?
Questioner : You are right.
Dadashri : It’s like this : prakriti does not change. It has its own qualities and it remains the same. I know and understand each and every prakriti. I recognize it right away and therefore, I interact with people according to their prakriti. If you seek to enjoy the sun at noon in midsummer, you will suffer. The winter sun is not as harsh. Once you know the prakriti of the sun, you can make adjustment for your purpose.
I understand prakriti, so even if you seek to clash with me, I will avoid it. I will not let it happen. Otherwise both the parties will suffer in the collision. Recognize the prakriti of everyone in the home.
In this Kaliyug, prakritis are not homogenous like a crop in a farm, but today all these prakritis exist in the form of a garden, where one is a lily, one a rose and one a jasmine. All these flowers are fighting, and that is why there are perpetual arguments.
You should not express your opinion first. Ask the other person what he thinks about the matter at hand. If the other person adheres to his viewpoint, then you should let go of your opinion. All you need to make sure of is that the other person does not get hurt in any way. Do not attempt to impose your opinion upon others. Accept the other person’s viewpoint. I have accepted everyone’s opinion and have become a Gnani. I never push my opinion on others. No one should be hurt by your opinion.
If your mental revolutions are at a speed of 1800 rpm and the other person’s revolutions are at 600 and you try to force your opinion on that person, his engine will break down and all the gears will have to be replaced.
Questioner : What do you mean by revolutions?
Dadashri : Revolution refers to the speed at which a person thinks. It varies from person to person. If something happens, these thought processes can show you so many things in just one minute; it can show you so many different phases at a time. A president’s revolutions maybe 1200 per minute; mine are at 5000, and Lord Mahavir’s were 100,000!
What is the cause behind clashes? If your wife has 100 revolutions, and you have 500. You do not know how to employ a ‘counter-pulley,’ to slow down your revolutions. This results in arguments, clashes, and fights and sometimes the whole engine may break.
Do you understand what I mean by ‘revolutions?’ If you talk to a laborer, he will not understand what you are trying to say, because his revolutions are at 50 and yours are at 500. People’s revolutions are according to their level of development. He will understand what you are saying only after you insert a counter-pulley and slow your revolutions down. I use a counter-pulley with everyone. Therefore, I do not have conflicts with anyone. I know that the person I am dealing with has only so many revolutions and therefore, I adjust the counter-pulley accordingly. Removal of the ego alone is not enough to make the other person understand you. A counter-pulley must also be applied. I get along with small children, because I apply a counter-pulley with them too. If I did not, then their engine would break.
Questioner : Does this mean that a meaningful conversation can only occur when we come down to the level of the other person?
Dadashri : Yes. You will be able to communicate with them, only when you come to their level of revolutions. If you do not know how to apply a counter-pulley, what fault is it of the engine with lesser revolutions?
You just have to recognize how the machinery works. If the fuse blows, how should you replace it? You should know how to adjust to the other person’s nature. I adjust when the other person blows his fuse. What happens when the other person can adjust no more? The fuse blows out! There is darkness and he bumps into the wall, or the door. However, the wire is still intact. If someone fixes the fuse, it will work again. Until then he will continue to be frustrated.
The greatest suffering comes when one fails to adjust. Why not adjust everywhere?
Questioner : It requires effort.
Dadashri : No effort is needed. You just have to follow my aagna (directions, dictates) by saying, ‘Dada has told us to adjust everywhere.’ The adjustments will then follow. If your wife calls you a thief, then you should tell her that she is right. And if she wants to buy a saree, just give her a few extra rupees.
One day of Brahma is equal to one whole lifetime. Why all these hassles just to live one day of Brahma? If you were to live one hundred years of Brahma, then the argument, “Why should we adjust?” is reasonable and you could then start making your claims. But if you want to end this quickly, what should you do? Should you adjust or fight back? Life is too short. Your work needs to be finished quickly by adjusting everywhere. When you quarrel with your wife, are you able to sleep at night? And in the morning do you get a decent breakfast?
One night a wife pleads with her husband to buy her a saree. When he asks her how much it is, she tells him it costs only 2,200 rupees. The husband tells her he would gladly buy it if it cost 200 or 300 rupees, but they cannot afford to buy such an expensive saree. The wife gets upset and begins to sulk. What kind of a problem has been created? He even begins to regret getting married. What use is regret after the fact? This is suffering.
Questioner : Are you saying that the husband should buy her the 2,200 rupee saree?
Dadashri : It all depends upon him whether to buy it or not. Her disgruntled attitude will continue and every night she will threaten not to cook. From where will he get another cook? He will have to buy it even if he has to borrow the money.
He should make the situation such that she herself would not want to buy the saree. If he was earning 800 rupees a month, he should keep 100 rupees for his personal expenses and if he gave remaining 700 rupees, is she likely to ask him to buy a 2200 rupee saree? If she had to manage the finances in running the household, is she likely to buy such an expensive saree? Then he could even tease her a little and tell her, “That saree is very nice, why don’t you buy it?” The decision would then fall on her shoulders. She should do her own budgeting but naturally she will pressure him if he takes the matters in his own hands. I learnt this art before I attained Gnan. It was much later that I became a Gnani. I acquired Gnan after I discovered ways of dealing with difficult situations. You have problems because you do not have this approach.
