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A Taste Of My Thoughts The Night Before Christmas

A Taste Of My Thoughts

The Night Before Christmas

By Steve Lake

Copyright 2016

 

 

 

Shakespir Edition 2016

Published by Steve Lake

Copyright 2016 Steve Lake

 

 

 

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The Night Before Christmas

12-4-2016

Steve Lake

 

 

It was the night before Christmas

And all through the house

Kids were deceived

And dad shot a mouse

 

We were over crowded with relatives

All drunk and slurring their words

Aunt Susie acting like a floozy

Uncle Harold being absurd

 

The clock was pushing midnight

Kids forced to go to sleep

They said Santa would not come

If we let out a peep

 

Approaching 2 A.M. the music was getting louder

A familiar voice says Ho Ho Ho

We thought it was Santa

It was just Uncle Bill getting ready to go

 

At 3 A.M. the garage door opened

I screamed quite I am trying to sleep

I hear dad speaking in tongue

I sounded like bad Chinese

 

The laughter started to roar

A tool hits the wall

Dad’s working on a project

Hidden away in the garage

 

I hear dad scream for Santa

A plea for more booze I got scared

I pulled the sheets over my head

Upon my neck stood my hair

 

I hear a string of cuss words

They filtered through the night

Dad was screaming damn instructions

I was thinking alcohol and bad Chinese wasn’t right

 

Around 4 A.M.

One by one the voices faded

The floor was littered with relatives

Thinking to all a good night

 

Amongst the last few hours of darkness

Once more I hear Ho Ho Ho

Then mom’s voice rang out saying

That isn’t where it goes

 

Then dad acting like Santa

Bellowing out to his reindeers

On cupid, on butt cheek, on twin mountains

The rest of this story you know

Back to sleep before I hear another Ho Ho Ho

 

Finally Christmas day arrived

The sun’s rays piercing my lids to my eyes

My energy level rises quickly

My spirit races me towards the tree

I won’t be denied

 

I run down the hall screaming

The relatives quite my roar with their snores

I stepped upon three victims

From Christmas Eve the night before

 

I’m checking out all the presents

Looking at each one twice

Then I see one present

Uncle Ted is using it as a pillow

Damn it just isn’t right

 

I bellow to wake up the dead

Yet no one moves an inch

I’m starting to get pissed off

So this is what I did

 

Plastic bowls littered the floor

One by one I collected them all

My sister thought I was weird

Cleaning up the mess from those that fall

I told her to sit

To be my witness to my deed

Each bowl I filled with warm water

Inserting the dead peoples fingers my victims to be

 

One by one like on a hot summer day

The human sprinklers went off in different ways

Forming a line at the bathroom door

Upon their pants wearing their shame and more

 

Dad yelled my name knowing his trick

After all he showed me this when he was drunk a bit

He said I will be on Santa’s naughty list

I said not to worry I had 364 days to fix

 

That Christmas I got my shinny new bike

The pedals were crooked and the seat not tight

My new helmet and pads I donned

When I pulled my first wheelie

I knew something was wrong

 

My front tire rolled solo down the street

I went over the handle bars my fate to meet

I dragged my new bicycle home to dad

He was still speaking bad Chinese and looking sad

 

Dad said son there is a lesson here to be learned

When you are older and it’s Christmas Eve it will be your turn

It might seem silly now but I will ask

When you are in college learn Chinese and make me proud

So you won’t be the dumb ass in the crowd

 

And when you get drunk on Christmas Eve

And your eyes start to squint to a slant they be

You will understand where I went wrong

Trying to assemble a bike

Cussing in bad Chinese with a drink a bit too strong

 

I told dad it was okay

The people from last night won’t remember anyway

And as far as I was concerned

His mistake removed me from the naughty list

He just laughed thank God he didn’t get pissed

So in his drunken failure my wisdom grew

A plan for next year is what I knew

If I was to get a bigger bike

I will check all the nuts and bolts to be all tight

 

 

If you have enjoyed this poem, please take a moment and reward me with a review on the smashword.com page where you downloaded it. Thanks Steve

 

 


A Taste Of My Thoughts The Night Before Christmas

  • ISBN: 9781370769605
  • Author: Steve Lake
  • Published: 2016-12-09 21:05:18
  • Words: 863
A Taste Of My Thoughts The Night Before Christmas A Taste Of My Thoughts The Night Before Christmas