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9 Immediate Ways to Help Your Child Avoid Being Bullied - A Self-Esteem & Bully

Cheat Sheet:

9 Immediate Ways to

Help Your Child

Avoid Being Bullied

 

By Angela Skebba, Self-Esteem & Bullying Expert

Certified Adolescent Self-Esteem Coach

 

*Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

 

 

Table of Contents

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Introduction

#
p<>{color:#000;}. True Story #1 – Jason’s Secret

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Kids with Low Self-Esteem Make Easy Targets for Bullying

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Your Child Looks Like Her Confidence Is Down in the Dumps

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Your Child or Teen Rarely Smiles or Laughs

#
p<>{color:#000;}. True Story #2 – Jenna’s Struggle

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Your Child Struggles to Speak Up

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Poor Social Skills Often Leads to Bullying

#
p<>{color:#000;}. A Bully Looks for Someone Who Seems Unlikely to Fight Back

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Have We Met Yet?

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Crying Fuels a Bully’s Intentions

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Kids Being Bullied Often Don’t Tell

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Your Child or Teen Is Wrapped up in Her Own Problems

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Looking Forward

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Free Voucher for 60-Minute Coaching Session

Hi Friend,

 

If you’re reading this, you already know (or have a pretty good idea) that positive self-esteem important. You probably also know that being bullied can lead to some really bad stuff.

 

What you may not know, but need to know…is that there’s a significant connection between low self-esteem and being bullied.

 

I experienced this first-hand. I was bullied every day at school for 3 years during my middle school years. I was called names, teased, and my personal space was invaded.

 

I’ve been there and know what it feels like. (Awful. Scary. Intimidating. Anxiety-Inducing.)

 

As a 12-year-old – I was timid, unsure of myself, and struggled with low self-esteem. Sadly, I was a prime target for a bully.

 

LOW SELF-ESTEEM = PRIME TARGET FOR BULLYING.

 

Back then, I didn’t tell a soul about the bullying – which meant that NO ONE COULD HELP ME or give me the tools to make things so much better. Unfortunately, this is all too common.

 

There is absolutely no reason for your child or teen to go through what I did! (I bounced back, but it wasn’t an easy path.)

 

With that in mind, I created this Cheat Sheet: 9 Immediate (But Not So Obvious) Ways to Help Your Child Avoid Being Bullied…to help get things moving in the right direction.

 

Cheers to taking action and moving forward,

 

Angela

 

True Story #1 – Jason’s Secret

 

I’ve known Jason since the day he was born. What I’ve always known of Jason is that he is a sweet, kind, and thoughtful kid.

 

I knew that problems began for him in 6th grade, but only recently did I get the full story.

 

Jason struggled with low self-esteem and was bullied from ages 12 to 21 years.

 

He felt unable to stand up to the bullying.

 

Jason turned to marijuana, prescription drugs, and heroin to cope with being bullied.

 

He was anxious, depressed, lost interest in sports, got in with a bad crowd…and so on.

 

Jason has been in and out of addiction rehab centers for the past 3 years.

 

He didn’t tell anyone about the bullying until a year ago.

 

His parents have spent more than $20,000 on therapy and treatment facilities to date.

 

Jason’s mother’s biggest regret is not knowing about the bullying and not being able to stop it 9 years ago.

 

 

 

THIS DOESN’T HAVE TO BE YOUR CHILD’S VERSION OF THE STORY.

 

>> Just ahead – 9 tips to help your child/teen avoid being bullied.

 

Tip #1

Kids with Low Self-Esteem Make Easy Targets for Bullying.

 

Take a look at that statement again and let it sink in, because it is the central theme of this cheat sheet.

 

Why are kids with low self-esteem easy targets for bullying? Bullies target kids with low self-esteem who they perceive to be weaker and more vulnerable than themselves.

 

It’s much easier to bully someone who is easily intimidated and lacks confidence and courage to handle confrontation.

 

Knowledge Is Power.

 

The steps it took on your part to get ahold of this cheat sheet is progress already. (Nice work!)

 

Knowledge of the above fact – that kids with low self-esteem make easy targets for bullying – is a powerful first step.

 

Thankfully, healthy self-esteem, confidence, and a bully-proof disposition can be learned and developed.

 

If you suspect that your child has low self-esteem or is being bullied, keep reading for some quick ways to break the connection.

 

Tip #2

Your Child Looks Like Her Confidence Is Down in the Dumps.

 

Does your child or teen walk with her head down, shoulders slumped, eyes averted?

 

She may not actually be weak, but your child’s demeanor may come across as weakness to bullies who target kids that they perceive to be more vulnerable than themselves.