Questioner : Yes, it is correct.
Dadashri : Did you understand this? The fault is all yours. You must learn this art.
Questioner : What causes conflicts? Is it incompatibility?
Dadashri : Conflicts arise because of ignorance, ignorance of the real Self and of the world. In this world, the natural characteristics of every individual are different. Once you attain this knowledge of the Self, there is only one solution : Adjust everywhere. If someone hits you, you must adjust to him.
I am showing you a simple and a straightforward solution to resolve your conflicts. These conflicts do not occur everyday, they only occur when your past karmas are ready to give their results. Adjust, when this happens. If a fight occurs with your wife, make her happy afterwards by taking her out for a dinner. From now on, the strain in your relationship should not linger.
Nothing in this world will adapt to us. But if we are able to fit into it, the world will be good to us. If we try to make the world adapt to us, then it will be awkward. Therefore, adjust everywhere. If we fit into it, there will be no problems.
One day the kadhi Hiraba made was good, but it was salty. I thought to myself, ‘There is definitely too much salt, but I can sip it in small amounts.’ As soon as Hiraba went inside, I diluted it with water. She saw me do that and asked me why I did that. I told her what difference does it make whether she added water to it on the stove or I added it on the dining table? She told me kadhi should be boiled after water is added to it. I told her it made no difference to me.
Say you tell me to have lunch at 11 o’clock, but I ask if I can eat later. If you say no because you want to finish cleaning up, then I will adjust and immediately sit down to eat.
You should eat whatever comes to you on your plate. That, which comes in front of you, is your account. God has said that if you avoid that event, you will be at a loss. Even if there are things on my plate that I do not particularly care to eat, I will eat some of it anyway. If I don’t, then I will be creating trouble in two ways. First, the person who cooked and brought the food will feel insulted and hurt. Secondly the food itself will protest, “What have I done wrong? I am being offered to you, so why are you insulting me? Take as much as you want, but please do not insult me!” Should we not show some respect to it? If someone gives me something that I do not like, I will accept it. The food which is offered to you, does not come easily, therefore it must be respected. Would it add to or diminish your enjoyment if you criticize it? Many times I do not like the vegetables being served, but I still eat them. Moreover, I compliment the chef.
I am often served tea without sugar. I do not say anything. So people say, “If you don’t say anything, your wife will become careless in these matters.” I tell them to wait and see what happens the next day. The next day she says : “Yesterday, there was no sugar in the tea. Why didn’t you say something to me?” I said : “Why do I need to tell you? You will know it when you taste it yourself. If you do not drink tea, then I would tell you. You drink it too, so is there any need for me to tell you?”
Questioner : To make these adjustments one has to be alert each and every second.
Dadashri : Yes, you must be alert at every moment, which is how this Gnan began. This Gnan has not come about fortuitously. I had taken all these adjustments from the beginning. Avoid conflicts.
When I went for a bath one day, I discovered there was no tumbler to pour water with. I adjusted. When I tested the water with my hand, it was scalding hot. And when I turned on the tap for some cold water, I found that the tank was empty. Slowly and carefully, I cupped the water in my hands and cooling it in this way; I managed to take a bath. I could hear the Mahatmas saying, “Today Dada is taking a long time to bathe.” What could I do? I had to wait until the water had cooled down. I never inconvenience anyone. I adjust. To adjust is religion. In this world, we have to make adjustments to balance things out by adding or subtracting. Where there is a minus, I plus it. Where there is a plus, I minus it. If someone were to tell me that my words do not make any sense, I would tell him that he is correct. I would immediately make my adjustments.
How can you be called a man, if you do not know how to adjust? Those who adjust to their circumstances will not have any conflicts at home. I used to adjust to Hiraba. If you want to enjoy the benefit of your wife’s company, you must adjust. Otherwise, you will create enmity.
Each living being is independent and is looking for happiness. He is not here to give happiness to others. If a person encounters sorrow when he is looking for happiness, he will create enmity; regardless of who gets in his way, be it his wife, his children or his family.
Questioner : If he has come in search of happiness and instead he finds unhappiness, does he create enmity?
Dadashri : Yes. Whether it is for a brother or a father, he will generate enmity from within. This is how the world is. In the path of liberation, (svadharma, atmadharma, Spirituality of the Soul), one cannot create enmity with anyone.
People’s lives must be guided by certain principles. One must act according to circumstances at hand. He who adjusts according to the circumstances is to be applauded and respected. If one knows how to adjust in every situation, then liberation is at hand. This is a great weapon.
This Dada is thrifty, frugal, generous, and completely adjustable at the same time. Generous when it comes to others. Frugal when it comes to himself. Economical when it comes to preaching. People notice that I practice thriftiness also. My economy is adjustable and of the highest kind. I even economize when using water. I am natural and spontaneous.
First we have to learn the art of worldly interaction. People suffer because they do not understand this.
