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100+ Halloween Jokes

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100+ Halloween Jokes

Johnny B. Laughing, The Joke King

Funny Jokes for Kids

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Shakespir Edition

Copyright © 2014. Johnny B. Laughing. All rights reserved.

This book is a work of fiction. No part of this book or this book as a whole may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form or means without written permission from the publisher.

Shakespir Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Halloween Jokes

[][] Halloween Jokes

Q: What does a vampire take for a cold?

A: Coffin syrup!

Q: Did you hear about the ghost comedian?

A: He was booed off stage!

Q: What does a polite monster say when he meets you for the first time?

A: Pleased to eat you!

Q: What happened to the two mad vampires?

A: They both went a little batty!

Q: What did the werewolf write at the bottom of the letter?

A: Best vicious!

Q: Who won the Monster Beauty Contest?

A: No one!

Q: Which day of the week do ghosts like best?

A: Moandays!

Q: What has webbed feet and fangs?

A: Count Quackula!

Q: What does a monster do when he loses his head?

A: He calls the head hunter!

Q: How do warty witches keep their hair in place?

A: Scare spray!

Q: What do vampires cross the sea in?

A: Blood vessels!

Q: What do ghosts drink the most?

A: Ghoul-aid!

Q: On which day do monsters eat people?

A: Chewsday!

Q: What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?

A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off!

Q: Why did the vampire take up acting?

A: It was in his blood!

Q: What do ghosts drink in the morning?

A: Coffee with scream and sugar!

Q: What do you call two witches who share a room?

A: Broom-mates!

Q: Where is Dracula’s office?

A: The Vampire State Building!

Q: How do you stop a monster digging up your garden?

A: Take his shovel away!

Q: What happened to the naughty witch at school?

A: She was ex-spelled!

Q: When do vampires bite you?

A: Wincedays!

Q: How did the beautician style the ghost’s hair?

A: With a scare dryer!

Q: What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime?

A: Do not talk with someone in your mouth!

Q: Have you heard about the good weather witch?

A: She’s forecasting sunny spells!

Q: What is the first thing that vampires learn at school?

A: The alphabat!

Q: What city is a ghost’s favorite?

A: Mali-Boo!

Q: Why was the witch so bad at English?

A: Because wasn’t very good at spelling!

Q: What is Dracula’s favorite ice cream flavor?

A: Vein-illa!

Q: What happens if a big hairy monster sits in front of you at the movie theater?

A: You will miss most of the film.

Q: What happens when you see twin witches?

A: You won’t be able to tell which witch is which!

Q: Why was the young vampire a failure?

A: Because he fainted at the sight of blood!

Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another?

A: On a scareplane!

Q: How do man-eating monsters count to a thousand?

A: On their warts!

Q: How do witches lose weight?

A: They join weight witches!

Q: Why wouldn’t the vampire eat his soup?

A: Because it clotted!

Q: How does a ghost start a letter?

A: Tomb it may concern!

Q: Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn’t pretty and wasn’t ugly?

A: She was pretty ugly!

Q: How can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb?

A: You can hear their brooms tick!

Q: Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?

A: The girl necks door!

Q: What does the hungry monster get after he has eaten too much ice cream?

A: More ice cream!

Q: What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower?

A: A bat mat!

Q: How can you make a witch itch?

A: Take away her W!

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

A: Day-scare centers!

Q: What did the big, hairy monster do when he lost a hand?

A: He went to the second-hand shop!

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite sport?

A: Batminton!

Q: How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?

A: By witchful thinking!

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite soup?

A: Scream of mushroom!

Q: What do ghosts watch if they want to relax?

A: Skelly-vision!

Q: Why was the monster standing on his head?

A: He was turning things over in his mind!

Q: Did you hear about the vampire who died of a broken heart?

A: He had loved in vein!

Q: What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous movie director?

A: Steven Spellberg!

Q: What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost?

A: Spook when your spooken to!

Q: Why did the monster take his nose apart?

A: He wanted to see what made it run!

Q: Did you hear about the vampire who got married?

A: He proposed to his goul-friend!

Q: Where do ghosts get their mail?

A: At the ghost office!

Q: What is Dracula’s favorite fruit?

A: Neck-tarines!

Q: What does an Australian witch ride on?

A: A broomerang!

Q: What should you do if a monster runs through your front door?

A: Run through the back door!

Q: Why did the vampire have pedestrian eyes?

A: They looked both ways before they crossed!

Q: Who did the ghost invite to his party?

A: Anyone he could dig up!

Q: How does a girl vampire flirt?

A: She bats her eyes!

Q: What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites?

A: Don’t bite any witches!

