Episode 06 – Lucy Davis Hates Casey Beckerman
“You still smell like spider guts.”
“Really? I showered three times.”
“Are you ready to be seated?” asked the waitress.
“We’ll just sit at the bar.”
Vince followed his date and sat on a stool beside her. Lucy Davis watched as the people beside them hurried away after getting one whiff of him.
“Maybe we should do this another time?”
Lucy was just about to agree with him, when she saw a tall blonde walk through the front doors.
“Isn’t that your ex?”
But Vince had felt a chill go up his spine as she walked in, and was already covering his head with a menu.
“Don’t let her know I’m here.”
“Don’t be a baby. We can just ignore her.”
But just like every other man in the bar, Vince couldn’t look away.
“Looking good, Casey,” a voice said between the catcalls and the hooting.
“Really? I had no idea,” she said, in her best phone-sex voice. “Whoopsie, did I walk out of the house wearing my old cheerleading uniform? How embarrassing. It doesn’t even fit me anymore. My breasts have gotten so much larger since then.”
After a little more teasing, Casey Beckerman grew tired of the men laying $4.99 a minute at her feet, and turned her attention to the real reason she was here.
“Vince Mahone. I know that’s you, hiding over there.”
“Uh… hi, Casey.”
Casey, being much less timid than Vince, hopped right into his lap and put her hands on his chest.
“Why didn’t you call me, Vince?”
“Because you cheated on me, kicked me out of my apartment and threw my TV out a window?”
“Yeah, but then I saw you take on that huge spider downtown. That was so brave. And plus, you smell so manly.”
“Uh, I… I ….”
“Shh, don’t say anything. Just come back home. I miss you.”
As confused as Vince was at Casey’s sudden change of heart, he was even more perplexed at Lucy’s silence.
“Aren’t you going to say something?”
“I would, if I felt threatened.”
“Excuse me?” said Casey, now on the defensive.
“You heard me. You’re not a threat to me.”
“You think I couldn’t win Vince back?”
“Not as long as he’s with me.”
“Why you little…”
Before she could finish, Lucy grabbed the ex cheerleader by the hair and slammed her face against the counter. Vince, the bartender, and the entire restaurant cringed at the sight of Casey’s face smacking the bar.
And just to add insult to injury, Lucy Davis stood over the dazed girl lying flat on her back, and poured half her drink onto her bruised face.
“Don’t mess with my boyfriend.”
Episode 07 – Lucy Davis Hates The Coyote
“Would you mind elaborating more on that?”
“Yeah, I would mind.”
“That’s ok. It’s only our first session, but I’m here to help you feel better Lucy. You should feel free to be open with me.”
“Do you want to talk about why your mother sent you here, or maybe start slow?”
“I don’t care.”
“Alright then. She said she saw marks on your shoulders. Would you mind telling me where those came from?”
“I paint tiger stripes on myself when I’m bored.”
“She also found a few bloodstains in your laundry.”
“I got my period.”
“On your shirt?”
It wasn’t often that Lucy Davis went silent, but this was a rare occasion. Her normal habit was to avoid such serious subjects.
“I’m sorry if I upset you. How about this; I’ll ask where the cuts came from one more time, and no matter what answer you give, I’ll believe you.”
Lucy was intrigued by this. “Even if I say I got them during an alien dissection, or a wizard duel, or battling a giant spider?”
“I will believe you, no matter what.”
It only took a few seconds for Lucy Davis to compile a list of a thousand ridiculous ways in which she could have gotten her scars, but upon seeing the sincerity on the face of the therapist, she lost the urge to craft a grand and ridiculous story with enormous monsters, drama, romance, and possibly a sing-a-long.
I know, I’m disappointed to.
“I got scratched by a coyote.”
“Oh? That’s quite… believable.”
“Well, that’s what happened. There’s a coyote living in my basement, and he scratched me.”
“Your basement in Chicago?”
“Yeah, but he’s still around.”
“How often does he come out?”
Lucy looked down at the floor. “A lot.”
“Has he scratched you since you moved?”
She shook her head.
“Do you have a rubber band, or something?” Lucy asked.
Her therapist grabbed one from the desk and tossed it to her, and she immediately pulled it around her wrist.
“Why does the coyote scratch you?”
“Because my mom is a bitch.”
The therapist took note of that. “Our time is about up, but we can keep going. Do you want to talk more about it?”
Lucy Davis did want to talk about it. It was all she’d ever wanted to do.
“Alright. Then we’ll meet back here next week. Same time. Is that alright with you?”
Episode 08 – Lucy Davis Hates Billy Bob’s Diner
“How do you feel?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Ok, that’s cool. Do you want something to eat?”
“Awesome. There’s a great place around the corner.”
Vince led Lucy to one of his favorite restaurants in town; Billy Bob’s Diner.
“I love this place. They have the best food you’ll ever eat.”
As Vince stood in line at the counter, bouncing up and down with excitement, Lucy watched the guy at the register take the orders of the people ahead of them.
“Can I get a sandwich with just fruits and veggies, and carrot sticks instead of fries?”
“Gimme the Punisher,” the cashier shouted back to kitchen. “Next.”
“Hello. Could I have a Mexican Platter, with some ketchup?”
“One American Tourist in Mexico. Next?”
“One Tuna Salad Sandwich, with the biggest order of fries you can give me.” Vince told him.
“Nice to see you, Vince. One Irish Fisherman, hold the whiskey. Next.”
“Do you want fries with that?”
“One Regular Americana. Next.”