 

Keep Your Chin Up. (Literally.)

The good news is – you can change behavior! (Gently) make your child aware of these mannerisms, and then work on changing them with her.

 

Demonstrate to her how different it looks to have your head held high, shoulders back, good posture, and eye contact. Make a game out of it, and practice until it doesn’t feel silly or awkward (because it will, at first).

 

She’ll be surprised at how much more confident she feels with these simple changes!

 

And even if she doesn’t feel confident on the inside (yet) – coming across to others as confident on the outside will make a big difference.

 

Tip #3

Your Child or Teen Rarely Smiles or Laughs.

 

I’m not talking about having a bad day. We all have days when smiling feels like too much work, and laughing feels nearly impossible.

 

Simply put, if your teen’s usual disposition is sad and frowny, he will come across as someone who is weaker in the bully’s eyes.

 

Fake It ‘Til You Make It.

 

Even if your teen doesn’t feel like smiling or laughing, tell him to ‘fake it ‘til you make it.’ In other words, show confidence and happiness on the outside while he works on feeling it on the inside. It’s not easy, but it will make a difference.

 

When I started college, I decided that I was going to smile at every person I passed on the street. It was outside of my comfort zone, but it did wonders for my confidence and self-esteem. Challenge your teen to do something like this.

Think about it. You’re walking down the street and see someone smiling and laughing. Aren’t you more likely to assume that she is happy and confident in life, versus vulnerable and insecure?

 

And why is that? Because she LOOKS happy and confident.

 

As an added bonus, smiling is contagious. Remind your teen that when you smile at people, they will almost always smile back. And that will feel good.

 

True Story #2 – Jenna’s Struggle

 

Jenna is a sweet and kind young lady who I have the pleasure of knowing because her mom Elizabeth and I have been friends since we were young teenagers.

 

Elizabeth recently shared her daughter’s story with me.

 

Jenna started struggling with low self-esteem when she was 8 years old.

 

This also happens to be the time when the bullying started.

 

Elizabeth gave Jenna some ideas about what to say to the bullies, but Jenna struggled with confrontation and standing up for herself.

 

Elizabeth’s next step was getting the Principal of the school involved. He suggested that Jenna see a psychologist to help her with coping skills.

 

She took Jenna to see a psychologist and counselor, although sadly, the bullying continued.

 

Feeling angry, helpless, sad, frustrated, and out of options, Elizabeth transferred Jenna to a new school.

 

Thousands of dollars and several years of therapy later, Jenna still battles low self-esteem. She is also very nervous about starting high school, where she will come face to face with the bullies once again.

 

Elizabeth regrets not having self-esteem and bullying tools years ago before it all began.

 

 

 

WE CAN CHANGE THE VERSION OF THIS STORY FOR YOUR CHILD OR TEEN!

 

>> Read on for 6 more tips to help your child/teen avoid being bullied.

 

Tip #4

Your Child Struggles to Speak Up.

 

Does your daughter mumble or lack confidence when she speaks? Does she have trouble communicating with adults when addressed?

 

A quieter nature, low self-esteem, or poor speaking skills may be a factor.

 

Additionally, communication issues are much more common today because of the dependency on electronic communication. The more time your child spends communicating through a phone or computer, the less chance she has to develop a confident voice.

 

Bullies notice kids who mumble or are afraid to speak up because they perceive this as weakness and vulnerability.

 

Talk Your Head Off.

 

Use every opportunity to encourage conversation with your teen. Ask open-ended questions like, “What is your opinion on how the new Principal is doing at your school?” or “What do you like most about that movie we saw yesterday?”

 

Create and stick to an electronic-free time each day with your family – in the car, during dinner, playing a game, one hour before bed, etc. Make it your mission to foster lots of communication. Let your teen do most of the talking.

 

Like any skill, the more she does it, the better your teen will become at speaking up.

 

Tip #5

Poor Social Skills Often Leads to Bullying.

 

This relates to previous concepts (poor posture, eye contact, and communication).

 

For example, your son sees others raise their hands to speak in class, but he tends to blurt out answers without raising his hand. Or, he accidentally runs into someone in the hall and doesn’t stop to apologize or help clean up.

 

Kids who lack social and friendship building skills will stand out to a bully who preys on those who seem awkward and weak.

 

Practice Makes Perfect.

 

No one is born with social skills – they are learned. That’s good news!

 

Begin by (or continue) modeling social grace. Use every opportunity possible to demonstrate good manners, empathy, compassion, kindness – then explain your reasons to your child. If you have small children – start doing it with them too.