Questioner : In spiritual matters nothing excels your science. But even these lessons of worldly interaction are practical and most useful.
Dadashri : Without understanding the art of worldly interaction, liberation is not possible for anyone. No amount of knowledge of the Soul alone will help because the world has to let you go. If the world does not free you, what can you do? You are a Pure Soul but only if the world leaves you alone. You are becoming further entangled with the world. Why not free yourself as quickly as possible?
You send someone to buy some ice cream, he returns empty-handed. When asked why, he tells you that half way to the store, he saw a donkey. He believes this to be a bad omen so he returns. Such wrong beliefs and superstitions have to be removed. He needs to know that God resides within that donkey too. His notion and belief of bad luck is foolish. His repulsion for the donkey reaches the God inside the donkey. He is committing a sin. You can explain things to him in this way and convince him not to let this happen again. This is how ignorance thrives. This is how people fail to adjust.
What is the sign of right knowledge? It is when everyone else in the home fails to adjust, but the one who has the right knowledge adjusts. To adjust in all situations, is a sign of right knowledge. I am telling you all these things after having made this ultimate and subtle discovery about worldly interactions. I am showing you how to live in this world and how to attain liberation. My goal is to lessen your problems and obstacles.
Whatever you say should be acceptable to the other person. If what you say does not agree with him, then it is your fault. You can only adjust if you correct your mistakes. Lord Mahavir’s message is to adjust everywhere.
Questioner : Dada, the “Adjust Everywhere” message that you have given, solves every problem, regardless of the intensity of the problem or the nature of the person.
Dadashri : All problems are solved. Every word of mine will solve your problems and liberate you. Adjust everywhere.
Questioner : Until now, we only adjusted in situations and with people we like. You are saying that we have to adjust also to situations and people we do not like.
[*Dadashri : *]Adjust everywhere, whether you like it or not.
Questioner : What is the intention behind this adjustment, and to what extent do we have to adjust ?
Dadashri : The intention is peace and the goal is peace. This is the key to avoid unhappiness. It is Dada’s science of adjustment. This adjustment is remarkable. You know what happens whenever you do not adjust. This failure to adjust is foolishness. Adjustment is justice. Any kind of obstinacy (adherence to one’s viewpoint) is not justice. You should never force your viewpoint on anyone regardless of the matter; I never do. In life, you must use the approach that will quickly draw matters to a close.
No one has ever failed to adjust with me. Here, a household of only four cannot adjust with each other. Will you learn how to adjust? Is it not possible to adjust? You will learn from whatever you observe. The law of this world is that you will learn from what you observe. No one has to teach you that. Is any part of this difficult to learn? Perhaps you might not understand the part that I am preaching, but if you were to observe my conduct, you will easily learn.
People do not know how to adjust in their homes and yet they sit down to read scriptures about Self-realization. You foolish people, put aside the scriptures, first learn how to adjust in your own home. They do not know the first thing about how to adjust at home. This is typical of the world.
Even if you know very little in this world, it is not a major problem. You may have very little knowledge about your field of work. Even that is all right, but it is essential that you know how to adjust. You have to learn to adjust otherwise you will suffer. Take advantage of this message and make the most of it.
Jai Sat Chit Anand
Oh Pure Soul within me! You reside within all living beings, just as you reside in me. Your divine form is my real form . My Real form is “Shuddhatma.” (Pure Atma).
Oh Shuddhatma Bhagwan ! With infinite devotion and oneness, I offer my salutations to you. I confess unto you, all mistakes * that I have committed in my ignorant state. I sincerely repent for these mistakes and ask for your pardon. Oh Lord ! Please forgive me, forgive me, forgive me and give me the strength not to repeat these mistakes again.
Oh Shuddhatma Bhagwan ! Please bless us all with such grace that this separation from you disappears and we attain oneness with you. May we remain One with you at all times.
(* Recall the past mistakes that you have committed)
Pratikraman : Process of Divine Apology
With Dada Bhagwan as my witness, I offer my salutations to the Pure Soul who is totally separate from the mind, speech and body of * _________
I recall my mistakes (aalochana)
I apologize for these mistakes (pratikraman)
I affirm not to repeat these mistakes again (Pratyakhyaan)
Dearest Dada Bhagwan ! Grant me the strength to act in accordance with this firm resolution.
recall the mistakes you committed with this person.
Life requires continuous adjustment in relation to unpleasant and unfavorable circumstances. In everyday situations (such as opening an umbrella in the rain, or wearing a jacket in the cold) we generally don’t resist these required adjustments. However, when dealing with difficult people, facing unhealthy relationships, in family relationships, or in the midst of marriage problems, adjustments become increasingly difficult. Some of our relationships could even be said to be the very definition of conflict! We ask ourselves, how can we possibly adjust in these emotionally-challenging situations? In the book “Adjust Everywhere”, Gnani Purush (embodiment of Self knowledge) Dada Bhagwan offers the ultimate conflict resolution skills in the form of spiritual conflict resolution strategies. His key phrase “Adjust Everywhere” is explained in the context of many common and everyday relationship challenges.