Q: What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A: A wash-n-wear wolf!

Q: Why was the vampire thought of as simple-minded?

A: Because he was a complete sucker!

Q: What do young female monsters do at parties?

A: They go around looking for edible bachelors!

Q: Why did the vampire attack the clown?

A: He wanted the circus to be in his blood!

Q: What did the young witch say to her mother?

A: Can I have the keys to the broom tonight?

Q: How do you join a Vampire Fan Club?

A: Send your name, address and blood type!

Q: Which ghost ate too much porridge?

A: Ghouldilocks.

Q: Did you hear about the vampire who had an eye for the ladies?

A: He used to keep it in his back pocket!

Q: What can a monster do that you can’t do?

A: Count up to 25 on his fingers!

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite hobby?

A: In-grave-ing!

Q: Why is stupid monster like a jack-o-lantern?

A: They both have empty heads!

Q: Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin?

A: Because his life is at stake!

Q: What European capital has the most ghosts?

A: Boodapest!

Q: What is a monster’s favorite play to watch?

A: Romeo and Ghouliet!

Q: What kind of witch goes to the beach?

A: A sandwitch!

Q: What do vampires have at eleven o’clock every day?

A: A coffin break!

Q: How does a monster begin a fairy tale?

A: Once upon a slime there was…

Q: When do ghosts play tricks on each other?

A: On April Ghouls Day!

Q: What happened to Ray when he met the man-eating monster?

A: He became an ex-Ray!

Q: How does Dracula like to have his food served?

A: In bite-sized pieces!

Q: What do ghosts use to phone home?

A: A terror-phone!

Q: What monster plays the most April Fools jokes on others?

A: Prankenstein!

Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best?

A: A dead end!

Q: What is the hardest thing about making monster soup?

A: Stirring it!

Q: What do you get if you cross Dracula with Al Capone?

A: A fangster!

Q: How did skeletons send each other letters in the days of the Wild West?

A: Bony Express!

Q: Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

A: He was exceeding the feed limit!

Q: What is a witch’s favorite TV show?

A: Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous!

Q: What did the little ghost eat for lunch?

A: A booloney sandwich!

Q: What do they have for lunch at Monster School?

A: Human beans, boiled legs, and eyes-cream!

Q: Why did Dracula go to the dentist?

A: He wanted to improve his bite!

Q: What does a zombie say when he gets a letter from his goulfriend?

A: It’s a dead letter day!

Q: What do sea monsters have for dinner?

A: Fish and ships!

Q: Why is a ghost like an empty house?

A: Because there’s no body there!

Q: What’s the favorite subject of young witches at school?

A: Spelling!

Q: How do you stop a monster from smelling?

A: Cut off his nose!

Q: What is Dracula’s favorite pudding?

A: Leeches and scream!

Q: What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea?

A: Lots of very scared dogs!

Q: Why don’t ghosts make good magicians?

A: You can see right through their tricks!

Q: Why does Dracula have no friends?

A: Because he’s a pain in the neck!

What was your favorite joke?

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MORE FUNNY JOKES

Johnny B. Laughing, The Joke King

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2014. This book is a work of fiction. No part of this book or this book as a whole may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form or means without written permission from the publisher.


100+ Halloween Jokes

100+ Funny Halloween Jokes for Kids! Are you looking for a fun book to keep the kids entertained and happy? This funny joke book for kids is excellent for early and beginning readers. Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body! This book is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home or school. -100+ funny Halloween jokes -Excellent for early and beginner readers -Lots of fun and entertainment for kids and children -Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Funny and hilarious Halloween jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and awesome assortment of Halloween jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs! Warning: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! From this Funny Joke Book... Q: What does a vampire take for a cold? A: Coffin syrup! Q: On which day do monsters eat people? A: Chewsday! Q: What monster plays the most April Fools jokes on others? A: Prankenstein! Q: What's the favorite subject of young witches at school? A: Spelling! Q: Why does Dracula have no friends? A: Because he’s a pain in the neck! 100+ Halloween Jokes for Kids! (Clean Jokes for Children) Your monster and vampire friends might not think these jokes are that funny, but you will be rolling on the floor laughing. This hilarious collection of 100+ Halloween jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world! These jokes about monsters, ghosts, vampires, werewolves, witches, zombies, and other Halloween ghouls of all shapes and sizes will make make you go wild with laughter. This joke book is excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Johnny B. Laughing is the online comedy king! Scroll up and click 'buy' to get your copy today!

  • Author: Hey Sup Bye Publishing
  • Published: 2017-09-01 19:35:09
  • Words: 1703
100+ Halloween Jokes 100+ Halloween Jokes