 

Explain the importance of and encourage friendship building. Facilitate opportunities for him to connect with people one-on-one (have a friend over for pizza and a movie).

 

Help your son to create a personal goal that is specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and within a time frame (e.g. run 1 mile in 9 minutes by November 1). Have him write down his goal and break it into small steps. Achieving a personal goal will do wonders for his overall self-esteem and social skills.

 

Tip #6

A Bully Looks for Someone Who Seems Unlikely to Fight Back.

 

By “fight back” I don’t mean kicking and throwing punches. I am referring to your child’s ability to resist bullying behavior.

 

Bullies test boundaries with kids they believe are vulnerable. If your child’s boundaries are easily breeched and she doesn’t resist, she is an easy target.

 

Just Say No.

 

One of the methods I incorporate with kids that I coach is role-playing bullying scenarios. Try this with your daughter – present a variety of situations she might find herself in, and ask her what she would do in each one. Additionally, have her practice the following statements:

 

“No thanks. I’m not interested in what you have to say.”

“No. What you’re saying is not okay.”

“No, you do not have the right to treat me that way.”

There is a lot of power in that tiny word to a bully who is testing boundaries. The trick is in developing and using that voice to say “NO!”

 

Does your child know how to stay calm under pressure? Deep breathing and counting exercises are other methods I include with role-playing.

 

Have We Met Yet?

 

I’m so happy that you stumbled upon this book and that you’ve read this far!

 

Please allow me a moment to formerly introduce myself, in case we haven’t already met.

 

I’m Angela Skebba (that’s skee-bah), and I’m an Adolescent Self-Esteem Coach.

 

Parents hire me to help them and their kids navigate self-esteem, confidence, and bullying issues. I offer private and group coaching, workshops, and webinars.

 

  • * * * * *

 

If it has to do with building self-esteem + resilience + bully-proofing your child or teen, it’s what I do.

 

I’m also a Pediatric Nurse, wife and mother of 3, and more, but you can read about that in my official bio.

 

If you have concerns about your 10-year-old daughter’s self-esteem, or you found out your

14-year-old son is being bullied – I can help you with that.

 

Life coaching is considered the most powerful catalyst on earth for change and improvement in life – especially for young people who are easily influenced.

 

And since self-esteem typically plummets during puberty – there’s no better time than now to address your concerns.

 

When I coach, I DON’T DO IT FOR THEM. I educate, inspire, and empower them to do it for themselves.

 

The results are that much more powerful and lasting!

 

  • * * * * *

 

Interested in joining my private community? YOU’LL GET FREE STUFF.

 

That includes weekly insider tips on building self-esteem + resilience in adolescents, how to prevent + combat bullying, coaching specials, blog posts, and more. >> Click here to subscribe.

 

If you would like to find out more about me or what I do, check out my little corner of the web here.

 

Tip #7

Crying Fuels a Bully’s Intentions.

 

I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes you just need a good cry. Being able to express your emotions is really important and healthy.

 

But crying at school when confronted or bullied can make a bad situation much worse.

 

So if the girls picking on your daughter see her cry as a result – to them, their bullying behavior has been “successful.” They perceive her crying as weakness and vulnerability which makes her a prime target for bullying. They understand that they can get to her – it fuels their intentions – and the bullying continues.

 

Save Your Tears. (For Later.)

 

Reassure your daughter that crying is a normal reaction to a bullying situation. It really hurts to be targeted (I’ve so been there), and a healthy cry may relieve some of the angst associated with it.

 

Encourage her to save her tears for at home with you or somewhere private.

 

Together, come up with ways to prevent the tears during uncomfortable moments. When I absolutely do not want to cry, I take deep breaths, bite my lip, and/or conjure up a memory of something funny, strange, or annoying to distract me from crying.

 

It requires some effort, but it works. The bullies will be none the wiser, and it will be one less challenge for your daughter to overcome.

 

Tip #8

Kids Being Bullied Often Don’t Tell.

 

Your child or teen may not tell you he’s being bullied for a myriad of reasons, including:

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. He’s afraid, ashamed, socially isolated, and/or he feels it’s his fault.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Bullying is a blow to his ego and he’s embarrassed.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. He doesn’t want you (his parents) to overreact or worry.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. He doesn’t think you can help or believe help is available.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. He fears retaliation from the bully.

 

I was bullied for 3 years in middle school and didn’t tell a single soul – for most of the reasons listed above.

 

Keep Calm and Be Comforting.

 

Do everything in your power to be cool, calm, comforting, and open with your child.

