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100+ Insults

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100+ Insults

By LOL Funny Jokes Club

~~~

Shakespir Edition

Copyright © 2014 by Hey Sup Bye Publishing

All rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction. No part of this book or this book as a whole may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form or means without written permission from the publisher. Graphics used in this book are licensed and © Dollar Photo Club

Shakespir Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

You’re so dumb insults…

You’re so ugly insults…

You’re so fat insults…

You’re so skinny insults…

You’re so poor insults…

Other insults…

[][][][] You’re so dumb insults…

You’re so dumb… you thought the Harlem Shake was a drink!

You’re so dumb… you failed a taste test!

You’re so dumb… you put stamps all over the computer to send an email!

You’re so dumb… you got hit by a parked bus!

You’re so dumb… when the weather man said that it’s chilly outside, you ran and grabbed a bowl!

You’re so dumb… you got locked in the grocery store and starved to death!

You’re so dumb… you returned a donut because it had a hole.

You’re so dumb… when I said my birthday is right around the corner, you went and looked!

You’re so dumb… you called me to ask me my phone number!

You’re so dumb… you got fired at the M&M factory for throwing away the W’s!

You’re so dumb… you stole a free sample!

You’re so dumb… you took a spoon to the Super Bowl!

You’re so dumb… you slept with a ruler to measure how long you were asleep!

You’re so dumb… you broke your arm and scheduled a visit with Dr. Pepper!

You’re so dumb… you can’t pass a blood test!

You’re so dumb… you tried to raise your IQ by standing on a ladder!

You’re so dumb… you tripped over wireless internet!

You’re so dumb… you went to a Clipper’s game for a haircut!

You’re so dumb… you sold your car for gas money!

[] You’re so ugly insults…

You’re so ugly… you tried to take a bath and the water jumped out!

You’re so ugly… you have to trick-or-treat online!

You’re so ugly… you got a job as a scarecrow!

You’re so ugly… you don’t need birth control, your face scares everyone.

You’re so ugly… your baby videos are rented as a horror movie!

You’re so ugly… your reflection slapped you!

You’re so ugly… your shadow ran away!

You’re so ugly… you have to sneak up on the mirror!

You’re so ugly… the zoo tried to detain you!

You’re so ugly… when you got to Taco Bell, everyone runs for the border!

You’re so ugly… you make onions cry!

You’re so ugly… your mother had to get drunk to breastfeed you!

You’re so ugly… your face stopped time!

You’re so ugly… the wind wouldn’t blow in your direction!

You’re so ugly… you scare blind kids!

You’re so ugly… the government moved Halloween to your birthday!

You’re so ugly… the bank turns off the surveillance cameras when you arrive!

You’re so ugly… you made the train take a dirt road!

You’re so ugly… when your mother went into labor the doctors tried to kill her!

You’re so ugly… you went to the haunted house and they gave you an application!

[] You’re so fat insults…

You’re so fat… you sat on a rainbow and made Skittles!

You’re so fat… your belly button gets home half an hour before you do!

You’re so fat… when you walk, you change the Earth’s rotation!

You’re so fat… your farts cause global warming!

You’re so fat… you went sky-diving with a yellow shirt and everyone thought the sun was falling out of the sky!

You’re so fat… we had to take your picture with Google Earth!

You’re so fat… you have your own area code!

You’re so fat… you sat on a dollar and it turned into four quarters!

You’re so fat… the back of your neck looks like a pack of hot dogs!

You’re so fat… you can’t jump to a conclusion!

You’re so fat… your landlord doubled your rent!

You’re so fat… you eat with a shovel!

You’re so fat… there’s an echo in your belly button!

You’re so fat… we had to put a tarp over the ocean to make you a waterbed!

You’re so fat… you broke a branch in your family tree!

You’re so fat… your picture kept falling off the wall!

You’re so fat… you fell and made the Grand Canyon!

You’re so fat… I tried to drive around you and ran out of gas twice!

You’re so fat… people jog around you for exercise!

You’re so fat… you have more chins than a Chinese phone book!

You’re so fat… you are always in at least two time zones!

You’re so fat… you fell out of both sides of the bed!

[] You’re so skinny insults…

You’re so skinny… you got your ear pierced and died!

You’re so skinny… you have to run around in the shower to get wet!

You’re so skinny… you have to wear a belt with spandex pants!

You’re so skinny… you have to be blind-folded with dental floss!

You’re so skinny… you can hula-hoop with a fruit loop!

You’re so skinny… you use cotton balls as pillows!

You’re so skinny… you don’t even have a shadow!

You’re so skinny… you go hang-gliding with Doritos!

You’re so skinny… you can dodge the rain!

You’re so skinny… you turned sideways and disappeared!

You’re so skinny… you can see in a peephole with both eyes!

You’re so skinny… you used a Cheerio as a floatation device!

[] You’re so poor insults…

You’re so poor… you eat cereal with a fork to save milk!

You’re so poor… you married young just to get some free rice!

You’re so poor… they put your face on the food stamps!

You’re so poor… that a burglar gave you money!

You’re so poor… I walked in your front door and fell in the backyard!

You’re so poor… you wash your paper plates!

You’re so poor… I saw you kicking a can down the road and asked you what you were doing. You said, “Moving.”

You’re so poor… I tried to ring your doorbell and you yelled “DING!”

You’re so poor… you got into a fight with a squirrel over a peanut!

You’re so poor… you watch TV on an Etch-a-Sketch!

You’re so poor… I came over for dinner and you just read the recipes aloud!

You’re so poor… you can’t even pay attention!

[] Other insults…

You’re so hairy… your chest looks like coconuts!

You’re so hairy… you shave with a weedeater!

You’re so bald… I can see what’s on your mind!

You’re so lazy… you starved instead on getting up to eat!

You’re so short… you can sit on a penny and let your feet dangle!

You’re so old… your birth certificate says ‘expired’!

Your aim is so bad that you threw a pebble at the ground and missed!

Your breath is so bad that I had to hold my breath when talking to you on the phone!

Your breath is so bad that your dentist uses laughing gas on himself!

Your nose is so big that you broke your neck from the weight!

Your head is so big that you show up on radars!

Your head is so big that you have to step into shirts!

Your glasses are so thick that you can see into the future!

Your feet are so big your shoes need license plates!

Your house is so small that I have to go outside to change my mind!

I bet your mother is just as ugly as you!

Your breath smells like mint.

Mint to brush your teeth but didn’t!

Learn from your parents mistake – YOU!

I’m busy right now. I can ignore you some other time!

I’m busy. My favorite commercial is on TV!

When you were born, God admitted he made a mistake!

The zoo said you need to return home!

~~~

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100+ Insults

The Funniest Insult Jokes in the World! Did you know that laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body? Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! -100+ funny insults and jokes -Hilarious insults, comedy, and humor -Lots of funny jokes and entertainment With this MASSIVE collection of funny insult jokes you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny insults is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book. Uses for funny jokes... -Can aid in storytelling -Great for conversation starters -Improves conversation and social skills -Can make others laugh, smile, and be more playful -Can lighten tense moods and create rapport with others Are you looking for funny and hilarious insult jokes? You’re so dumb… you thought the Harlem Shake was a drink! You’re so fat… you fell out of both sides of the bed! You’re so poor… you wash your paper plates! Your feet are so big your shoes need license plates! LOL Funny Jokes Club The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all! Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!

  • ISBN: 9781370207220
  • Author: Hey Sup Bye Publishing
  • Published: 2017-08-14 19:17:26
  • Words: 1466
100+ Insults 100+ Insults