“Man, isn’t this place the best?” Vince said after they found a booth.
“I just love how friendly everyone is. Don’t you think so to?”
“Are you doing, ok?” he asked her as she continued to look down at the table and count her change. “You’ve been really quiet ever since you got back from therapy. And you’re normally pretty quiet anyway, so I’m wondering if I should be concerned.”
“He stole from me.”
Lucy Davis turned over to that stupid register guy, shaking her fist at him. “I’m six cents short!”
“Lucy, is that really…”
“Not now, Vince. I need to go teach this guy a lesson.”
“But it’s only six cents.”
“I said not now, Vince. This is important. Are you gonna help me beat the crap out that stupid evil thieving register guy or not?”
Vince sighed, knowing there was nothing he could do to dissuade her. “Can I at least eat first?”
Episode 09 – Lucy Davis Hates Stupid Evil Sandwich Shop Guy
“Can I help you?”
“You shorted me! I didn’t get all my change!”
“How much do you need? I can just…”
“That’s not good enough! I want all my money back!”
“Well, you can’t have it.”
“And why is that?”
And before her eyes, the mean cashier rose up on a giant pedestal, looking down on Lucy Davis from his perch and laughing like the world’s most evil super villain.
“You want to know why? It’s because I don’t want to, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me, Stupid Evil Sandwich Shop Guy! Now, release the automatons, and destroy these fools!”
Suddenly, Billy Bob’s robots started crawling out of the woodwork, wielding huge metal pinchers and spatulas.
“Lucy, it’s only six cents. Do we really have to…”
Lucy Davis pulled out her laser rifle while Vince whipped out his katana, and together they mowed down Stupid Evil Sandwich Shop Guy’s robot minions.
“Duck!” she called, and as Vince dropped to the floor, she shot a robot’s head clean off.
“There’s too many!” Vince called, getting tired and desperate.
“Then it’s time to take out their leader.”
With one jump, Lucy Davis flew thirty feet into the air, and as she came back down to earth, travelling at tremendous speed, she flipped around and shut up his maniacal laughter by giving him a flying roundhouse kick in his stupid evil face.
“Get the door,” she shouted as she grabbed the money from the register, and after stepping over the piles of broken machinery, she and Vince proudly sprinted away, tightly clutching their hard earned loot; six dollars and twenty three cents.
Episode 10 – Lucy Davis Hates Reality
Lucy Davis sat in the overly soft chair in her therapist’s office, snapping a rubber band against her wrist. She wondered how much she should reveal about what was going on inside of her, and how much she should keep to herself. It was a tough decision, especially for a girl so convinced the world could never understand her.
Thinking so hard made her feel anxious, and she started snapping the rubber band even harder. There was no place to escape to in this tiny room, and she could almost hear the coyote growling in her ear.
“Hello, Lucy,” her therapist said, walking into the room.
“Now, last week we left off talking about your mother. Do you want to continue that conversation?”
“Fair enough. Has the coyote come back?”
“No,” she lied.
“He hasn’t scratched you at all?”
“That’s excellent news.”
“Has there been anything else going on in your life? How’s your father?”
“Ok. Do you think you could give me more than two word answers?”
“Alright then. Can we talk more about the coyote?”
Lucy’s response was to chuck a lamp at her therapist’s head.
“Lucy, what’s gotten into you?”
“There is no coyote you idiot!”
“I know that, but we don’t have to be blunt. We’re very early on in your treatment, so we can afford to beat around the bush a little bit.”
Lucy calmed down, and wished over and over again that she could just turn invisible and walk out of the room.
“That’s very unlike you. You’re father says you aren’t normally an angry person.”
“My father doesn’t know shit about me.”
“Well, I’ve never seen you get angry, either. Is there just something about being here that upsets you?”
“What is it that gets you upset? What makes you have outbursts like that?”
“People who piss me off.”
“And what do you normally do to keep calm?”
“… I make things happen.”
“What does that mean?”
Lucy Davis, once again, thought long and hard about what she wanted to say, but eventually decided to give opening up a chance.
“If I need to escape, or I don’t want to deal with something, crazy stuff will just start happening.”
“Giant monsters, super villains, damsels that need rescuing… that kind of stuff.”
“Of course not. I’ve had many patients who use fantasy to escape from their problems in the real world.”
“So you think I’m crazy?”
“… I think you’re having a very hard time.”
She looked down at the floor, once again wishing she could disappear.
“What’s the last monster you faced?”
“The monsters? Or super villains? Tell me about the most recent one you had to defeat.”
“… It was this annoying guy at a diner. He didn’t give me the right change.”
“Is that all?”
“Yeah, but then he got on top of this giant pedestal and sent a robot army after me.”
“Boy, reality has got nothing on you.”
She couldn’t help but smile at that.
“So let me ask you, Lucy Davis; whether it’s real or not, what’s it like when your mind helps you escape?”
What she said next was the easiest answer she ever gave in a therapy session.
“It’s pretty awesome.”
This is a story all about a girl who must conquer the past to move forward with her life. Lucy Davis is 20 years old and has moved in with her father in Texas, after her mother threw her out of her home. She's headstrong and confident, but her vivid imagination is making her new quirky environment even quirkier. However, the friends she makes in this small town will help her to come to terms with who she is, and maybe even help her hate reality a little bit less. Lucy Davis Hates Reality is a story that I wrote using my own experience with self-harm, depression and generally being a young adult. It's weird, it's crazy and sometimes it's hard to know exactly what's going on, but that's how it is being young; fumbling around in the dark and trying to find something to latch onto.