 

Ask “what” and “how” questions to encourage conversation about what is happening in his life.

 

Ask him point-blank if he knows what bullying is and if he has ever been bullied.

 

Reassure him that bullying is not okay, regardless of the reasons or situation, and that it can be stopped.

 

Tip #9

Your Child or Teen Is Wrapped up in Her Own Problems.

 

It’s common for teens to be wrapped up in their own lives and problems. Often, they are consumed with their own thoughts (“Ugh, my hair is too curly”) and thus believe that everyone else must be consumed with the same thoughts (“Wow, her hair is way too curly”).

 

This phenomenon can understandably make adolescents very self-conscious and self-absorbed. Your teen may be walking through life with blinders on, hyper-focused on her own reality and thoughts.

 

Doing Good = Feeling Good.

 

Arguably one of the most important ways to build self-esteem (and get your mind off your own stuff) is by doing something completely selfless for someone else.

 

Convey this idea to your daughter, and join her in doing something nice for someone else – whether it’s cooking dinner for a friend who had surgery, or visiting a senior confined to his home, or volunteering at a homeless shelter.

 

Doing good and worthwhile things for others will enhance your daughter’s sense of community and self-worth, and thus build positive self-esteem.

 

It’s Good to Share.

If you’ve gained something valuable from this cheat sheet and want to inspire someone else, please click below to share it with your Facebook peeps and/or Tweet about it!

 

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Looking Forward.

If you’ve used these 9 immediate tips and feel that your child or teen could use additional help, my coaching services may be the answer.

 

If you’re feeling uncertain and ill-equipped to handle your circumstances – stay calm, don’t worry, I will guide you through it.

 

Let’s take your child or teen from zero to bully-proof. Together. This cheat sheet is a great start.

 

If your child is being bullied and in a potentially life-threatening situation, please get immediate help by contacting your local police department.

 

Free Coaching Voucher

 

I’m so thankful that you took the time to grab your copy of this cheat sheet and that you’ve read this far.

 

Why am I thankful? Because it means that one more child or teen may not have to experience the terrible by-products of low self-esteem and bullying.

 

And that is what it’s about for me.

 

Please take advantage of this voucher and claim your free 60-min coaching session with me.

 

>> Schedule your session here while there’s still time!

 

“Of all the judgements and beliefs that each one of us owns, none is more important than the ones we have about ourselves.”

 

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

1940 – 2015

 

© 2016 ANGELA SKEBBA INTERNATIONAL, LLC. All rights reserved.

 

This document and all of its content are the sole property of Angela Skebba International, LLC (“Company”) and are, as such, fully protected by the appropriate international copyright and other intellectual property rights laws. No portion of these materials may be reproduced or distributed in any form. Any unauthorized use, disclosure, reproduction, or distribution is strictly prohibited and will be prosecuted to the fullest extent authorized by law.

 

In providing these materials to you, Company makes no representations or guarantees regarding any personal outcomes from your use of these materials. These materials are for educational and informational purposes only.

 

Please e-mail [email protected] with any questions regarding terms of use.


9 Immediate Ways to Help Your Child Avoid Being Bullied - A Self-Esteem & Bully

Save your valuable time, energy, and concern with this “crash course” cheat sheet that provides 9 immediate tips to prevent your child or teen from being bullied. Find out what you need to know right now about the connection between low self-esteem and bullying. The tips are put plainly and compassionately by the author, a Self-Esteem & Bullying Expert who is also an Adolescent Coach and Mom of 3. She combines professional experience – what stops bullying dead in its tracks – with personal experience – having experienced several years of bullying herself. BOOK PURCHASE ENTITLES YOU TO ONE FREE 60-MIN COACHING SESSION WITH ANGELA SKEBBA. Don’t miss these essential topics: - Kids with Low Self-Esteem Make Easy Targets for Bullying - Your Child Looks Like Her Confidence Is Down in the Dumps - Your Child or Teen Rarely Smiles or Laughs - Your Child Struggles to Speak Up - Poor Social Skills Often Leads to Bullying - A Bully Looks for Someone Who Seems Unlikely to Fight Back - Have We Met Yet? - Crying Fuels a Bully’s Intentions - Kids Being Bullied Often Don’t Tell - Your Child or Teen Is Wrapped up in Her Own Problems - True Stories of Bullying Victims

  • Author: angskebba1
  • Published: 2016-02-19 01:05:09
  • Words: 3143
9 Immediate Ways to Help Your Child  Avoid Being Bullied - A Self-Esteem & Bully 9 Immediate Ways to Help Your Child  Avoid Being Bullied - A Self-Esteem & Bully